Quote:
Originally Posted by chillindr
I said I dont let her out of my sight and she does not want to go alone with him anywhere. And IF we went to Santo Domingo it would not be with him but with her friend from Santo Domingo...then she would meet him there and not only would I be with her but also her friend from Santo Domingo who has a car and lives there. And I do know how far it is from Punta Cana to Santo Domingo. And like I said she is NOT interested in him as a boyfriend...she enjoys talking to him. He has told her alot about the country which she has an interest in as well as how people live there. She loves to learn about other countries, loves to travel and has an interest in other cultures.
But reading the post about sanky watcher about them getting dangerous worried me some. Prior to that I didn't have a problem with her talking to him or having him come see her again but neither she nor I want to get into something that could be dangerous...he has showed NO signs of any kind of what has been posted about Sankies so he has given neither of us reason to believe he is one. In fact her friend who is college educated acts more like one then this guy.
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As a father of two girls I personally would be wary of letting your daughter go out with this fellow alone. I happen to be an American and am married to a Dominican women that I met here in Santiago 7 years ago - so there are serious Dominicans to be found.
The problem is that there are some
very strong beliefs and prejudices that most of the lower educated and lower income Dominicans have about foreigners in general. There are fed stuff about "NY" from an early age and are led to believe that it is heaven on earth. In fact I don't hesitate to say if you did a survey with Dominicans about what would they want to have most in this world 9 out of 10 would say "go to NY". This attitude is pretty much the case anywhere on this island and unfortunately is 100 times worse in the tourist areas. I honestly doubt that in a hundred people you would find 10 that wouldn't have these beliefs and they would probably be very devout catholics/christians more than likely.
Also, Dominicans on the whole are very polite compared to Americans - it is valued here and one of the things that I enjoy - BUT you shouldn't take this to mean that this guy is serious.
As far as the guy being generous, one shouldn't read too much into that either because guys are supposed to pay here for everything even if they are dirt poor.
The things that bother me the most is that this guy is from the coast and a dancer. He has been raised all of his life to desire to go to NY and not only that this kid is Dominican and if you don't know already young Dominican boys are just as michevious if not worse that their American counterparts. I won't hesitate to say that if this guy isn't a devout person that if he is decent looking he has certainly been out with his "share" of chicas. Furthermore, this will not change with time, nor marriage nor the love of a good women no matter how attractive she is. Dominican men will tell you and have told me that the goal is to bed as many women as possible. How much more of a trophy would an American girl be? For them it just doesn't get any better I can assure you. Also, Dominican girls/women are a lot more promiscuous than there American counterparts so bottom line when this guy has had his fun with your baby and things get "difficult" don't expect him not to start looking for an "easier" time. Check in the yellow pages and look for "Cabanas Turisticas" - these are the places Domicans go to on the weekend for a quickie with whoever - there are a lot of them.
If your daughter insists (as she more than likely will) on pursuing a "friendship" with this guy, make sure you are part of it 24/7. At some point if the guy is not serious and is expending a lot of time and money and not getting anywhere he will tire of your daughter and move on. If he is serious (which I doubt) they may have a friendship and if your daughter's Spanish is really that good it won't be long before she starts to understand how many of the people think here with regard to gringos and NY.
If your daughter is really interested in learning about this culture more you might have her consider attending one of the universites either in Santiago or Santo Domingo for a semester. There she will have to meet more of the "real" Dominicans who are not so caught up in the peculiar dynamic that is so prevalent in the tourist areas. There is a link here in DR1 that has info - and I understand it is quite economical.