The point here is that there was something in the way of his happiness, marrying this woman, and instead of discussing it with her and deciding on a course of action, he covertly planned his moves and never shared them.
To me this shows immaturity on his part; why not tell her the situation and then come to some mutually satisfying agreement on how to handle it?
Is my mentality too americana here? I mean, what if the girl realized the situation and said, mi amor, let's go ahead and get married, I understand it is not the best way go right now, but we can make it work....
At any rate, I am very sorry for you, the original poster. From the way it is written I am assuming you are talking about yourself. You have quite a bit of emotion invested.
I have no other thoughts or advice; the fact is that there may be a relationship that can be salvaged but it is going to be a lot of work and take years to mend...
or, maybe there is no real relationship to fix. Maybe it was a ruse to get to some new place and find a better life regardless of the cost to get there.
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