I was told that even if both parties want a divorce, you do have to have a legal separation first. What I need is a divorce, I mean, I want to go straight for the gusto and get the big "D" and get my freedom as cheaply as possible. Since my estranged spouse keeps promising to help pay for the divorce but he won't even pay $38 per week child support the whole expense is mine. We now have a do-it-yourself divorce in NY so I have to check more into this. Now it benefits him not to get a divorce because if he gets a divorce then his girlfriend will expect him to marry her because they have a baby. So, I'm left in this pickle. He probably tells his girlfriend that I don't want to divorce him but I do. The way things are, he gets his freedom from marrying her and I'm back in this pickle again. I'm considering talking to this girlfriend of his and telling her, "Look, you want him and I don't. Help me get my divorce so you can have him and he won't have the excuse of being married to me to use as an excuse not to marry you." I am officially taking opinions on this. I would like to listen to the opinions of others, whether in my e-mail or on this board. Please spill your guts as I need someone to see this situation as an outsider would see it. Thank you all.---Gio