Everyone thnks they are different

[A.Hidalgo]

Originally Posted by Lambada

Nothing. It is often called 'survival of the fittest'. She might be asking 'what is wrong with you that you didn't see the score right from the start?'
Is that the bit that hurts the most, that of your self image that you weren't on the ball enough to spot this?

I won't give you sympathy or even empathy because although it may be what you want it may not be what you need. I will hope that you are capable of learning. About yourself, that is. The learning about some of the things that go on here will not help you much unless you understand why you allowed yourself to get into this position.

But I will wish you well for the future.

Great advise could not have said it any better. Knowing yourselve is so important in life. I wish you the best, you got a new lease in life.

[BushBaby]

Likewise No sympathy from me ................ just DELIGHT for your present circumstances!!

Many have been the same route as you - & there are many more yet to come! Learn by this & use that experience for the one you will choose to live with at some future stage. Being clever it will be a LONG way down the line that you commit something to legal papers unless it is all tied up by pre-nuptual agreements!! Do that for "Living with" partner too as six months of living with someone down here will put you in the "Married" legal framework!

All good wishes & be happy in yourself! ~ Grahame.

[MommC]

What was a dream to you , was a job for her - plain and simple.
You were the paycheque that was going to provide for her, her children by other fathers and her current 'boyfriend'.

Dominicans are very jealous people - between themselves. Foreigners don't count because they are just employers who provide the paycheque!
This is a way of life (or survival of the fittest) for many Dominicans.

Too bad more men and women 'in love' with a dream don't heed our sage advice!

[Steve Costa Azul]

Originally Posted by Lambada

Nothing. It is often called 'survival of the fittest'. She might be asking 'what is wrong with you that you didn't see the score right from the start?'
Is that the bit that hurts the most, that of your self image that you weren't on the ball enough to spot this?

I won't give you sympathy or even empathy because although it may be what you want it may not be what you need. I will hope that you are capable of learning. About yourself, that is. The learning about some of the things that go on here will not help you much unless you understand why you allowed yourself to get into this position.

But I will wish you well for the future.

Lambada
Way too harsh on someone you probably have never met! I feel for the guy just because of how much it must sting and how badly he misjudged her. Tough pill to swallow. We all learn from our life rewards and mistakes. It is much easier to live with the smarter choices though.
Stay strong, I'm sorry you had to go through this.
Steve

[CFA123]

I feel for the poster as well. Any time you generously give your heart to someone and they take advantage of it - it hurts tremendously.

With that said, I tend to believe that if someone in your home country wouldn't give you the time of day (younger, gorgeous, or whatever) - then you're kidding yourself that there's much real love when you find someone like that in another country who falls for you. Especially if it happens virtually overnight.

Sure, it could evolve into love over time... but anything that happens quickly is suspect and likely there are other motivations behind the relationship.

I've seen it happen repeatedly in DR. It's almost like a spectator sport.

[Lambada]

Originally Posted by Steve Costa Azul

Lambada Way too harsh on someone you probably have never met!

You are entitled to your opinion. I would be more concerned that the poster helps himself by looking at himself rather than externalising the problem into 'what is wrong with these people?' That way hopefully he can move on, learn from the situation and not repeat the error, either here in DR or elsewhere. There would have been signs that all was not what it appeared to be. The poster needs to discover why he didn't/couldn't see them. He has work to do on himself right now. He certainly doesn't need to tell us about it, but he does need to do it. Sometimes a 'harsh' word can get people started.

[Steve Costa Azul]

Originally Posted by Rocky

You jusy took a big hit, and I feel for ya.
Just remember that you didn't lose your wife, you lost a dream.
She was never really your wife.
It was just make believe, and all the love you felt, was for the dream of what you thought she was.
Don't know if I'm explaining this right, but if you can get yourself to perceive the situation in a different way, it won't sting as much, nor for so long.
Losing something that was no good in the first place, even if you thought it was, is nowhere near as bad as losing something truly valuable.
And the big bonus is that you found out before you got raked.

Rocky
Do you ever mess up in what you state here in the DR1? As usual, your post here is perfect. Well done! I hope the OP gets over this soon and absorbs your wise words.
Steve

[Rocky]

Originally Posted by CFA123

With that said, I tend to believe that if someone in your home country wouldn't give you the time of day (younger, gorgeous, or whatever) - then you're kidding yourself that there's much real love when you find someone like that in another country who falls for you. Especially if it happens virtually overnight.

Sure, it could evolve into love over time... but anything that happens quickly is suspect and likely there are other motivations behind the relationship.

I've seen it happen repeatedly in DR. It's almost like a spectator sport.

This should be THE sticky. Short & sweet, and so very true.

[Rocky]

Originally Posted by Steve Costa Azul

Rocky
Do you ever mess up in what you state here in the DR1?

I step in doodoo way too frequently.
The mods have saved me from myself, countless times.

[Berzin]

Originally Posted by CFA123

I feel for the poster as well. Any time you generously give your heart to someone and they take advantage of it - it hurts tremendously.

With that said, I tend to believe that if someone in your home country wouldn't give you the time of day (younger, gorgeous, or whatever) - then you're kidding yourself that there's much real love when you find someone like that in another country who falls for you. Especially if it happens virtually overnight.

Sure, it could evolve into love over time... but anything that happens quickly is suspect and likely there are other motivations behind the relationship.

I've seen it happen repeatedly in DR. It's almost like a spectator sport.

Let us use the US as an example. There are many circumstances that play into relationships that are simply not in favor of a man who has been cursed with the label of "average"-

1) Not great-looking, but not a total beast.

2) Makes decent money, but not enough to buy the girl of his dreams champagne wishes and caviar dreams.

Women, regardless of income, do not respect men who make less than they do. This was in an article in New Yorker magazine a while back and they were talking about the cream of New York City society-real estate brokers, bankers, lawyers, etc.

My point in all this is that people who make salaries along the lines of city employees like teachers, cops and firemen can be great husbands and providers. But how are they seen to the average up-and-coming career woman? They do not rate too highly, I can assure you.

More and more of these guys are taking trips to countries like the DR not just as sex tourists but because they feel they cannot find a loving, respectful mate back home due to the circumstances I just mentioned.

This is the reason they cannot find someone in their home country, more often than not. And as corny as it may sound, there are alot of men out there who sincerely want to fall in love for the right reasons.

Love is not love anymore, at least in the traditional sense. But what I can't understand is how dominican women let dominican men treat them like garbage yet are so callous when dealing with a foriegner who shows genuine interest in wanting to marry them and love them. Beats the hell out of me.

I am not saying that the original poster can be described as "average" as I interpret it but I just wanted to expand on your point of someone who does'nt do well with the ladies back home not being able to find love in the DR. There are many reasons why guys get knocked over by girls in the US that have nothing to do with the mans' qualities. So it is never as clear-cut as what some people may assume.