Chicken Jokes

[Eddy]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
>
>GEORGE W. BUSH
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
>want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
>is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
>
>AL GORE
> I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
>chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
>different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to
>bring greater services to the American people.
>
>RALPH NADER
> The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
>polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
>unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by
>the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
>
>PAT BUCHANAN
> To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
>
>RUSH LIMBAUGH
> I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
>getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
>there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
>crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
>real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
>dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
>the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
>
>MARTHA STEWART
> No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
>standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
>dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
>
>JERRY FALWELL
> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
>see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
>other chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until
>we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
>seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
>
>DR. SEUSS
> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
>Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
>
>ERNEST HEMINGWAY
> To die. In the rain. Alone.
>
>MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
>without having their motives called into question.
>
>GRANDPA
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
>told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
>
>BARBARA WALTERS
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
>the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
>experienced a serious case of moulting and went on to accomplish its
>life-long dream of crossing the road.
>
>JOHN LENNON
> Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
>
>ARISTOTLE
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>KARL MARX
> It was a historical inevitability.
>
>SADDAM HUSSEIN
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
>justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>
>VOLTAIRE
> I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to
>the death its right to do it.
>
>RONALD REAGAN
> What chicken?
>
>CAPTAIN KIRK
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>
>FOX MULDER
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
>chickens have to cross before you believe it?
>
>SIGMUND FREUD
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
>the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>
>BILL GATES
> I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
>roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
>check book and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
>
>ALBERT EINSTEIN
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
>the chicken?
>
>BILL CLINTON
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
>chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
>
>THE BIBLE
> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
>"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
>was much rejoicing.
>
>COLONEL SANDERS
> I missed one?