That's the ticket Onion
You don't sound like your dying of guilt (LOL). but that's exactly what I was leading too, it's called "The broken window syndrome". You know, a person walks by what appears to be an abandon building with most of its windows broken. On the floor where he stands lies a pile of rocks to which he believes is what was used to break the windows. He reaches down picks up a rock and challenges himself to break one of the few good ones left. He does so, then walks away feeling fulfilled because he too has broken one, afterall everyone else has done it.
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