More "Laws"

[Ken]

First Law of Expert Advice: Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.

First Law of Laboratory Work: Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

First Rule of Superior Inferiority: Don't let your superiors know you're better than they are.

Frisch's Law: You cannot have a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

Fudd's First Law of Opposition: If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Tesler's Deviant to Fudd's Law: It goes in -- it must come out.

Gerrold's Law: A little ignorance can go a long way.

Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 1. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction. 2. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. 3. The energy required to change either one of the states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task totally impossible.

Gibb's Law: Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Ginsberg's Theorem (Generalized Laws of Thermodynamics): 1. You can't win. 2. You can't break even. 3. You can't even quit the game. Ehrman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem: 1. Things will get worse before they get better. 2. Who said things would get better? Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem. To wit: 1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

Glaser's Law: If it says �one size fits all,� it doesn't fit anyone.

Glyme's Formula for Success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Green's Law of Debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Haldane's Law: The Universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we CAN imagine.

Harris' Lament: All the good ones are taken.

Hart's Law: In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

Hellrung's Law: If you wait, it will go away. Shevelson's Extension: ... having done its damage. Grelb's Addition: ... if it was bad, it will be back.