remembering bob hope
ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill."
ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your
birthday suit needs pressing."
ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles
cost more than the cake."
ON TURNING 100 "I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel
anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING "I ruined my hands
in the ring ... the referee kept stepping on them."
ON SAILORS "They spend the first six days of each week
sowing their wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday
and pray for crop failure."
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR "Welcome to the Academy Awards
or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'."
ON GOLF "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to
pay the green fees."
ON PRESIDENTS "I have performed for 12 presidents and
entertained only six."
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER "When I was born,
the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have
an eight-pound ham.'"
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL "I feel very
humble, but I think I have the strength of character to
fight it."
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY "Four of us slept in the
one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting
for the bathroom."
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES " I would not have had anything to eat
if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."
ON GOING TO HEAVEN "I've done benefits for ALL religions.
I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."
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