Extra Extra, Breaking news

[KrackedKris]

Pete Pnao
ZNN STAFF WRITER
June 12, 2004
STAFF SGT. Joe Escabo’s lanky frame was fully extended on the rope for what seemed too long on the way down. Hanging from a hovering Blackhawk helicopter, Escabo was a full 70 feet above the streets of Sosua. His goggles had broken, so his eyes chafed in the thick cloud of dust stirred up by the bird's rotors., he was desperately trying to find a landing zone but UBH’s, fierce in their insistence, prevented a clean landing.

Escabo could see Ladybird’s Rolls running fast from her hacienda in the cane fields of Sosua, armed men on donkey’s chasing the car, angrily waving their deadly Plantains

Escabo watched as they chased her into the chaos of Puerto Plata, water pistols blazing over her hood, the terror.

It was such a long descent that the thick nylon rope burned right through the palms of his leather gloves. The rest of his Chalk, his squad, had already roped in, quickly disappearing into car washes????. Nearing the street, through the swirling dust below his feet, Escabo saw a few of his men taking up positions on the war torn city streets

The raid was barely under way, and already something had gone wrong. It was just the first in a series of worsening mishaps that would endanger this daring mission. For Escabo, a five-year veteran from Hoboken, Va., leading men into combat for the first time, it was the beginning of the longest day of his life.

Stories had been circulating about the Warlord that had targeted NATO Citizens in the sprawling Northern Dominican Metropolis of Sosua. Reports of murderers on the loose, Ex Pats being caught up in fierce firefights, Police that refused to heed the pleas of British Ladies forced to wear dirty knickers for days on end, homeowners terrified on their Ranchos by marauding men with machetes, oh the humanity…..

Then the Rangers faced off with heavily armed men. Escabo approached the leader and after tense negotiations, the Warlord agreed to stop harassing Ladybird in turn for 2 pairs of Nikes and her promise to change her knickers.

To make a long story short, after the expenditure of 13 Million dollars, 1200 man hours and several plugged toilets on the USS Boxer, Ladybird was rescued from her tormentors

Thank you Dr Freud

[jsizemore]

A story of ongoing investigation of occupation troops involved in sex with local prostitutes in this very traditional Catholic country has caused a some diplomatic tension. The outgoing president of the DR has expressed exasperation that the American troops would stoop so low as to mare the image of the pristine paradise for would be tourist. In the mean time the American Embassy in Santo Domingo has issued Guidelines to troops about trying to marry sankies and hookers. It is also rumored the troops are being given condoms free of charge by the military even though there is a no fraternization with the locals policy. The US Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of staff stated for the record that the American Troops are not having sex but the condoms are being used to keep dirt out of the rifle barrels.
It is rumored the Former President Bill Clinton Has volunteered to be the American Interim Mayor of Sosua while the United States attempts to restore sovereignty to the Dominican Republic.
In an unrelated story Ex Haitian president Aristede has signed an executive order giving himself a pay raise as the still legitimate president of Haiti
Film at 11

[KrackedKris]

,,,,,,,

[KrackedKris]

Originally Posted by KrackedKris

Pete Pnao
ZNN STAFF WRITER
June 12, 2004
STAFF SGT. Joe Escabo’s lanky frame was fully extended on the rope for what seemed too long on the way down. Hanging from a hovering Blackhawk helicopter, Escabo was a full 70 feet above the streets of Sosua. His goggles had broken, so his eyes chafed in the thick cloud of dust stirred up by the bird's rotors., he was desperately trying to find a landing zone but UBH’s, fierce in their insistence, prevented a clean landing.

Escabo could see Ladybird’s Rolls running fast from her hacienda in the cane fields of Sosua, armed men on donkey’s chasing the car, angrily waving their deadly Plantains

Escabo watched as they chased her into the chaos of Puerto Plata, water pistols blazing over her hood, the terror.

It was such a long descent that the thick nylon rope burned right through the palms of his leather gloves. The rest of his Chalk, his squad, had already roped in, quickly disappearing into car washes????. Nearing the street, through the swirling dust below his feet, Escabo saw a few of his men taking up positions on the war torn city streets

The raid was barely under way, and already something had gone wrong. It was just the first in a series of worsening mishaps that would endanger this daring mission. For Escabo, a five-year veteran from Hoboken, Va., leading men into combat for the first time, it was the beginning of the longest day of his life.

Stories had been circulating about the Warlord that had targeted NATO Citizens in the sprawling Northern Dominican Metropolis of Sosua. Reports of murderers on the loose, Ex Pats being caught up in fierce firefights, Police that refused to heed the pleas of British Ladies forced to wear dirty knickers for days on end, homeowners terrified on their Ranchos by marauding men with machetes, oh the humanity…..

Then the Rangers faced off with heavily armed men. Escabo approached the leader and after tense negotiations, the Warlord agreed to stop harassing Ladybird in turn for 2 pairs of Nikes and her promise to change her knickers.

To make a long story short, after the expenditure of 13 Million dollars, 1200 man hours and several plugged toilets on the USS Boxer, Ladybird was rescued from her tormentors

Thank you Dr Freud

It appears more troops may be needed, Barby's problems seem to persist

A request has been made to THE US for a Carrier Group and Marine Expeditionary Force to protect her Hacienda. Also included will be British commandos and Sea Harriers to root out the banditos that inhabit her roof.

as for an Exorcist, Father Damien of Exorcist fame has been contatced

[BushBaby]

Originally Posted by KrackedKris

It appears more troops may be needed, Barby's problems seem to persist

A request has been made to THE US for a Carrier Group and Marine Expeditionary Force to protect her Hacienda. Also included will be British commandos and Sea Harriers to root out the banditos that inhabit her roof.

as for an Exorcist, Father Damien of Exorcist fame has been contatced

DAMN, that's more casualties as a result of friendly fire!!!! Sausage & mash across the brunch table can be so messy & inflicts far too much pain on the receiving casualty!! Perhaps we can get Nato or the UN involved before this goes too far!! - Grahame.