Quote:
Originally Posted by jrf
So I asked my friend in the RD why this girl likes me and wants to get to know me.
Well he asked her (a little junior highish but hey) and what she said was that she felt she could be safe with me, that I wouldn't hurt her, I would be a good provider, and that I was responsible.
What I wanted to hear was that she was attracted to me and wanted to be with me. A desire to be with me.
I wasn't sure how I felt about her answer but after thinking about it it was a good answer.
So many times I have thought 'Wow' she looks great and then she ends up being an idiot. Beautiful outside but not inside.
What her answer seemed to say is that she looked beyond the appearance and got to the point.
Women want security and balance and responisibility-which I am sure make the men more attractive.
Is this the case?
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jrf relax, she already thinks you're attractive or she wouldn't be evaluating you for a relationship. That she has a criteria is a good sign. Any woman who has given some thought to what she wants in her life she will have a criteria like that one for selecting her partner.
A lot of woman don't think about it and are ruled by their hormones and emotions. If she is looking for commitment she will look for someone who can provide that. Someone who values stability (emotional and financial) will value a man who will make her feel safe, won't hurt her, who is a good provider, and is responsible. It depends on the woman, her family education and her values. This will shape her vision for herself as a woman and her relations with men.
Some women have educational, career, family aspirations that are well-thought out and shaped in their childhood, examined and re-examined. These dreams develop in the family with the expectations of the parents. Other women, just travel through life without any vision or guidance and they have little control over the events in their life.
I think all women like someone who will take care of them (emotionally, sexually, economically). I think women like to know that when their partner goes out in the world, at the end of the day he's going to return to her. (Depending on the cultural values, she will look for someone who won't cheat on her while he's out there.
But she might accept infidelity as long as he comes home to her and the family.) If he's commited and responsible, then you have security and you can have a longterm relationship. Then you have a partner you can count on to reach your mutual personal and/or family goals through thick and thin.
But yes, attraction has to be there. And if it's mutual, then there is an incredible chemistry. The attractiveness of an individual can be shaped by their physical, intellectual and emotional characteristics. I know women who say they are looking for a longterm relationship who turn down responsible, stable men based on their butt size, their lips, their lack of muscles etc. But you're a man jrf, maybe physical attraction is more important for you at the beginning but depending on your mission you might look at other characteristics for a longterm relationship. After a couple days of great sex, she's has to be a little interesting if you're going to keep her around on Monday. (Hopefully she can clean, make breakfast and pack a lunch for you as well.
)
Wishing you love and happiness in 2007.
Margaret