An American guy, divorced after being married 10 years travels to DR for first time. Has a great time, returns often. Over the course of maybe 8 trips dates a bunch of Dominicanas, but doesn't want anything serious. Then one trip is introduced to his buddy's wife's girlfriend. First thought? Not my type. They hang out the first night and after a very long conversation he is surprised at being attracted by her personality. He continues to come down every few weeks. They grow closer, get engaged. He applies for a visa. Complications in the visa process. She arrives in the US, entering without papers.
They Marry and move to texas. The first several months are very tough on her. She feels lonely, not knowing whenshe can return home, doesn't speak english that well, no Dominicans in texas, can't get a job or drive as no residency yet. The husband travels quite a bit for work and she feels even more desperate. After about 10 months of Marriage they realize it will not work. Not for lack of love, they both love each other deeply. they just can not live together.
During this time the husband, is having severe problems that are work related, lots of stress etc, which did not help the Marriage situation and vice versa. He decides he needs a quiet vacation. He comes very close to going to Acapulco or Honduras as he wanst to go somewhere different. Last minute decides to go to Santo Domingo.
Having pretty much sworn off Dominican women, not because of bad experience but because of the difficulties that arise any time 2 people from different worlds start a relationship.
Travels to DR, and meets a great girl. He is very self concious, and tries to take things very slowly. She OTOH falls pretty quickly. Eventually he realizes he is holding back not because of her, but because he had "sworn off" Dominicanas.
he travels down several times and they grow much closer. Then he finally gets laid off and moves to the DR. They now live together with her 7 year old son and are pretty damn happy.
He. . . . .Ok I think that the first year for any relationship can be very tough, especially when the 2 people are from different countries. I am finding it to be a good thing that we spent the first year down here. I think getting over the initial year of living together in the DR, before even thinking about going to the US is a good thing. She is not real thrilled with living in the US and for now we plan to stay here for the forseeable future.
So it may look like I am batting .500 but I don't really see my first relationship with a Dominicana to be a failure. It didn't last, true, but I can not say that she was a bad person or tried to use or hurt me. I think if circumstances were slightly different things could have worked out fine.
I have given a lot of thought as to why we sort of have a double standard when it comes to Relationships between Gringos or Gringas with Dominicans. We always jump down the Gringas throats and tell them there is almost zero chance of it working etc.
I have seen many a girl in Boca Chica emailing 6 novios et once etc. I also see less "cautioning" when a guy gets involved with a Dominicana.
I thought maybe we were being unfair. Then I realized one BIG difference when dealing with Dominican ladies versus "sankys".
I think both sankys and their famale counterparts can be guilty of being motivated by money, residency, or material things. The difference that i have found is many Dominican women have had ENOUGH with Dominican men. Many Dominicanas will tell you horror stories about dominican men.
OTOH, I have never heard Dominican men complain about Dominicanas. In fact they most likely can't get enough of them. So while both sides have people with less than good intentions, if you take away the materialistic reasons for the sankys, they many times don't have any other reasons.
I personally know of a decent amount of men that have married and stayed married to Dominican women. I don't know of any cases with gringas married to Dominicanos, well I know one, but he has used and abused her and treats her like crap. She was definitely his ticket to the states and he has bailed many times and has tons of girls on the side.
Having said all that the cab driver that picked me up the other day told me he just bought a PC and had a Novia from the states. I immediately assumed she bought him the PC. He proudly pulled out a picture of her that he printed out. She looked to be late 40s - early 50s, more than a bit "chubby", not the most attractive woman I have ever seen. The guy was all smiles, and seemed VERY genuine when he said this is my novia. he seemed VERY proud to be ablle to say she was his novia.
I went to a cajero and when i returned he was on the cell phone with her. He was extremely happy that she called and can't wait till she returns. Now he could have been "acting" but he had no reason to convince me, and I have been around the block, he looked genuine.
I later spoke to a barmaid that uses this cab driver every night and she was telling me that he was MUY enamorado. Also he bought the PC before he met her, and they emailed and chatted online constantly.
Would I bet my life this guy was really in love? No. Would I bet some cash. . . . . .you bet.
I think as long as you are not blind, and jaded there are potentials on both sides, but I do think the women have it much harder than us gringos do.
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