parental responsibility...where do i stand?

sarita · #1 03-29-2009, 10:12 PM

ok so here goes... i have 2 children by my ex husband who is dominican. the oldest is 4 next month and the youngest is 2 in june. we are living in the dominican have been since july and he is in england fighting to stay on the grounds that his children are british and live there even though they dont anymore. hes had no contact with them since youngest was 6wks old and before that he was just seeing them cos he thought it would help him to be able to stay in england. is there anyway in which i can relieve him of parental responsiblity? hes had nothing to do with them for almost 2 years and they dont know or remember him, however he will not give it up willingly as he thinks they can help him to stay in england. also am i able to change their surname without his consent? at the moment it is double barrelled but id like them to have just mine. any advise is welcome please. thanks xxx

sarita · #2 03-31-2009, 04:51 PM

anyone please ?

Hillbilly · #3 03-31-2009, 05:19 PM

Well I do not think you can erase the name....He is the father, after all.
With the double barreled surname you can just use the last one (yours) to refer to them...but you can't change the facts.
I doubt if he can be denied visiting rights to his children, unless there is fear of violence or other issues...

HB

AnnaC · #4 03-31-2009, 05:22 PM

You are posting in the Legal forum ( DR related) so be more specific as to what you want to happen in the DR.

Am I understanding that you want to take your Dominican husbands rights as a parents from him? Maybe Mr Guzman can answer that one.

As for him fighting to stay in England that's a different topic and one that MR Guzman might not answer.

daydream · #5 03-31-2009, 05:41 PM

The only way that you can change their surname is if everyone with parental responsibility gives their consent .....so he would have to agree.

In terms of removing his parental responsibility altogether.....this is something that would need to go to court but the judge would only agree if he were violent or posed some sort of threat to his children.

As for him thinking they will help him stay in England....if he went to England on a spousal visa he can stay for 2 years initially. At the end of those 2 years you need to prove you are still together for him to be able to obtain his permanent residency. If he already has this permanent residency then he can stay with or without children. I am therfore assuming that he has been in England for less than 2 years, you are no longer together, which means he has to go back home when the 2 years are up and he is now fighting to stay on the basis that he has children?? The only way he could stay past the initial 2 years is if he were to apply to switch visa categories. If the children no longer live there there is no way he can stay on those grounds alone.

LuvtheDR · #6 03-31-2009, 08:48 PM

I'm just hoping that all the ladies that are posting on the various threads about their husbands getting visas to Canada TAKE NOTE OF THIS THREAD!!!!!!!

J D Sauser · #7 04-01-2009, 02:34 PM

If I understand right, the Dominican male in question, fathered and recognized both babies and now lives away from the mother and two kids, who stay in the DR in pursue of obtaining a residence permit in the UK?

Can't his legal custody and thus rights and privileges as a father be revoked here by a family court here based on him having abandoned the family?

Are the mother and the children (evidently they could be double citizen, Dominican too) legal residents of the DR, so that they would fall under the DR jurisdiction as far as family law?

... J-D.

sarita · #8 04-01-2009, 09:07 PM

hi first of all he was on a two year spouse visa and they gave him an extension in order to gain and keep regular contact with the children(he told them he didn't know where we where but at this point and for a while after we where still in england and in the same house and he was still harrasing me on the house phone) He never applied to court for contact or anything like that and in the end i decided to come back as this is where i wanted to be and the children are happy here too. He really doesn't want to come back and i think his hearing date must be close as hes started calling me and telling me how hes going to make me come back to england with the kids, during these phonecalls hes not once asked how either of his kids are as usual. I have a good job here the oldest has been in school since august and the youngest will start nursery at the same school this august coming, my parents also live here so i have family support. Kids have dual citizanship the oldest was born here, both have spent the majority of their life here. What i'm trying to say is that this is where we want to live our lives. He doesn't know the kids hasn't seen them in nearly 2 years and to be honest wouldn't recognize them if they passed him in the street. All he cares about is his paperwork and i think that it's unfair that he has parental rights to them as hes never been a parent just a spermdoner, however i know that out of spite he wont agree to anything that will benifit me or the kids,therefore i'm investigating what options i have without him having to give consent. i hope this all makes sense. thanks xxx

liam1 · #9 04-01-2009, 09:24 PM

Maybe it is better if he stays in England. If he gets deported he might blame you for that and then things could turn violent. Can you negotiate with him somehow? You help him with the visa and he in turn gives you something?

MikeFisher · #10 04-01-2009, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by liam1

Maybe it is better if he stays in England. If he gets deported he might blame you for that and then things could turn violent. Can you negotiate with him somehow? You help him with the visa and he in turn gives you something?

i would not recommend her to do some kind of illegal action, and to sign a paper which states they still live together in england or such would be illegal and could be held against the mother the same than against the father.
the kids have dual citizenship, so they are dominicans, i guess the mother could complain at a family court to be abandonded by the husband/father. is he paying anything for the kids?
check with a divorce lawyer for that.
good luck
Mike