A Few Jokes To Relax !!!

[Blackman]

WHAT A COINCIDENCE

The bartender served a woman a glass of orange juice.
The man sitting next to her, turned to her and said,
"This is a special day; I'm celebrating."
"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.

"What are you celebrating?" he asked.
"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered.
"Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "
As it happens I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my
hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."

"How did it happen?" asked the woman.
"I switched cocks." Said the man.

"What a coincidence!" she replied.

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GOOD - BAD - WORSE

How many of us can differentiate between Good-Bad-Worse????

Here are the examples........

*Good: You and your spouse agree, no More kids.
*Bad: The birth control pills are missing.
*Worse: Your daughter borrowed them.

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*Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
*Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
*Worse: You're in them.

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*Good: Your husband understands fashion.
*Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
*Worse: He looks better than you.

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*Good: Your son's finally maturing.
*Bad: He is involved with the woman next Door.
*Worse: So are you.

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*Good: You teach your daughter about the birds and the bees.
*Bad: She keeps interrupting.
*Worse: With corrections.

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*Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
*Bad: She wants a divorce.
*Worse: She's a lawyer.

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DREAM CAR

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around,
then spot the perfect car and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud
fart escapes her.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if
anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales
person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman.

"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this
lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are
going to **** when you hear the price."