atm instructions

[paddy]

>>
>>
>> A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
>> installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to
>> withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this
> new
>>facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
> accessing
>>their
>>accounts.
>>
>>
>> After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been
>> developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
>>
>> MALE PROCEDURE:
>>
>> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>> 2. Put down your car window.
>> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
>> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>> 6. Put window up.
>> 7. Drive off.
>>
>>
> ************************************************** *********************
>> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
>>
>> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
>> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window
> with
>>the
>> machine.
>> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
>> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
>>card.
>> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
>> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
>> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
> excessive
>>distance from the car.
>> 8. Insert card.
>> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
>> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
>>inside
>>back page.
>> 11. Enter PIN.
>> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
>> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
>> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
>> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
>> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
>>checkbook.
>> 18. Re-check makeup.
>> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
>> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
>> 21. Retrieve card.
>> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
> slot
>>provided.
>> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
>> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
>> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
>> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
>> 27. Release Parking Brake.
>