Dominican "secret" to happiness?

[Baracutay]

Originally Posted by Chip

II already have two very good friends here in the DR which is more than twice that I had when I lived in the States. I don't think Dominican guys are so self conscious about being "approached" by a gay guy that they put up some kind of front. For this reason I must already have like 10 acquaintainces that I could call up and go over their house to have a cold one or two. I also don't think that the real beauties here(there are thousands of them mind you) feel like they are waisting their time having a polite if somewhat frivolous conversation with a ugly sad sack like me.
.

Hey there Chip!
Two things:
(1) yes we are a very warm and friendly people,its only when we live abroad that we seem to lose our minds........!

(2) From previous where we both submitted pictures it was clear that next to me you look like Brad Pit!

Chip I will be calling you this week to give you some updates.
All the best
baracutei

[Chip]

Originally Posted by montreal

Woohooo! ; )
Is it hot in here?

Ok I'm blushing. However, you haven't seen me in person and obviously I'll only post the best looking photos of me. Fact is, when I was growing up I must have been been rejected more times than the humback of Notre Dame. I've had girls hang up on the phone in mid conversation, completely ignore me when asked if they would like to dance and otherwise ignore me for most of my adult life.

[Rocky]

Originally Posted by Chip

Ok I'm blushing. However, you haven't seen me in person and obviously I'll only post the best looking photos of me. Fact is, when I was growing up I must have been been rejected more times than the humback of Notre Dame. I've had girls hang up on the phone in mid conversation, completely ignore me when asked if they would like to dance and otherwise ignore me for most of my adult life.

If it's an ugly contest you want, I'm in.
I bet my uglies can beat yours, any day.
When I go diving, the sharks swim away.

[Chip]

I've been thinking why is it that Dominicans and Europeans/Americans on the most part differ with respect to friendliness, and I think it must have to do with trust.

I think most Dominicans trust that in informal situations that the other person will not show aggression and behave in a respectable manner. This gives the "greeter" confidence that they won't be "shown up" or ridiculed in front of others.

On the other hand Europeans/Americans seem to have an uneasy time with respect to meeting with strangers with an underlying tension whether based in something sexual or certain readiness to "defend" oneself, either by words or physical means.

When you get down to it the Dominicans "method" is certainly superior and more advanced culturally IMO. I base this on the opinion that with regard to cultural aspects such as this, the ultimate form of said aspects would be one where it embodies the application of the "Golden Rule".

What is interesting is that it could be said that because the Northen Europeans are more primitive in this aspect of social interaction that they have had by necessity to create more laws to compensate for their lack of initial "trust" in strangers. By the same token, therefore one could postualte that Dominicans, because of initial ability to trust strangers, have therefore not had the necessity to implement complicated laws like the Northern Europeans in order to keep the "peace".

An example of this in practice would be the interaction betweeen family members. Typically, family members establish "rules" if you will based on verbal agreement and trust where each party believes and knows that the other family members will not make decisions or take actions to compromise or hurt them. If you apply this to a societal level, it could be postualted that this is the reason that some societies characterized by this type of "familial" social aspect have "lagged" with respect to Northern European types societies with regard to creating complex legal systems. Simply put the Dominicans have not had the pressing need to create similar complex legal systems that characterizes the Northern European societies as it functions more or less closer to the "honor sytem" type of social interaction.

The odd thing is that it would seem to be apparent that there are some distinct advantages of the Northern European type of system. One it keeps people "honest" because they fear retribution but a positive side effect is that people more or less have confidence that the other person will be responsible with respect to their social responsiblities because of this manmade "accountability", ie laws.

However, this type of "system" has it's limitations - basically to what can be "governed" by law. Since for the most part laws don't necessarily dictate (as of yet anyway) norms social interaction (ie how to greet somebody) therefore people are not held accountable for their actions, more or less, in Northern European systems and therefore, becasue of this inherent lack of structure, lack confidence that "strangers" will act in a respectable manner(because they don't have to).

