I want to keep my child here in the United States.

[Alyonka]

That is why I think she wants Dad to pay for everything for his child in the DR. I think she wants money. Lawyers, doctors, child support counselors and mediators are VERY expensive.

I would just calculate how much it would cost to pay courts vs. to pay for child's insurance and education in the DR and see what makes more sense.

[Thandie]

Originally Posted by Alyonka

That is why I think she wants Dad to pay for everything for his child in the DR. I think she wants money. Lawyers, doctors, child support counselors and mediators are VERY expensive.

I agree that money is what she wants, for herself too. LOL
But I also think she is angry at him for moving on and finding another girlfriend, hence the threat and she may use her child as a weapon and might restrict his visitation or possibly get a forged travel document and go to another country with his child if she meets another man online. I think that is what the OP is worried about.

[TOOBER_SDQ]

I am not opining on what I think is the right verses wrong thing to do. But .....

If I were in the same situation as the OP and wanted my kid to live in the States, I just wouldn't put the kid back on a plane to DR.

The kid is a US Citizen and has no problem staying. What does an upset mother in DR have to do with it? Would she pursue this in a DR Court? Can she afford that? Would she stick it out until the end? Would a DR Lawyer work pro bono (for free)? Even if the answers are yes, which I doubt, does a DR Court have any juristiction over a US Citizen living in the US? Would a US Court deport a US Citizen to a non US Citizen's custody?
I think the answers are NO & NO. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't think it will ever get to this point.

I really think the mother's options are severely limited.

Will this gain international traction like Elian Gonzales? I don't think so.

I think the OP situation puts him in total control without all of that Doctor's Note stuff about the kids slowed development.

The mother may make it impossible for the OP to ever want to enter DR again, but that may be the price to pay.

[sylindr]

obviously if she has internet but her child is lacking necesities she is a poor mother and I would keep the child in the states. I have seen more than one of these women try to use these kids to get money or attention from the man. i don't know if this is the case but a mother who neglects a childs needs over her own wants should not have the child in her custody period.... and she probably won't have the resources to fight you in the US courst system.

[rsg]

Do you in your heart really think that the mom is neglectful or dangerous to your son? If not, do you really want to take this child away from his mom?

If you are really ready to be a full time dad and keep this child from his mom then go for it. But it sounds like to me that the only problems that you have now is paying for his medical coverage. The girls seems reasonable if she let you take your son to the states.It will cost you way more money and aggravation to go for full custody then to just man up and pay the medical for your son. I am sure that you are a good dad, but not paying your childs medical coverage because she has hi speed internet is just plain stupid..you are only hurting your son with your spite.

And remember one thing, if you did win custody you probably will never be able to send your son to see his mother in the DR,that kid would vanish into thin air.

Try to settle it peacefuly, pay for the medical for your son. It dont sound like this girl is that unreasonable,like some can be. And rather she is dominican, American, or whatever, there are always problems when people have children and are not together.You should have thought about this before you had a child with a girl that is not your wife, and lives in another country..

[Thandie]

Originally Posted by rsg

You should have thought about this before you had a child with a girl that is not your wife, and lives in another country..

True... but she should have thought about this too.
Because as Toober stated now the dad seems to be in control of this situation. Dads have rights as well. If he wants his American child to be raised in the USA where better medical care is available that might help his kids developmental problems.....
its what is best for the child not what the mom wants.

OP speak to a lawyer about your options before you send him home on a plane.

[margaret]

Originally Posted by PICHARDO

This could be a great opportunity (since now you understand how important that medical coverage is for your child in the DR) to smooth things out with her and also agree with her to have the medical coverage continue at your expense for the kid in the DR.

Believe it or not, you're the one in the wrong here as she wanted to contact the GF to talk, as she was the one with her child at that moment.

Women can talk unlike us men in these kind of situations. If I were you at this point in time, I would convince my GF to call her in the DR to allow for a healthy relationship to start, given that's the best option for your child as it stands today.

There are no better parents for a child than his own two loving ones...

Find a way to save your relationship with the mother of your child sooner, rather than too late
.

