Dear La Otra,
It is hard for anyone here to say because we don't know your husband, his family, or really much about your situation other than what you posted in your paragraph above.
I do, however, think that it is very suspicious that he lied about the woman living in his house. If she was strictly his ex and she was merely living in his house because he's a nice guy and had no where else to go, I would think that he would have mentioned it to you. The fact that he lied and kept it a secret is very suspicious. Also, the fact that you called the woman and she said they are still together is another big red flag. Yes, she may have lied to you because she's jealous that he's with you and not with her, but I think that is highly unlikely. The main thing is that he lied to you about her and kept it a secret and now that it's come out he's trying to cover his butt because what he's got with you is a good thing and probably better and a more prosperous situation than he'd have in DR with this other woman.
Again, it's hard for anyone here to say, but I think his lying is forth coming and I would think it is a huge red flag.
Good luck to you and your children with everything. I imagine this must be a difficult situation to be in and to decide what is right and best for your children and yourself.
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