Vaseline and sex
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was
Greeted by a young woman with three small children running
Around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.
Have you ever used the product?'
She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'
'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
'We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie
To me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help
Gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.
I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you
Exactly how you use it for sex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all...
My husband and I put it on the
Door knob and it keeps the kids out.'
And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...!
Shame on you !
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You crack me up Frank...thanks for the joke!
A man escapes from a prison and breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. I love you, too!"
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