Is Chris Colon right or wrong?

Isaac Green · #1 02-28-2002, 01:08 PM

Chris,

To me you are the great guru of the Dominican
experience however I have a question that I do not
entirely have the answer to.

We have all seen the desperate situation of some of the Dominican people but specifically lets take the following issue.

A Gringo seeking out a Dominicanita to join him in the States. I have heard your beliefs over and over again on the likelyhood of why such unions would likely fail. Does not the Dominicanita realize that her presence in the States will
automatically translate into an immediate and
positive impact on the family that she has left
in the Republica?

Also how do you account for the scores of Dominicanitas on a multitude of websites willing to relocate to the States in some cases literally
right away.

Chris I think that you offer a generalization that
may or may not be true but I am willing to find out. You see for those of us who have sincere
intentions for that special Dominicanita it's just not good enough to accept the concept of enjoy the
wine but leave the vine. This does not work for
me that statement would seem to suggest that so long as you are in the DR you may enjoy the fruit
but that if you intend to leave with that fruit it will suddenly turn sour.

I for know that when I was in Santiago last month
their were several Dominicanitas willing to return
with me to the States my intention was to see one
Dominicanita that I had corresponded with for a while and therfore I was not really interested in the others remember I want one and only one special Dominicanita.

Also my final point is this Chris how do you account for the large number of exploitation
cases involving Dominican woman worldwide? I think
that Dominican woman are far more willing to try
a different geographical location than you may think.

I will not be deterred in my quest to find a Dominican woman who is willing to join me in the States because I am afraid that she will not adapt, any woman able to adapt to the daily hardships of life in the DR is surely able to adapt to a life made far less complicated by living in the States.

Chris you are still the greatest mind on this site give me your thoughts on my above observations.

Thanks, Bud the Presidente is on me
when I next return to Santiago sometime during the
month of March.

Marc · #2 02-28-2002, 01:46 PM

You have assumed that the "heart" and "soul" of the women you are referring to are somehow physically attached to their bodies.

Better check that assumption.

marc

Criss Colon · #3 02-28-2002, 01:53 PM

I am sure that there are thousands of happy "Dominican-American" and "Dominican-?,couples living in countries all over "Gods-Green-Earth",and I hope you can become like them. I only wish to point out some very common pitfalls when you are entering into a Bi-Cultural,often Bi-racial relationship. My American friend says that everything is "Speeded-Up" in the Dominican Republic. You meet someone, fall inlove,become "intimate,have a fight,break up,all in the same day!Maybe because we are here on "vacation"and have only 14 days to do everything! Don,t rush my friend! 50 year old men start to act like teenage boys. We are "In-Heat",not "In-Love"! If it is real it will last! Now,I once made a bet with a friend in Boston that I could dial any Telephone # in the DR.(I dialed at random) ask if there was anyone in the house that would like to come to "Nueba Jork" and that I would get only positive responses. It "worked" everytime! (Even Hipolito Mejia said Yes!) I had to remind him that he has 3 more years as President! He said he would give that up if he could get his "Green Card"! It,s like,when the ship is sinking,you don,t care which "Lifeboat" you climb into to save your life! Once you are safe ashore the "Lifeboat" looses it,s appeal. There was a popular song here a few years ago that goes' "La Dominicana es una Fruta,que me gusta,que me gusta"! Remember the Dominicana "Needs" su Familia,just as the "Fruta" needs the Tree! I wish you well.I must caution you that you come across as "desperate" to find your "True-Love" and this can leave you extremely vulnerable to be taken advantage of by a "Tigerona"! Slow doooooownnnnnnn! I once had one of my many "Ex-True-Loves"call me (Collect) from Italy. "Tomas,come and get me"! I married an Italiano because he told me he earned "Millions" of Lira every year!" "Tomas,you can,t buy "Mierda" for one million Lira!" Thomas,I still love you!" She now works in a "Bra Factory" in Milano,and is a "Millionair" too(In Lira!)CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCPS,I almost forgot your "original" question, "Criss Colon" is "Right" of course! I am,afterall,.."A Legend in my own mind"!(I like this "edit" thing)

AnnaC · #4 02-28-2002, 01:57 PM

Isaac, you have to understand that Dominicans have very very strong famliy ties. Keep in mind that when you marry one, you marry the whole family. Every situation is different and it's up to you to find out what exactly that will mean with the girl you choose. Good luck and follow your heart but keep your ears open

El Jefe · #5 02-28-2002, 02:07 PM

that many Domincans as other nationalities have an inflated view of the US and are willing to marry to get to Paradise. Then they and their husbands get to the States and they learn that it is not the paradise they saw in a movie or that there's not as much money as they thought there would be.

If they are willing to marry you and live in the DR, then you might have a real love. Then you can bring them back. Just make sure they have a way to be with the family, by visits or phone. It will not be cheap.

Jane J. · #6 02-28-2002, 02:47 PM

Originally posted by Isaac Green:

Quote:

Does not the Dominicanita realize that her presence in the States will automatically translate into an immediate and positive impact on the family that she has left in the Republica?

