there will be no revolution until February. Hipolito lucks out again.
Here are some old and new baseball Jokes
Confucius say: "Man can't walk with four balls!"
and--->
Outing to a Baseball Game
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to
take his patients to a baseball game. For
weeks in advance, he coached his patients
to respond to his commands. When the day
of the game arrived, everything seemed to
be going well.
As the National Anthem started the doctor
yelled, "Up Nuts" and the patients complied
by standing up. After the anthem he yelled,
"Down Nuts". And they all sat back down in
their seats. After a home run was hit, the
doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all
broke out into applause and cheered. When the
umpire made a particularly bad call against
the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled,
"Booooo Nuts!" and they all started booing
and cat calling.
Thinking things were going very well. The
doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog,
leaving his assistant in charge. When he
returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding
his assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the
world happened?"
The assistant replied, "Well, everything was
going just fine till a vendor passed by and
yelled PEANUTS!"
First Baseball Game
When young José, newly arrived in the United
States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium,
there were no tickets left for sale. Touched
by his disappointment, a friendly ticket
salesman found him a perch near the American
flag. Later, José wrote home enthusiastically
about his experience, "And the Americans, they
are so friendly!" he concluded. "Before the
game started, they all stood up and looked at
me and sang, 'José, can you see?'"
NOTE: To all who are outside the United States,
prior to the start of a baseball game, everyone
stands and sings the national anthem. The first
line is "Oh, say can you see..."
Scotsman at the Baseball Game
A recent Scottish immigrant to the U.S. attends
his first baseball game. After a base hit, he
hears the fans roaring "Run! Run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball
and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the
crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-r-un yah bahstard.
R-r-run!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman,
obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game,
screams "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya."
The next batter's count goes up to three and two.
As the pitch crosses past outside the plate, he
holds his swing. The umpire calls a walk and the
batter walks toward first base. The Scotsman
stands up yelling "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits
down, confused. A friendly fan, sensing his
embarrassment, whispers, "He doesn't have to run,
he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in
disbelief and screams, "Walk
PR-R-ROUD, man!"
Play Ball!
HB
Baseball starts today, therfore...
