Retired in 1992, married an older Dominican women and bought a home in Puerto Plata.
So I can't resist adding my 2 cents to this post.
An educated chica that has a job in the bank or goes to school, and lives at home with their middle class or well off family is generally off limits for a tourist on vacation or the semi retired older man living here. Sure maybe my 28 year old son with his Spanish when he was living here might be accepted into such a family as her date/boyfriend.
But for sure the 40/50/60 year old "gringo" tourist that isn't needed to provide support for the middle or upper class family won't be a welcome guest or dinner date for their 25 year old daughter. (Remember the movie "Guess who's coming for dinner".)
If there is more than a 10 to 15 year age difference than you are just fooling your self that the relationship is based on anything more than money.
You may find a poor and educated beautiful chica working in a department store and is over 30 that are looking for an older/mature man to take care of her and her children. But they aren't found easily and you have to speak some Spanish.
Take note of these truths:
Even the most Dominicanized gringo is going to be looked upon as an outsider here, who potentially has money. There is no way to get around this. Their world view is often very narrow - much of their understanding of us comes from TV and other very stereotyped viewpoints.
Dominican families (and Dominicans in general) tend to be very good about sharing resources - if someone gets sick or needs some financial help, they will often scrape up money from very extended parts of the family to try and pay the bill. Thus, a Dominican girlfriend EXPECTS that you will have some extra money to share with the family.
A Dominican girl will treat you like you are her boyfriend, hoping that you will send money to her after you leave in order to help support her family.
We love them because they are very passionate and child like, when we leave for 4 months we expect them to sit and wait for our return. Get real, they aren't and neither are we faithful to them. And as an outsider don't expect anyone to tell you that the money you've just given her went to pay the doctor for her Dominican boyfriend’s broken leg. She had told you she needed the money for her son who is sick. I know because it happened to me (and I live here). They do behave like 8/9 year old children in that they want everything now and will tell you very transparent lies in an attempt to get what they want.
We are and will always be an outsider; all we can hope to be is an accepted outsider.
|