Lines and more lines

My mother is sick. My baby is sick. My grandma is sick. My baby needs milk. I haven't eaten today. I don't have any place to sleep. If I don't make this payment they will take away my motorcycle. I want to ask a favor. Only if you want to. I can tell you're not like all the rest. Can you help me out. I'll pay you back. You're my friend, right? Where's my gift? Today's my birthday. Can you lend me 100 pesos? With you it's different. I'm not like all the others. Can I have a picture of "us"? Come see my house (so you can see how miserable I live). Come see my house (so you can see the picture of "us" on the wall). We can write eachother by fax. Can I have your phone number? Can you send me some money? I've got a problem. I love you. I miss you. Can you send me some money? I don't want to leave the Dominican Republic. I like it here. My family has money. I'm not interested in yours. If I wanted money, I'd be with an old man/woman. I don't want your money, but if you want, you can buy me groceries. I have to go to the city to visit my mother. I have to get up home tomorrow because of my kid(s). I have a job but I'm off this week. I don't like public displays of affection (it will hurt my chances with anybody watching). I'm with him/her for money but it is you that I really like. I turned down many opportunities to be with you. I quit my job so I could be with you during your visit. My stomach hurts. I have a headache. I'm tired. (Don't touch me). Let's put everything in your name so you know it is really yours. I hate Dominican men. They are macho and brutal. I hate Dominican women. They are all sluts. You're not fat. I don't think you are old. I think of you as the same age as me. Foreigners treat us better. I don't like Dominicans. Buy me a house. Then you can stay with me when you visit. Buy me a car. I'll work as a taxi driver. My motorcylce needs a repair and I'm broke. This is my brother/sister/cousin. I'm 18 but I don't have any ID. When you come, bring me ____ and I'll pay you for it. It's real expensive here. I'd like to visit you in your country. You won't ever leave me, will you? Don't believe them. They talk bad about me because they are jealous. Don't talk to anybody. It can be dangerous for you. They will cheat you. Maybe it's that way in your country, but not here. You're my esposo/esposa. I'm not going to go out again until you come back. Who, her/him? We're just friends. I don't want any money, but if you want to give me a gift ... I'm with you for love, not money. Let's go to the city (and shopping). I don't like the tourist towns. Can I go to the airport with you to say good-bye? I'll meet you at the airport when you arrive. I'm "serio/seria" now. I'm a man of work. Let's start a business (with your money). I'm all alone. (said with jealousy) do you like her/him? You are a good dancer.

WOW Jim! That was great. I thought you had listed all of them, but I remembered one more. ______ is in jail,and I need money to get him out.

Jim!! That was perfect!!! ROFLMHO!! One more....You have beautiful eyes!!

how do you have time to write all the S...? when you give 10 dlls to a dominican, they use it to buy food. when you give 10 dlls to your children, they buy CRACK. THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE.

LOL!

You made me think of a couple I heard when I first came to the US:

I hear an accent, where are you from?

That is such a cute accent!

Oh yes, the DR (he doesn't know where the DR is).

I'd love to hear more about the DR (not really).

I love Mexican food.

I can speak Mexican.

You're so exotic looking!

White women are so boring. I love a more exotic woman.

You know, I am really serious about marriage now (he's twice divorced).

Latin women take marriage more seriously.

I hear Latin women are great cooks.

Latin women are passionate!

I would love to visit the DR.

I love your brown almond shaped eyes.

I haven't seen a smile like yours!

and the most annoying one:

Ooooh, bonita!

Lighten up, Patrick. Did it say anywhere that all Dominicans are like this? No. And I am quite convinced Jim didn't mean that either. But if you have ever listened to the smooth talking latin lovers (male as well as female) at a resort you would admit he is not far off as to how well meaning but naive tourists are sometimes taken for a ride.

Remember the Chi-Chi thread?

Regards, Susanne

Jim, I think you're a scream! If you didn't get them all, you certainly hit the top 20! Just a quick note to Patrick. Please allow me to make one small correction to your post. When you give 10 bucks to a Dominican, they go out and buy RUM. If you give a Dominican a bag of rice he may just feed his family but more likely, sell the bag of rice and go and buy more RUM! As wonderful as Dominicans are, they are still only human and subject to all the same pressures and media.

Hey Jim, my man! You are really a funny guy. Your sense of humor shows that you must be an awesomely cool dude.

Here are a few more to complete your "collection":

"Dominican government announces fully prosecution and incarceration of foreign criminals prior to deportation"

"Foreigner arrested on charges of promoting child prostitution"

"Tourism boom in Dominican Republic results in increased cases of HIV cases, study shows"

"Police raid home of foreigners and finds child pornography video tapes"

"After neighbor complaints Dominican cops arrest group of foreigners that filmed sexually explicit videos of neighborhood's children"

"Dominican Interpol arrests foreigners that relocated to DR in attempt to evade prosecution in _________ (take your pick of countries)"

"Drug traficking increased in tourists areas"

"Major drug bust exposes international ring with ties to foreigners resident in the DR"

"Tourist arrested on drug posession charges"

"Police announces the incarceration at 'Carcel La Victoria' of foreigners implicated in transcontinental network that sold women to prostitution houses in Europe"

Regards

JCesar

My personal favorites were:

"The moment you walked into the room, I saw your eyes and knew you were for me."

And at the end of the night...."My heart aches for you (your heart or penis?!), please stay with me."

"I prefer American women. They are more independent (they have more money) than Dominican women."

Jim, you are great. I was laughing my butt off at your accuracy!

Now, here is my disclaimer: Of course, not all Dominicans are like this. We all know that. And, yes, all men in all countries use lines. But a great number of Dominican men are guilty of using these lines and especially in the resort areas. So, before the DR Defender admonishes me, I just want to make it clear... I am not labeling ALL Dominicans.

Hey Jim, I agree that your list was pretty funny BUT Sure some Dominican men have used all of these lines several times, some have probably used them sometimes, some may have used a few of them , but I do believe that there are DR guys there that haven't ever used them. Hey, I'm from Canada and I have heard Canadian jerks use way cruder, and cheesier lines then these. Just because one egg in the carton is broken doesn't mean you have to throw the rest out. There is no way Dominican men are all the same. Who are they hurting anyway?? I never got ask for money while I was there, on the contrary, everything "we" did, he paid for. And hey, I wouldn't have minded paying for some stuff, after all, when you are there you realize just how good we have it here. So don't be so hard on them (assuming that's what you were doing as opposed to poking fun at) Cheers Missy