I want to keep my child here in the United States.

[bob saunders]

Originally Posted by fabekid

the doctor says he is delayed because he is not getting any stimulation. I also need to ask her why in the past when my son needed the Immunization shots. she aways told me that is cost over 3400pesos, but here 3 shots cost me $15 with insurance. at the time, he had insurance. so why so much?.

Immunization shots are free in the DR for children at public clinics.

[PICHARDO]

Originally Posted by fabekid

the doctor says he is delayed because he is not getting any stimulation. I also need to ask her why in the past when my son needed the Immunization shots. she aways told me that is cost over 3400pesos, but here 3 shots cost me $15 with insurance. at the time, he had insurance. so why so much?.

As the above poster indicated, immunization shots are free in public institutions; private clinics do charge about and more than the indicated by you above.

Believe you me; the last place I want my kids to even visit is the public hospital/clinics in the DR...

Have you ever wondered why private clinics and health providers are so numerous in the DR?

Apart from shots the clinics do perform other test and checks on the kids that are not the usual MO in the public health facilities.

My kids have no price limits when it comes to their health and well being... When you consider that untold number of kids are able to have their immunization provided in private clinics without having a foreign parent, what that means for you questioning why some shots come up to 34,000 pesos in the DR while back at home they are 15 US:

How much a car costs in the US and the same in the DR?
A TV? A car radio? Etc...

[Alyonka]

Thanks for the update. It looks like you need to take control of your son's life. Mom does not seem to care that much. It might be easier for you to just agree with her that you will be paying for everything and your son will have to spend more time with you. But I would not deprive him of seeing his mother at all. Even if she is a bad mother - it is simply inhumane. Good luck!

[margaret]

Originally Posted by fabekid

the doctor says he is delayed because he is not getting any stimulation. I also need to ask her why in the past when my son needed the Immunization shots. she aways told me that is cost over 3400pesos, but here 3 shots cost me $15 with insurance. at the time, he had insurance. so why so much?.

Maybe you should talk to a good lawyer in the DR and get some solid advice about custody etc. I hope your little boy gets some good treatment and has a happy healthy childhood.

[La Mariposa]

Originally Posted by margaret

Maybe you should talk to a good lawyer in the DR and get some solid advice about custody etc. I hope your little boy gets some good treatment and has a happy healthy childhood.

You should talk to a good lawyer in the USA too, I would

[TheHun]

Originally Posted by TOOBER_SDQ

I am not opining on what I think is the right verses wrong thing to do. But .....

If I were in the same situation as the OP and wanted my kid to live in the States, I just wouldn't put the kid back on a plane to DR.

The kid is a US Citizen and has no problem staying. What does an upset mother in DR have to do with it? Would she pursue this in a DR Court? Can she afford that? Would she stick it out until the end? Would a DR Lawyer work pro bono (for free)? Even if the answers are yes, which I doubt, does a DR Court have any juristiction over a US Citizen living in the US? Would a US Court deport a US Citizen to a non US Citizen's custody?
I think the answers are NO & NO. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't think it will ever get to this point.

I really think the mother's options are severely limited.

Will this gain international traction like Elian Gonzales? I don't think so.

I think the OP situation puts him in total control without all of that Doctor's Note stuff about the kids slowed development.

The mother may make it impossible for the OP to ever want to enter DR again, but that may be the price to pay.

Best advise in my opinion!
I do not agree with Pichardo. This woman betrayed her own child and his father. She used them for financial gain - while the child suffered. She isn't a mother, she's a b**ch, who's hopefully will rot in hell. I'd do everything in my power that she won't see her own child - ever!
I do believe - according to US laws- that he can get full custody of the child since they are both US citizens and the mother's custody would not be on the child's benefit - as it is well documented.
If she doesn't like it? Sue me from the DR, b**ch!
I wish you good luck, also good health and a nice future to your son.
Keep fighting for him!

The Hun

[TOOBER_SDQ]

Thanks Hun. I though it was good advice when I was writing it.

Most other posters are all wrapped up in emotions.... "The kid will miss his mother"......"What about the mother's feelings?"....... "The mother has rights to know who is watching her child" ...... and my favorite "Keeping the kid from his mother is inhumane". Oh Lord, talk about far reaching.

Inhumane is being locked in a closet for 23 hours a day. This man is trying to rescue his son from a "chances are" crappy childhood.

OP. Keep that boy in the States. The boy's mother screwed up. He is better off without her entirely.

Believe me, in the States he has a better chance at gathering the tools he needs to be a success in life ie. education, healthcare, security etc.

Yeah sure, DR is a great place to live, but it is even better when you establish yourself with US/Canadian/ European etc. credentials and $$$ before you live there.

What I am suggesting is not cruel; it's logical. Your boy will adapt fine. That's what kids do.

[margaret]

Regardless of the child's dual citizenship, the child is a resident of the Dominican Republic and his mother has custody. She gave him permission. Perhaps fabekid even signed a paper saying he would return the child. He didn't pay for the catscan that was recommended in infancy. I believe he would be charged with kidnapping and I doubt he had enough strong evidence to win his case. Missing the booster shots and not having the money for a catscan is not exactly strong evidence. Having high speed internet isn't exactly an extravagance when the father lives in the US. I don't think he would win and then for sure he would lose all contact.

