Marriage Parts I - V
MARRIAGE (PART I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time
I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell
you. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and
card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't
you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.
Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
understand that there'll be sex here at ten o'clock
every night - whether you're here or not."
MARRIAGE (PART II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells,
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At
Last."
MARRIAGE (PART III)
A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight
at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and
says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms
out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides
to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
phone after many rings and the irritated husband says,
"What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this late - doing what?" he said.
"Getting a second opinion!"
MARRIAGE (PART IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts
calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that
it's time to go home and wants to find
out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
at the top of his voice, "Shall we go
home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready,
Father of Four!'"
MARRIAGE (PART V)
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent
treatment. The next week the man realized that he
would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am
for a flight to Europe. Not wanting to be the first
to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of
paper, "Please wake me tomorrow morning at 5:00 am".
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00am, and that he had missed
his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife hadn't awakened him when he noticed a piece
of paper by the bed - it said: "It's 5:00am, wake up."
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