I agree with both your posts Picardo, you're right on the money. I think that is the best option for the child. It's totally reasonable for a mother to want to know who is minding her child. I think he should pay the insurance directly and if he really believes that child is neglected then he should take action in the Dominican courts not the US. This would be a terrible thing to do to the mother of your child and to the child. It's like kidnapping. She put her trust in him to return her son at the end of the visit! Why the developmental delays? Did they do a CAT scan of his brain? Is there any evidence of brain trauma? Are there fractures present in his xrays? Only then would I say, yes go for custody in the States.

[Dragonfly32837]

Originally Posted by margaret

I agree with both your posts Picardo, you're right on the money. I think that is the best option for the child. It's totally reasonable for a mother to want to know who is minding her child. I think he should pay the insurance directly and if he really believes that child is neglected then he should take action in the Dominican courts not the US. This would be a terrible thing to do to the mother of your child and to the child. It's like kidnapping. She put her trust in him to return her son at the end of the visit! Why the developmental delays? Did they do a CAT scan of his brain? Is there any evidence of brain trauma? Are there fractures present in his xrays? Only then would I say, yes go for custody in the States.

I agree with you and Pichardo. The child would be most hurt in the long run if you kidnap him because he will miss his mother and the rest of his family in the DR. Why do that when he can have the best of both worlds? Like others have said, she has some reason in her and she may be able to work something out with you. Her wait and see comment may mean that she will not let you take the child with you to the US anymore since you did not allow her to speak to the person that was caring for the child. I would be ****ed too.

[fabekid]

hello everyone....thanks for all your time and input.
Thandie, you are right on the money with your comments. Rsg, no problem here paying for medical for my child.
I took my son to the doctor yesterday and got him up to date with his immunization. he was behind 3 shots and she told me he only needed 1. the nurse and doctor look and measure my son's head and says it is in the 97% range, that means it is big. both notice the knot on the side of my son's head. now we have an appointment for next thursday to do a catscan to make sure that everything is o.k. my son also have a speech eval. setup for next friday to see why he cannot chew anything with substance and why he throw up anything with a little substance. all of us believes there is a problem with him internally.
the mom knew about the problem with him throwin up and when she mention it to me a few months ago, i told her right away that something is wrong and he either needs a barium swallow or speech eval to see what is going on, because that is not good. I simple told her that i will be on the next plane to get him so that he can be check out...her reply was, no not now. i ask her why i cannot come get my son to get him check out?, her reply again was just a simple no not now. i just hang up the phone on her.
when my son was 6 month, the doctor in the DR. told her to have a catscan on my son head, because it does not look normal and she wants to make sure he is o.k. it was never done. i will be doing that catscan here in the UNITED STAES on thursday at 21months.
for those who mention about me needing to manup and pay the insurance. let me give you a little info. when mom was pregnant, i paid every single doctor visit was on a plane every 3 to 4 weeks to make sure mom was o.k. i brought my son clothes all the way up to 3years. all the formula and diapers was ship to mom. not once in the first 14 months did mom had to go to the store to buy diapers and milk for my child. because of the people that i know, mom had enough pampers to start her own business plus take care of my son. i was sending mom money every two weeks. between $120-50US. I notice something was wrong. i would send her money and within a 3 days she did not have any money. once i notice that. i stop send her money and just ship a box with food and clothes for my child. the box i ship is a u-haul box closet size around 6ft. by the time i get to DR, the box is empty and i know i send at least 8 months worth of stuff everytime. once i was at her sister house. i went in the kitchen to get a glass and what did i see, the food that i sent.
she just told me the other day that her sister told her mom that she should get half the stuff that i send for my child because she help to raise her other son.
I'm not going to bore you all with my drama, but all i gotta to say is. Mom can kiss my azz. I'm here for my son, not to take care of her lazy azz and sorry family. she might have got me in the start but not at the end. some of us wake up and see the light and some of us keep sleeping. my eyes are wide open and i'm AWAKE.
now it is time to put my son in the possible enviroment for him so that he can have a future. a mother or father love alone, cannot take care of a child future and education. that's how i look at it...

[fabekid]

the doctor says he is delayed because he is not getting any stimulation. I also need to ask her why in the past when my son needed the Immunization shots. she aways told me that is cost over 3400pesos, but here 3 shots cost me $15 with insurance. at the time, he had insurance. so why so much?.