There are other solutions I'm sure, trust funds, some legal agreement on custody and support. It sounds like he never tried that route first.

How to Win Hague Convention Case, international child abduction

Unless there's clear medical evidence of shaken baby syndrome or fractures, malnutrition, child never learnt how to chew because he had a bottle only, etc., it just looks like a typical marriage breakdown without a legal separation and child custody agreement. If this mother was so devious, why did she agree to let her son come to the USA with the father?

[margaret]

Originally Posted by TOOBER_SDQ

Thanks Hun. I though it was good advice when I was writing it.

Most other posters are all wrapped up in emotions.... "The kid will miss his mother"......"What about the mother's feelings?"....... "The mother has rights to know who is watching her child" ...... and my favorite "Keeping the kid from his mother is inhumane". Oh Lord, talk about far reaching.

Inhumane is being locked in a closet for 23 hours a day. This man is trying to rescue his son from a "chances are" crappy childhood.

OP. Keep that boy in the States. The boy's mother screwed up. He is better off without her entirely.

Believe me, in the States he has a better chance at gathering the tools he needs to be a success in life ie. education, healthcare, security etc.

Yeah sure, DR is a great place to live, but it is even better when you establish yourself with US/Canadian/ European etc. credentials and $$$ before you live there.

What I am suggesting is not cruel; it's logical. Your boy will adapt fine. That's what kids do.

Remember the little Cuban boy who came over on a yola with his mother who drown? His uncle in Miami took custody. Where is he now? back in Cuba with his father. The SWAT team went in and got him and returned him to his parent in Cuba. Rule of law. Hague Convention.

Think about twenty years from now when he returns to meet his mother and family in the DR. High speed internet, 3400 pesos for booster shots will look like a pretty lame excuse for taking custody.

[Thandie]

Fabekid,
Thanks for the background info and the update...does not sound good for your son. Whatever you do will not be enough for this woman, based on her past behaviour. And it sounds like her family is encouraging her to drain you, not for the childs benefit but for themselves (i.e. taking your childs food for other family members? thats not love but selfishness)...ignoring the childs basic needs.
You cannot rationalize with some people. I dont agree with others who say try to smooth things out with her. Sounds like you tried and she will do what she wants to do. Just like when she knew the father of her other child would NEVER sign papers for his child to leave the country, but her and her mother broke the law and committed a crime and obtained forged letters to take the child out of the country. That is a SERIOUS RED FLAG!She is NOT someone you can trust obviously!
I bet you will regret it if you send the child home.

Tell her the doctors are concerned, what they have told you about his health issues and he has to have many more tests so you are not sure 'when' he will return to the D.R.. And go see a lawyer ASAP!!!!
I pray his additional medical tests results are not serious. But it sounds like he will need treatment/therapy to help reverse his developmental delays. And the USA will be the best place for that! I know you must be worried.
If the doctor said your son is delayed because the mother did not provide him with enough stimulation (something so basic and easy to do especially when there are other people in the house)...how could you send him back in good conscious, to the same environment with this woman and her family, and risk more delayed development or possibly neglect for you son? I wouldnt and neither would any other loving parent. She and her family obviously cant be trusted to adequately care for his needs.
She can talk to him by phone and see him via video phone since she has high speed internet. And in the future make plans to visit the USA. You said her mom and her son have been to Boston so they dont sound like a very poor family.

I am with you and Toober on this. Who cares about the mothers 'feelings'. This is about your sons health and development...period! That is the #1 issue not the moms feelings. How are you going to explain to your son 20 years from know why you sent him back to such an environment. What about his feelings and rights?
Let her talk to who ever will be taking care of the child, including your girlfriend. Tape record the phone calls because it sounds like you are nervous she will be verbally abusive to her or try cause trouble based on jealousy.
Some people are biased because they feel mothers are best to take care of the child. That is not always the case. So dont feel guilty about protecting your child. You are not being inhumane.

She can talk to him by phone and see him via video phone since she has high speed internet. And in the future make plans to visit the USA. You said her mom and her son have been to Boston so they dont sound like a very poor family.

Keep a DETAILED DAILY written DIARY of all your sons activities, date a time...how many times he throws ups, is sick, obvious delays in development you notice, detailed notes from doctors visits, your friends and families interactions and observations with him, when you and your son talk to her/email, reciepts from stuff and money you sent him while he was in the DR....EVERYTHING! This info related to his health issues will be helpful for his doctors/specialists and if you have to go to court. You cannot have too much evidence and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

The mother does not have legal custody does she?
If there is no legal custody order in place...how could you be kidnapping your own child. At this point you have as much right to be with him....until the court 'in the USA' decides otherwise.
(As has been dicsussed many times on this board the court system in the DR CANNOT be trusted....convicted murders pay to get out of jail.... so you would be a fool, especially as a gringo to play this out in the D.R. as oppossed to the USA)
He is in the USA for medical care, which the mother agreed to.
It appears that his medical treatment will take a long time to deal with, with tests and therapy/treatment.
Possession is 9/10ths of the law.

Wishing the best for your son.