The Dominican system is quitre different of course and obviously has it's advantages as is apparent. There are some obvious disadvantages to this type of system as most would already suspect. Obviously, with a "familial/honor" type of system there is felt less of a need to have complicated legal systems like that of the Northern European and therefore laws aren't as strong. However, such a system will be more readily open to abuse as there are fewer "checks" in place to keep people honest, as is readily apparent here in the DR with the amount of corruption with respect to abuse of public monies.

The next question is how do we take the best from both and is it even possible? Modern societies have learned over the centuries from the previous societies for instance the Persians, Greeks, Romans, etc and I don't see why we shouldn't expect it to continue to evolve. How to put it into practice would be intersting to say the least. All I know is it that the DR could be one of the better places to live on this planet if they could have some leaders who wouldn't abuse he system so much. No how do we get the people to change their way of thinking to propose laws that actually can be enforced without getting rid of their socially superior ability to trust?

[Rocky]

All change has it's price.
The more we develop in the DR, the more we will be like the rest of the world, and it won't be as nice and charming as it is now.
Progress has it's downside, like the guy said, "Careful what you wish for".

BTW: Good post.

[shadInToronto]

I agree Chip, you're definitely ugly, but don't take it personal, I think all men are ugly.

I also agree Dominicans are warm and friendly and they will talk to you wherever you are - in line at the supermarket, waiting for a taxi, walking on the street or along the melacon, etc. But, I'm always wary that there's an ulterior motive and so I'm guarded with my interaction and 'friendship'.

[aimelove]

I also agree that the post was well done by Chip. The future of the Dominican Republic is in my thoughts often because I plan on buying a home, retiring/dying there. When I see more traffic signals, when I see a modern public transportation system being built (slowly) on Maximo Gomez, when I see McDonald's, Pizza Hut and Burger King (I do not like those places to eat, but it is a symbol of change), I see the attempt to modernize. When I started working for the airlines in the late 90's, I was in the rare position to travel anywhere my airline flew for free when I wasn't working. All of my coworkers liked bringing native born Americans like me with them to their home country on our days off to show where they were from. Europe was too far away to do in two nights, you could only go there on vacation, so Peurto Rico and DR was visited more often. San Juan reminded me too much of the US. DR was new fun and exciting. Although I have been all over the country many times, I still feel that excitement getting off the plane when I feel the humidity stepping off the plane and see the Brugal counter near immigration and the line of people waiting for their family and loved ones at the exit. I enjoy most of the charming things that were alluded to in that post. I moved into a new field, and I still travel there often, even though I pay full price for my tickets now. I initially considered retiring there under the premise that it is going to remain pretty much like it is now. That is highly unlikely. Societies change, but like the previous post describes, this change could be a model for the rest of the world. My suggestion from the outside looking in: less emphasis on western style malls and restaurants and more emphasis on creating a tax base to improve the infrastructure and public services.

[Baracutay]

Originally Posted by aimelove

My suggestion from the outside looking in: less emphasis on western style malls and restaurants and more emphasis on creating a tax base to improve the infrastructure and public services.

I agree with this opinioon as well.I tavel to Puertop Rico even more than I do to the DR and I am appalled at how westernized the island has become. Hopefully the DR will continue to grow, but at its own pace and without losing its cultural integrity.
About Chip being Ugly (lol) nah Chip, just look at my picture when \ever youre feeling ugly and I assure you, you will feel better about yourself instantly!
All the best
Baracutei

[montreal]

Originally Posted by Chip

Ok I'm blushing. However, you haven't seen me in person and obviously I'll only post the best looking photos of me. Fact is, when I was growing up I must have been been rejected more times than the humback of Notre Dame. I've had girls hang up on the phone in mid conversation, completely ignore me when asked if they would like to dance and otherwise ignore me for most of my adult life.

I do have that effect on men

[jrf]

You had me at "Western Union"