The Most Functional English Word
If I'm not mistaken the below was originally authored by the smartest man on the planet....George Carlin. At least he thinks he is.
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
Well, it's sh** ... that's right, sh**!
Sh** may just be the most functional word in the English language.
Consider:
You can get sh**-faced, Be sh**-out-of-luck, Or have sh** for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your sh** together, find a place
for your sh**, or be asked to sh** or get off the pot.
You can smoke sh**, buy sh**, sell sh**, lose sh**, find sh**, forget sh**, and tell others to eat sh**.
Some people know their sh**, while others can't tell the difference
between sh** and shineola.
There are lucky sh**s, dumb sh**s, and crazy sh**s. There is bull sh**,
horse sh**, and chicken sh**.
You can throw sh**, sling sh**, catch sh**, shoot the sh**, or duck when the sh** hits the fan.
You can give a sh** or serve sh** on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep sh** or be happier than a pig in sh**.
Some days are colder than sh**, some days are hotter than sh**, and some days are just plain sh**ty.
Some music sounds like sh**, things can look like sh**, and there are times when you feel like sh**.
You can have too much sh**, not enough sh**, the right sh**, the wrong sh** or a lot of weird sh**.
You can carry sh**, have a mountain of sh**, or find yourself up sh** creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to sh** and other times you fall in a bucket of sh** and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your sh**, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a sh**; or not do so if you don't give a sh**!
Well, Sh**, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a sh** and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of sh**. But,
if you happened to catch a load of sh** from some sh**-head..........
Well, Sh** Happens!!!
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