Realize it?? Unless the girls you've been hanging out with are under the age of 12, or suffer from some sort of mental challenge, I think that "positive impact" to which you refer may be her sole motivation...

Quote:

I will not be deterred in my quest to find a Dominican woman who is willing to join me in the States...

Dude, you are not going to have any problems WHATSOEVER finding a girl to bring home, because it sounds like you're not going to be too choosy. You're not looking for love, you're looking for female companionship. Why she has to be Dominican remains a mystery...

And what about this poor girl? If she enters into this *agreement* with you, what makes you think that your version of the Good Life is fair compensation to her for her lost youth, her isolation from her family, the performance of her, ahem, *wifely duties*, etc.?

Do you know how many cases I've seen of men and women who go off with foreigners for the betterment of their financial situations, only to find that worldly comforts do not guarantee happiness? MARRIED women go off with gringos to improve their family's situation with the full consent of their husbands for goodness sake. But just as in that movie Indecent Proposal (you know, with Demi Moore & Robert Redford?) these things never seem to have happy endings.

I can understand how someone's judgement may be clouded by hunger and abject poverty. But your's seems to be clouded by pure selfishness. And shouldn't you find the girl *before* making all these plans? You speak as though all "Dominicanitas" were interchangeable...like cattle, or something...

AZB · #7 02-28-2002, 05:11 PM

Here is an example (or I should say 2 examples):
two sisters went to NYC to live with their new husbands. They used fake passports of dominican girls with similar facial features. To my surprise, they both passed through US immigration with other people's passports (in times like these...especially after 9/11 security screenings).
Both ended up in NYC upper manahattan to live in small tiny apartments in abject cold climate.
To make to long story short, they both have come back this month and now have chosen to live in santiago again. Their husbands have decided to rent them apartments and they would visit them every once in a while. Of course, the money will be sent on monthly bases to pay for everything.
One of the girls have already visited my friend and have slept with him the same day while her husband is still here. The other has contacted me via her sister to investigate the where-abouts of a friend that I was supposed to introduce to her before she went away to NYC.
What I am trying to say is that now these girls have a great setup to their advantage; their hubbies work and send them money on monthly bases and they keep their jobless chulos happy by spending the money on them. In their case, now they have the money to go out bar hopping and meeting more interesting guys while the hubbies break their rear ends to support them and only to hope to spend a week out of every six months with their young dominicanitas.
Issac, my words are like venom to your streaming hopes but I must say, slowdown and take your time. Don't neglect the negativity that comes more randomly than the positivity.
Why do you think i am not married here in DR?

AnnaC · #8 02-28-2002, 06:10 PM

The fustrating thing about life's lessons is that everyone has to experience them for themselves. Like telling a child " the stove is hot" you can only pray that he doesn't get too burnt when he goes to find out for himself.

mkohn · #9 02-28-2002, 06:31 PM

Generally, it's easier for Americans to "up and relocate" because we don't have a strong sense of extended family. Most families in Latin American do have extended families. Even cousins are primos hermanos... In many places it's very common to move away because you or your spouse gets a great job offer. Taking a woman away from her support system (mom, abuela, hermana, etc.) can be a problem. She becomes very home sick. Now, make that a Dominicanita, who moves "a world away" from home. She may not know English. You may be the only person she knows, and unless she learns American survival skills, she will be very unhappy and long for the DR. How many Americans, after one visit, long for the DR????? Add in strange customs, weather conditions, screaming children if you have them, isolation, and you've got a problem.
If you find a Dominicana who looks forward to big changes, offer her ways to grow in Nueba Yol or any place, make sure she has the opportunity to study English. Maybe get more education, become involved in the community, get a job, whatever would help her to fit in to the American lifestyle that she has now adopted. Let her see that there is more to America than your flat, the grocery store and laundromat (where everybody speaks funny).
Remember to take her home to see her family, as often as Americans are accustomed to... Every 3 day weekend, holidays, vacations, are the times Americans have "gone home" for a visit! And get ready for a big phone bill. It will be a long time before her family can come here. Not due to lack of desire, but Immigration rules.
I apologize for the length of this post. It's a complex situation of which I have some experience. Ask the ex-Pats. They have "a place to live, something to do, and someone to love." ... well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad

well, they're lookin'.
One last thing, as Juan Luis Guerra's CD explodes on to my CD player, learn how to dance with her, and take her out papi!

trina · #10 02-28-2002, 06:39 PM

Besides, shouldn't you be looking for love? Sounds like your looking for a trophy, not someone who you're about to create a bond with for the rest of your life. Be careful what you wish for...

I love my husband with all my heart, he is a Dominican who moved to Canada to be with me. However, the transition was not easy. I haven't talked to anyone who is married to a Dominican who hasn't had problems with the transition because things are much different here. I am not categorizing, if you were to take anyone out of their home country and put them in another country much different than their own, there are going to be problems. And if you are only looking to marry a Dominican because you are looking for a beautiful person to be with, it will never last. If you don't have love, then there's nothing to work you through your problems.