priorities

[paddy]

As we age, our priorities change . The other day I came home and was greeted by my wife, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So, I tied her up and went golfing.

[AtlantaBob]

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a Priest, said,I am a Father. The little boy replied, My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. The priest looked up from his book and answered, I am the Father of many. The boy said,My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way. The priest, getting impatient, said, I am the Father of hundreds, and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.

[AtlantaBob]

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a trade name and
a generic name. For example, the trade name Tylenol is
acetaminophen, Aleve is naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, and Advil
is ibuprophen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
After consideration by a team of experts, it recently announced it
has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also considered
were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix,
and of course ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. is making an announcement today that Viagra will soon
be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as
a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. Pepsi's proposed ad
campaign claims it will now be possible for a man to literally
pour himself a stiff one. Obviously, we can no longer call this a
soft drink. This addition of Viagra to Pepsi will give new meaning
to the terms "cocktails" and "highballs." Pepsi will market the
new drink by the name, "Mount & Do."

The long term implications of drugs and medical procedures must be
fully considered. Over the past five years, Americans have
spent more money on breast implants and Viagra than was spent on
Alzheimer's research. It is believed that by the year 2030, there
will be a large number of people wandering around with perky breasts and erections who can't remember what to do with them.