Now, the most hassle that I ever got was in November, 2005 when I was coming back to the US and didn't know any of the agents there. I get pulled aside after the last x-ray machine and they started questioning me. I go along with the agent until he calls another guy and then I noticed that they were getting somewhat nasty with me, at which point I told the guy that if they were going to question me as if I was a criminal, they would have to do it in English because I'm a US citizen and I don't feel comfortable being subjected to an interrogation in Spanish. They questioned me about my frequent traveling, because I usually go to DR 10 to 12 times a year. They went through my wallet, asked about my finances, my job, who do I visit in DR, yadda, yadda, yadda... They told me that I would possibly miss my flight (last one out) because they wanted to take me to Las Corominas Clinic for x-rays. I told the agent that I would consent to any testing that they wished, as long as I made it home that day. I sternly warned them that if I missed that flight, they would have to arrange for a private flight to get me home that day.
Anyway, I spent a good hour with them in the office and they finally offered to do a test using a reactive liquid for the presence of drugs. After the test was done, they asked me to sign a document in Spanish stating that I had been treated fairly and professionally, which I did, because I was in a windowless room with 2 armed DNCD agents and another guy in camouflage holding a machine gun, so it's not like I had much choice. During the entire ordeal, I carefully noted everyone's last name and made sure to commit those to memory. I was escorted all the way into the plane after all the passengers were already seated and the plane was ready for departure.
That same night, when I got home, I called one of my uncles who is a colonel in the army, and much to my surprise, he was assigned to the DNCD and knew all the names that I had commited to memory. He asked me if I wanted them fired, but I told him to just put a little fear into them. The next day, they got a good reaming and were all reassigned to other posts out of STI.
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