Married Men .... and Dating ..... - Page 2

planner · #11 12-21-2005, 08:41 AM

As a single female dating here, I see the cheating all the time. I personally don't want to be the mistress.

My observations have been that the wife being cheated on usually knows what is going on. She will tolerate it as long as her needs are being met! She usuallly will not tolerate it being blatant, her ego has needs. She will usually tolerate it if her financial needs are being met, but if this changes or he spends more on the girlfriend then all hell can break loose.

I'd never want to be the mistress - I'm afraid of the wives!

Dragonfly32837 · #12 12-21-2005, 09:27 AM

Of course. Dominican men feel that if their wife at home is being taken care of the way that she is supposed to that he can go out and cheat. Just as long as he does not leave his wife for the mistress.

amy2761 · #13 12-21-2005, 09:48 AM

It seems it is fairly common for married men to cheat - we're all agreed on that one.

An observation: Dominican men do seem to 'parade' their girlfriends around their male friends or in 'safe' groups when the wife is not around ..... guys, is this a competition?!

Stay well,
Amy

Dragonfly32837 · #14 12-21-2005, 09:50 AM

I have never seen men parade their girlfriends around their male friends or so called safe group. I don't know if maybe we just hang out with different types of people.

AZB · #15 12-21-2005, 10:05 AM

Most respectable dominican men who are well known in their town are not going to parade around with a new flavor of the week. They usually take the girlfriend for a quick trip to a motel or visit her apartment. They usually go out of town if they want to spend a weekend together. there are plenty of secret hidden bars and restaurants in major cities where you can hide easily from everyone.
Now the chopo rich dominicans will parade around a young girlfriend all over town because her campo wife is never seen in public with him, accept grocery stores. I know a few guys for years and I have never met their wives, only the girlfriends. these guys don't care, if their wives find out, they will threaten to leave her. This shuts her up quickly.
AZB

laurapasinifan · #16 12-21-2005, 10:26 AM

I wont try to get in the married men cheat debate, its just too dynamic a subject to logically debate. But since the relationship of gringos and higher class dominican women intermingling was. I would address that. Becasue there has been such a proliferation of americans men that have come here to meet as many women as possible on their stay, it is a common belief that if a dominican woman is seen with a gringo , she most likely is of dubious character by default. I see this , and am conscious of it because I worry my gf gets that label. I see that some of the higher class women dont like to be seen in enviroments that are common with the women who seek out gringos. IE discos, bars, and similar places. Before i met my gf, I met some higher class women,( had money,) and even if they didnt speak their concern, thier body language and manner, and responses suggested they were uncomfortable in certain places with me.

I saw the transition in my gf as well. She may have been attracted to me for a variety of reasons early on, I cant say for sure. there wasnt much concern then( or I didnt notice it) then after we began dating seriously it cropped up some. the uncomfortable situations of being seen with an american. Now after 6 months she is back to not being bothered with it. I think because she doesnt care what others think now.

as far as infidelity, is there anyone that can say for sure the way it is all the time?...i doubt it. Many times it happens, because the main relationship is going south...not quite there yet, but the wandering starts, and the guilt is lessened. So it is cheating in reality, but not the long term type....

I am sure it is a way of life developed where you are raised and how, and by whom, and what you see growing up around you. I dont see how you can look yourself in the mirror every day, knowing you are lying each day. Lying to yourslef and to you spouse-gf, whatever. You are lying to your family and friends as well. But thats just the view from where I was raised. if you feel the need to cheat, be a man and part the relationship....yeah it may hurt and you may be out of poontang for a while. But its the right thing to do

bob

AZB · #17 12-21-2005, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laurapasinifan

I am sure it is a way of life developed where you are raised and how, and by whom, and what you see growing up around you. I dont see how you can look yourself in the mirror every day, knowing you are lying each day. Lying to yourslef and to you spouse-gf, whatever. You are lying to your family and friends as well. But thats just the view from where I was raised. if you feel the need to cheat, be a man and part the relationship....yeah it may hurt and you may be out of poontang for a while. But its the right thing to do
bob

