First Dominican U.S. President

[Trivalent]

Top Ten changes in the White House after the first Dominican-American becomes President

10. The Secret Service quits after they get tired of the President shutting of all the power to the building at random times in the middle of the night. The President’s response “It just doesn’t seem like home without it, me hace falta mi apagones”

9. Visiting Foreign Diplomats quickly learn how to read their standing with the U.S. by how many different types of meat was included in their sancocho at the official state dinners. Many out of favor diplomats could be heard grumbling “el mio no tenia ni platano, solamente era caldo”

8. Continuing the tradition of adding to the White House grounds, the new President commissions a new Presidential Car Wash on the south lawn complete with a Disco, Bar and a Pica Pollo.

7. Air Force One pilots quit after the President refuses to stop his annoying habit of clapping loudly and screaming “Gracias a Dios” every time the plane lands.

6. Because of point 7, the President is forced to commission a new vehicle, “MotoConcho One”, a three seater, 80cc Motorcycle with a side-car. After being told that the vehicle could hold four, the President was heard saying, “Que cuatro ni cuatro, ahi caben por los menos siete bien colocao”

5. The practice of screening new release movies in the White House theatre was discontinued after the president kept annoying all of his guest by talking throughout the movie and shouting things like “Cuidado, esta atras de esa puerta!” during suspenseful scenes.

4. Secretary of State Colin Powell resigns after he is removed as lead singer and relegated to playing el guiro in the White House merengue band.

3. Budget meeting take three times as long when the President insists all figures be multiplied by 17.15 and could be heard exclaiming “el diablo, cuanto cualto!” everytime a budget item was read to him.

2. WWIII almost starts when the French president accuses the President of cheating during the annual heads of state dominoes game.

1. Every time a major decision has to be made, the President has to fly down to Santo Domingo and confer with 120-year-old former Dominican President Balaguer.

[mondongo]

One of the funniest lists i've seen....Motoconcho One cracked me up...

[Jane J.]

Okay, *that* was the funniest thing I've ever read...

Trivalent, did you write those?

[Pib]

After holding the 2001 Post of the Year Award (according to HB it is given to the funniest post not deleted by Rob) I am honored to pass it on to you. That was mighty funny.

[mkohn]

ditto
I think I liked the motoconcho one the best too!

[Hillbilly]

Definately a major candidate

Great and funny, very, very funny post.

Wonderful sense of humor..

HB, still grinning!

[Musicqueen]

...and change my underwear...I can't stop laughing!!!

But if you really think about it...we could really use someone like him around here sometimes!!!

Thanks, Trivalent...

[AnnaC]

Good one Travalent! I couldn't stop laughing over the car wash on the south lawn. Too funny.

[Criss Colon]

Chickens everywhere,"Christmas Lights" up all year,garbage piled in the street."Pasteles in hojas" sign on "Guard House","Tinacos" on the roof,"Buscones" "hanging out" everywhere. "La Bandera"served at State Dinners,and seven days a week!"Jugoes con Leche Carnation" 24/7 CC

[El Jefe]

Tear up the Rose Garden, now the official "Presidential Hibiscus Grove"