Ten Top Indicators that you Employer has Changed to a Cheaper HMO

[Ken]

10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from RotoRooter.
_6. The only item listed under Preventative Care coverage is "An apple a day."
5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network-charges" is not a typo.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little M's on them.
And the number 1 sign you've joined a cheap HMO:
1. You ask for Viagra; you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.