This is very touching my friend, I have a big fat drop of tear coming from my left eye.
We are talking about DR, not north carolina.
The man only has to lie to his wife, or better yet, not tell her a thing (are you still lying?). I don't know what types of friends you guys hang with who can't keep your secret but usually the guys share all details with their friends if they are sleeping around with girls who are not worth leaving your family for. The cheating part is simply sports sex and nothing else. The man has fun with the younger girl and then he simply goes back to being the loving husband and loving daddy. No one gets hurt if they don't know whats going on outside your front door.
Usually the kids (boys) know about daddy's adventures and often times the dad/son team works in cooperation. I have seen many sons and dads going out and scoring with the local girls together. This is the latin culture so do what romans do. Now if you think like BOB who has been brainwashed by the women liberation rejected dykes then might as well move to kansas. no one thinks the way he has put it in words in latin america. Sure it sounds good on paper but even dominican women don't respect a man who is carrying his wife's purse around while she goes shopping.
Viva republica.,
AZB

laurapasinifan · #18 12-21-2005, 10:55 AM

". no one thinks the way he has put it in words in latin america"

thats the only thing that makes your point.

You put it in the context of YOUR life. I did say that it certainly could be different in the DR because of up bringing. I guess civilized society would frown upon your dissreguard for marriage. Ban to me to Kansas thats fine........I know i am this different creature than your used to huh?

that dont bother me. I dont care about being cool, I dont care about sprouting my machoism...it will show when its NEEDED believe me. I speak my mind, if it makes me look like a sissy, a murderer, a jerk...i dont care......i am comfortable being it, i am comfortable saying it. I listen to Andrea Bocelli, and Josh Groban, and Metalica... and i get looks and i dont care.

Just like I dont think you have drive a woman into the ground to prove your a man

bob

amy2761 · #19 12-21-2005, 11:05 AM

AZB - blunt as always, you got your point accross, it's not a serious thing here as long as the wife doesn't know.

To recap, taken from OP:
"How do Dominican women feel regarding infidelity in comparison to "Western" women?"

Is it fair to say that Dominican women are more tolerant when it comes to cheating? Seems like most of them know what's going on but as long as they're 'taken care of' then they let it slide. Most western women on the other hand are horrified at the thought and go balistic at the possibility that their man is cheating.

To recap, taken from OP:
"Is cheating (for women or men) acceptable in Dominican culture because it’s a common occurrence?"

From what I gather it looks as if it's expected from men, but the women that cheat are still 'under cover' and not spoken about/acknowledged as readily as the males? Or maybe that's my impression because I don't socialize with many women ...

More comments/observations?
Thanks for all the input.

Stay well,
Amy

Criss Colon · #20 12-21-2005, 11:13 AM

The "Lower Class" Thats about 90 Plus % of who we associate with here in the DR,because 90% of the population falls into this class! If you are a "Tourista" that is about 100% of the people you will associate with,simply because all the people in the "Service/"Hospitality" business are "Poor"!And 99% of the "Hookers",altho there are a few from "Good" families who "sell it", for thrills I guess!
Men don't "Cheat" because the "Steam" has gone out of a relationship,we cheat because "We Can"! We are biologically programmed to cheat! It,s "good" for the species! Mixes up the gene pool!Society and religion try to legislate,and pontificate to the contrary,but men want all the different "PU$$Y" they can get!! Add to that men who need multiple partners to re-assure their "Manhood"and we have "MOST MEN" cheating! And women not far behind,for the same reasons.
Dominican families will put on a Big Show,for each and every "Gringo" boyfriend the daughter,or son,brings home.They reap some of the "spoils" of these relationships.How many times have all of us called the house,only to have the mother,father,sister,brother,say that our "True Love" is at the "Colmado"? Why is a "Celular" the first
gift they all ask for?? You figure it bout!! CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC