Driving according to GOLO
Mercedes Driving Test
A little while ago GOLO went to take his
driving test. After the usual forms were
completed, identification presented, and
fees paid, the clerk asked my friend,
"Do you plan to drive a Mercedes?"
"I always drive the best!", said Golo.
The clerk handed him the standard driving
test, and a special one, just for Mercedes.
I took a quick peek at it. Here's what
the test said:
MERCEDES BENZ DRIVING TEST
1. Before changing lanes you should:
(A) signal.
(B) check.
(C) both a & b.
(D) just swing into the lane without
doing either a or b.
2. The top light on a traffic signal is:
(A) red.
(B) yellow.
(C) green.
(D) Who cares, it doesn't apply to me
anyway.
3. The speed limit in a residential area is:
(A) 35 MPH.
(B) 25 MPH.
(C) 45 MPH.
(D) I paid $65,000 for this car, I'll drive
as fast as I want.
4. In you country, when a pedestrian enters a cross
walk, you should:
(A) slow to a walking pace.
(B) go around the block.
(C) stop.
(D) speed up and honk your horn.
5. In the other 149 countries, when a pedestrian enters
a cross walk, you should:
(A) maintain your speed.
(B) slow a little.
(C) slow a lot.
(D) speed up and don't bother honking your
horn.
6. Your may make a left turn from the right lane:
(A) never.
(B) when there is a left turn arrow.
(C) on Sunday at 2 A.M.
(D) When ever you damn well feel like it.
7. When a school bus has flashing red lights, you:
(A) must stop.
(B) may pass on the left after checking.
(C) may pass after slowing to 5 MPH.
(D) use your car phone to order Chinese food
while passing on the left.
8. When you hear an emergency vehicle siren, you
should:
(A) pull to the right and stop.
(B) pull into the nearest car wash.
(C) roll down your windows.
(D) turn up the radio and ignore it.
9. You may make a U-turn in front of a fire
station:
(A) never.
(B) when the doors are closed.
(C) if there are no police around.
(D) when you have missed your turn.
10. When approaching a traffic light where cars
are stopped, you should:
(A) relax.
(B) watch the signal.
(C) stop a safe distance back from the car
in front.
(D) call your wife/secretary/current squeeze on your car
phone so everyone can see that you have
a car phone.
11. When turning onto a side street, you should
signal:
(A) two blocks before turning.
(B) two car lengths before turning.
(C) two miles before turning.
(D) what for, if the guy behind me hits me,
I'll sue him.
12. A U-turn in a business district is legal:
(A) only at an intersection.
(B) always.
(C) never.
(D) if I pass a sale at the Custom Tailor's.
13. Parking in a red-zone is permitted:
(A) never.
(B) on Sunday.
(C) if there is a fire hydrant.
(D) when I'll only be there for five
minutes.
14. What is your annual gross income:
(A) $10,000-20,000.
(B) $20,000-40,000.
(C) $40,000-80,000.
(D) $80,000 and up.
Scoring
If you answered 'd' on every question, you
have a perfect score. You are certified to
drive a Mercedes Benz Automobile. You may,
at your discretion, proceed to your nearest
Mercedes Benz authorized distributor and
select the Mercedes Benz Automobile of your
choice.
If you answered a, b, or c on two or fewer
questions, you may request a retest in two
weeks time. Please study the Mercedes Benz
motor vehicle guide in preparation for
your retest.
If you answered a, b, or c on more than two
questions, we're sorry, you just don't have
the proper attitude to be a Mercedes Benz
Automobile driver. Perhaps you should
consider a BMW or something American.
Needless to say, Golo passed with flying colors...
HB, hehehe
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one more question on that test
How is a Mercedes like a hemmeroid?????
