All that Glitters.........
56 year old man named Bob was recently divorced and looking for something else to occupy his time and money (what little his ex-wife didn't take). A friend suggested that going on an extended vacation to the caribbean would be just the thing. So Bob went online to do a little research.
A certain island resort (name omitted here) caught his eye. It was an all adult nudist resort. Normally, Bob didn't go for such things. But he felt that it was time to live a little, and decided to check the place out. He called and spoke to the resort manager, a very friendly lady who finally convinced him to come down for a 3 week visit.
So Bob caught a flight on Caribe Airlines and the resort manager was waiting for him at the airport. She took him to the resort and gave him a short tour of the grounds. The first thing that Bob noticed was that everyone was, indeed, nude. And everyone seemed to be having a blast. So Bob went back to the resort office with the manager to make arrangements for his stay, and pay the $2,000 deposit.
After settling his things in his room, Bob shed his clothes and headed out to the pool in high spirits. He was reclining in a deck chair and sipping a mojito when a tall, young, statuesque, and stark naked sun-browned beauty bounced by chasing a beach ball. Seeing as he was also naked, Bob couldn't hide his growing appreciation of the young lady as she cavorted around in all of her glory. Eventually, she noticed Bob staring at her and casually walked over to where he was sitting. Meanwhile, Bob was mortified, as he now had a full erection that wouldn't go away. Oh well, he thought. There's no use in hiding it now. And it is a nudist resort after all.
The young lady sat down on the chair next to Bob, noticed his wood, and asked him 'Did you call me?' Totally confused, he replied 'No I didn't.' The girl then smiled at Bob and said 'I see that nobody explained the rules to you. Anytime that you have an erection, and some woman in the vicinity notices it, that means that you've called her.' She then spread a towel on the ground and laid down upon it, seductively motioning for Bob to join her. Well, being the red-blooded hetero man that he is, Bob quickly complied. What ensued was the best sex he'd had since before he got married. Afterwards, the girl got up without a word and went on about her business.
Bob was happy, but exhausted. After all, he wasn't a young man any more. And that girl was probably less that half his age. Still smiling, he decided to take advantage of the steam room and sauna. He was sitting there, relaxing in the luxurious steam, and thinking that he'd just made the best decision in his life. It was at that time that he felt the need to fart. After looking around the steam room to make sure that he was alone, he leaned to the side and let one rip.
Unfortunately, he was not alone in the steam room. Out of the steam emerged a huge, hairy gentleman with an enormous erection. He walked to the bench where Bob was sitting and asked 'Did you call me?' Horrified, Bob replied 'Hell no I didn't call for you. What the phuck do you want?' Unperturbed, and clearly aroused, the giant smiled at Bob and said 'I see that nobody explained the rules to you. When you fart out loud, and a man in the vicinity hears it, that means that you've called him.' He continued to smile pleasantly as he bent Bob, kicking and screaming, over the bench and tore his axx up! After he was done, the giant left without a word.
As soon as he could walk again, Bob limped back to his room. Needless to say, he was no longer happy. He packed up his things and stormed into the resort office to confront the manager. 'I am done with this crazy phucking resort! Here is your key! And you can keep the phucking deposit! I just want to get out of here as fast as I can!' Anxious to make amends the manager states 'Sir we are very sorry that you have not enjoyed your stay with us so far. Therefore, not only will we refund your deposit, we will also add two more weeks to your stay free of charge.' Bob stares at her like she is mad and says 'Lady, you don't understand. I am 56 years old. That means that I get an erection maybe once or twice a month, but I fart about 15 times a day!'
Vince.
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(19)
LOL
