Does this qualify as "War" stuff, Rob?
Axis of Evil Wannabees
by John Cleese
> >Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
> >China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just
> >as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
> >Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
> >Union address.
> >
> >Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
> >new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name.
> >"Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!"
> >declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody
> >knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil ...
> >we're the best."
> >
> >Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
> >although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of
> >Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
> >al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three counties", explained
> >Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule, it's tradition.
> >In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil
> >Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake.
> >Ours is wickedly cool."
> >
> >
> >International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration
> >was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
> >
> >Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
> >what has been a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia
> >announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing
> >Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the 'Axis of Occasionally
> >Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of
> >Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
> >
> >With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
> >up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the
> >"Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked
> >to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of
> >Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
> >Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and
> >Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep
> >to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just
> >something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First
> >Minister Jack McConnell.
> >
> >While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
> >making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
> >although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose
> >Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false
> >application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay and Chadguay denied the
> >charges.
> >
> >Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
> >privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
|
(10)
