Oh Little Billy....:devious:

[Jon S.]

Subject: Little Billy


Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you
know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f****ing business!!"
~~~~~~~~~~

LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
~~~~~~~~~

LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:

Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.

"But ! that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the f****ing difference?" asks the father?

"That's what I said!"
~~~~~~~~~~

LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says,
"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
~~~~~~~~~~~

LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:


One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly
called on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f****ing beautiful."

[chicker]

We'll use little Eddie for this one

Little Eddie's fourth grade teacher had thought of a game. "We'll go through the alphabet, class, and you raise your hand when you think of a word that starts with that letter. OK, who has a word for 'A'?"
Little Eddie's hand shot up like a rocket.
"Alright, Edward, what begins with 'A'?"
"Assh*le!" said Little Eddie.
"Oh my goodness, Edward, let's have no more of that," said the teacher, "now who can think of a word that starts with 'B'?
Again, little Eddie's waving hand was in the air first. But the teacher ignored him. On she went through the alphabet, reluctant to call on little Eddie, even though he was squirming almost out of his seat and always had his hand up first. Finally she got to the letter 'R'. She quickly ran through all the 'bad' words in her mind, and, finding none that started with 'R', decided to give little Eddie another chance. "OK, Edward," she said, "what word begins with 'R'?"
"Teacher. 'R' stands for 'rats.' Big f*cking rats with cocks this long!"

SLM
~blush~

[joseíto]

Fun stuff! Me likes.

-Joseíto