Dominican "secret" to happiness?

[Chip]

I my experience away from the tourist areas here in Cibao, I have made the observation that inspite of all the problems they have here, Dominicans generally seem happier even though they have less material wealth. Dominicans are much more socially open that say Americans or Europeans this based on my experience as an American and my somewhat extensive travelling in Europe.

For example, I find it much more easier here in the DR to make casual acquaintances that in the States or Europe. Here in the DR I can greet perfect strangers and start up a conversation with a smile and Dominicans generally respond quite well whereas in the States or Europe if I tried to start up a conversation with a unknown fellow more than likely I would be seen as "odd" at best but more than likely as "gay".

If it was a women in the States or Europe, it may seem as an intent to be promiscuous and depending on how pretty she thought she was compared to me she may not even respond or a minimal response as possible - this I know becasue it has happened to me(hell I'm ugly what can I say).

Also, if I were to greet a small unknown child in the street in the States at least one would be labled as a potential child molester. In the DR you are looked at as odd if you have a cold heart for children.

I'm curious to know what is happening to the Western countries? My mother said when she grew up in the US in the 40's everybody knew their neighbor. Where I grew up as we became older more and more neighbors to their very best to avoid one another. Where we lived for 4 years in Orlando we were friends with only one couple across the street and the others were basically unknown. Here in the Dr I know all of my neighbors and if I'm feeling like a need to a little gibber jabber to brighten my day well I'll just step out of the house and find a neighbor to chat with. Guess what, here if a neighbor sees you coming they won't run inside or try to pretend that they don't see you. Maybe it has to do with something that the US has a severe problem with deviant behaviour and thus people have adjusted. In fact I searched a list of registered sex offenders within 5 miles of my house and there were over 300, quite scary.

I already have two very good friends here in the DR which is more than twice that I had when I lived in the States. I don't think Dominican guys are so self conscious about being "approached" by a gay guy that they put up some kind of front. For this reason I must already have like 10 acquaintainces that I could call up and go over their house to have a cold one or two. I also don't think that the real beauties here(there are thousands of them mind you) feel like they are waisting their time having a polite if somewhat frivolous conversation with a ugly sad sack like me.

I grew up in the Deep South, Charleston SC, where supposedly genteelness reigns. In fact it was voted as the friendliest City in the US at some point. However, I can tell you it is not even in the same league as Cibao. I don't understand why things are like they are with respect to valuing genteelness and the family so much but I sure hope it never changes. Maybe this is why Dominicans don't seem to get to riled about all the goings on around them, heck when they can just step out of the house and invite the neighbor over for a bite and a cold one and a good conversation about baseball.

[Rocky]

I'm afraid that Nals is sharpening his pencil and is about to bore us with a 20 paragraph dissertation on the woes of US culture and upbringing, so before this turns into a debate the size of Pico Duarte, let me say that I like and concur with your observations.
That is the big bonus of living here.
We should consider ourselves lucky that the rest of the world has not caught on as to how wonderful it is here, and we should hope and pray that the DR does not change quickly and lose it's magic & charm.

[suarezn]

Hey Chip didn't know you were from Charleston. I just spent a week down there with my wife. Great place...

Anyhow, I think you're mostly correct in you statement above. I do think that some of it has to do with how large the city is. For instance I think the same thing that happened to you in Orlando could happen in Santo Domingo, where you could live in a house for years and not know your neighbors.

Good or bad, I think Dominicans still have a certain amount of naivety and you just don't think that this guy wanting to converse with me might just be gay. The US culture has become jaded, probably mostly due to the Media just sensationalizing every case. I don't think in general American are any more or less devious than Dominicans (some people will probably say the opposite is true) but every time there's a child abduction or a pedophile is all over the media for days or months at a time and it's all you hear about, thus it creates in a you a certain amount of mistrust of other people.

[Hillbilly]

I can certainly relate to what Chip wrote: He is ugly!!

Sorry Chip, could not resist.

However, the body of his post and of his take on things Dominican is what makes this place so attractive to people from Europe or North America (north of the Río Grande).

Well said Chip.

HB

[Steve Pindar]

I agree with HB - great post Chip.

I am American, but also have been living in San Pedro de Macoris for the past 10 years, where my wife, myself and our children do mission work and provide humanitarian aid.

It's my opinion that Dominicans are the most resilient people I have ever met. I also agree with Chip's comments about how friendly they are. All someone has to do is sit at JFK waiting for a flight to the DR to see this. The few Americans on the flight keep to themselves, while the Dominicans, most of whom didn't know each other before they arrived at the gate, are all chatting and laughing. Just to see what reaction I would get, I have tried the "Dominican approach" while waiting to board the plane. The Dominicans greeted me with friendliness, while most of the non-Dominicans were wary of me, to say the least.

[A.Hidalgo]

Great to see a positive story about the warmness of the Dominican people. Whenever I visit Santiago and stay at my mom's home all the neighbors treat me as if I have been living there for years. Friendliness not found in New York.
Btw what do the females DR1 members think of Chip's looks.

[montreal]

Btw what do the females DR1 members think of Chip's looks.

Woohooo! ; )
Is it hot in here?

[Alyonka]

This is an interesting thread. I don't think Chip is ugly. I agree that people are not nearly as warm in the US or anywhere in the world as in the DR (I heard the same about Costa Rica as well). Of course, sometimes they are really nice and friendly to you for all the wrong reasons, but I did talk to a lot of really nice, open, warm and friendly people in the Dominican Republic who were just that - nice, open and friendly. People in Europe (I am more familiar with Eastern European culture) can be also very warm, nice, friendly and generous but only if they know you. To stranger - not really because it can be dangerous sometimes. In the US - people are so busy, they don't have time for just socializing. Every time someone is being nice to me - I start thinking - they are going to try to sell something to me

[aimelove]

I live in the Bronx area of New York in an apartment that has 5 other families living in it other than my own. About 4 months ago I had something awkward happen to me. I was catching a bus to Manhattan from my neighborhood and this lady was staring at me at the bus stop. New York is full of mentally ill people. When you take the bait and begin talking to a stranger, alot of times you regret it because you are subjected to hearing every weird and sordid detail of someone's life story or because its a panhandling trick. I continued listening to my mp3 player and tried to keep my eyes off the lady ( honestly if she was a little better looking I probably would have tried harder to strike up a conversation). On the bus ride it dawned on me that the lady was my neighbor who has lived in my building about as long I have (7 years). My building doesn't have that many people living in it. I am friendly by nature, but I don't talk to strangers in the street, guess its a product of my upbringing. Many dominicans in Santo Domingo will board a dingy crowded bus and loudly say "saludo" to everyone on the bus. Murphy's law being what it is, I recognize that lady much more than I did before around the house and the neighborhood, and she avoids eye contact with me now. I ruined a chance to get closer to one of my neighbors because I followed the cultural norms of New York instead of D R. She's as guilty as I am because she refused to make the first move. Yeah, its different here.

[drloca]

My theory.....warm country = warm people