marriage
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
***
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
***
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
***
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
***
A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
***
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied,
"I don't know son, I'm still paying."
***
Young son:
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad:
"That happens in every country, son."
***
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
***
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence
***
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.
***
Just think, if it weren't for marriage,
men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
***
First guy:
"My wife's an angel!"
Second guy:
"You're lucky, mine's still alive."
***
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think (under delusions of grandeur) that they are attractive to the opposite sex.
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