This Doctor knows!!!!!
I love this Doctor !
>
> Q: I'v e heard that cardiovascular exercise can
> prolong life; is this
> true?
> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
> that's it... Don't
> waste them on exercise. Everything wears out
> eventually. Speeding up
> your heart will not make you live longer; that's
> like saying you can
> extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
> Want to live longer?
> Take a nap.
>
>
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
> vegetables?
> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does
> a cow eat? Hay and
> corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
> nothing more than an
> efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
> system. Need grain?
> Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
> grass (green leafy
> vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of
> your recommended daily
> allowance of vegetable products.
>
> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
> is distilled wine,
> that means they take the water out of the fruity bit
> so you get even
> more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out
> of grain. Bottoms
> up!
>
> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
> ratio is one to one.
> If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one,
> etc.
>
> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating
> in a regular
> exercise program?
> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
> is: No Pain...Good!
>
>
> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried
> these days in vegetable
> oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
> getting more vegetables
> be bad for you?
>
> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
> little soft around the
> middle?
> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
> gets bigger. You
> should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
> stomach.
>
> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another
> vegetable!!! It's the best
> feel-good food around!
>
> Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain
> whales to me.
>
> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
> A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>
> Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions
> you may have had
> about food and diets.
>
> And remember:
>
> 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
> intention of
> arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved
> body, but rather to
> skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand -
> chocolate in the other -
> body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
> screaming 'WOO HOO, What a
> Ride'
>
>
> AND.....
>
> For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the
> final word on
> nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the
> truth after all those
> conflicting nutritional studies.
>
> 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer
> heart attacks than
> Americans.
>
> 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer
> heart attacks than
> Americans.
>
> 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer
> fewer heart attacks
> than Americans.
>
> 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer
> fewer heart attacks
> than Americans.
>
> 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of
> sausages and fats
> and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
> CONCLUSION
>
> Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
> apparently what kills
> you.
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