I want to keep my child here in the United States.

fabekid · #1 05-19-2009, 04:15 AM

Hello everyone. Thanks to all that sent me info on the last question I asked about insurance for my kid.
now I have another. I decided not to pay for the insurance in the D.R and told her that is her responsibility to do something for her child. since then, the child have no insurance and she have not kept up with the child immunization shots. the funny thing is she have high speed internet at home in her bedroom, but cannot find the money to take care of her child. now, after several months, she gives me permission to get my son so that i can take him to a Doctor here in the U.S to get him check out. I pay insurance for him here in the states. I now have my son with me and have a few Doctors appointment to get him look at. A few of the Doctors and all the Nurses that I work with already told me that my son is behind and not doing the things he should be doing for his age.
Now the problem is, she calls me to ask me how he is doing and when i told her fine and I'm at work. She ask who is keeping him. once I told her my girlfriend she flips the script and demand my girlfriend phone number. I told her she can talk to me if she have any question. Now she is not happy with that and does not like my girlfriend and told me to "wait and see". Now the wait and see I take as a threat. I know she is not going to let me have my son again when I take him back to her.
Now the question of the day is, if i decide to keep my son and not take him back, what process can i take here in the United States to keep him?. he was born there in the D.R and have dual citizenship.
When I filed his paper at the consulate, they sent me a birth certificate here in the U.S for him. She keeps asking me for a copy of that and claims she just want a copy for herself. I keep telling her she have his dominican birth certificate, so why do she want a copy. I suspect something is up, but don't know what she is up to. when i got there to pick up my son, she ask if i brought her a copy. I told her no and she reply, you know....I was waiting for that paper, i need that paper. what do you all think she is upto?. I was trying to play fair, but this women is crazy. I know this sounds bad, but after dealing with her. I don't think I will ever date another Dominican woman.
Thanks in advance....

bellakins · #2 05-19-2009, 10:24 AM

You need the counsel of an attorney as soon as possible. Try to set up joint custody of some sort. I do not recommend keeping him with you in the US against the wishes of the mother in the DR;
unless you can prove abuse, this tactic could get you in trouble.

Thandie · #3 05-19-2009, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fabekid

I now have my son with me and have a few Doctors appointment to get him look at. A few of the Doctors and all the Nurses that I work with already told me that my son is behind and not doing the things he should be doing for his age.
....

I would have the doctors and nurses document what they have told you about him being developmentally delayed, in the medical files and a letter to you.
Contact a lawyer about getting full custody of your son.

Alyonka · #4 05-19-2009, 12:39 PM

I know of a similar case. You would have to do A LOT of work to prove that it is better for your son to be with you, pay lawyers, court/child counselors, doctors and mediators. Maybe your ex wants money from you, and you can just agree with her without all the legal expense? Although it might be risky.

PICHARDO · #5 05-19-2009, 12:45 PM

Don't!!!!

You better smooth things out and stop using the problems within you guys to affect the relationship you already have with your son!

First of all, you really don't want to start a legal debate in the US where the child is with you in a temporary visit only!
Given that you refused (and as clearly stated here) to pay for medical coverage for the kid in the DR, the blame will fall square on you for your claims based on the US doctor's findings regarding his health!!!!

The mother enjoys full custody of the child and provided that you never challenged that fact in a Dominican court is the first problem you face. The second is that she has allowed you to have partial custody of the child to look after his health and visit with you, all out of her good will not to place blocks between you and the child.

In effect, she has the right to request any given contact of a person that would be caring for the child, while he's under your temporary custody. As a father wouldn't you be less out of the loop, if you knew that you could be at ease by having a simple talk with those in the care of your child?

PICHARDO · #6 05-19-2009, 12:53 PM

This could be a great opportunity (since now you understand how important that medical coverage is for your child in the DR) to smooth things out with her and also agree with her to have the medical coverage continue at your expense for the kid in the DR.

Believe it or not, you're the one in the wrong here as she wanted to contact the GF to talk, as she was the one with her child at that moment.

Women can talk unlike us men in these kind of situations. If I were you at this point in time, I would convince my GF to call her in the DR to allow for a healthy relationship to start, given that's the best option for your child as it stands today.

There are no better parents for a child than his own two loving ones...

Find a way to save your relationship with the mother of your child sooner, rather than too late
.

RGVgal · #7 05-19-2009, 01:04 PM

A friend of mine has a similar situation. He has been fighting it out with the mother of his 3 children who have dual citizenship (not DR, but another country) for a couple of yrs now. It has been very costly, but while they are still going to court he has been able to keep the kids with him. You should contact a lawyer asap and see what your options are.

Thandie · #8 05-19-2009, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RGVgal

but while they are still going to court he has been able to keep the kids with him. You should contact a lawyer asap and see what your options are.

Yes I have read about similar cases, your child might be able to stay with you, while you fight for custody. Contact a lawyer and if you can based on your childs development problems keep him with you.... get more medical tests for him.

Some mothers are not rational, loving human beings who have the best interest of their children in mind.

Alyonka · #9 05-19-2009, 01:24 PM

If she allowed her child to travel with his Dad to the US without her and even be with his new GF - she is not that bad or irrational. I have known some very well educated and professional mothers who would NEVER allow this to happen. They would not be able to be without their child for even an hour or so.

Thandie · #10 05-19-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alyonka

If she allowed her child to travel with his Dad to the US without her and even be with his new GF - she is not that bad or irrational.

Well we only know one side of the story...but most good moms would make sure their child had proper medical care before they had high speed internet, especially if that child is delayed. IMO a good mom would make her childs health a priority. Many other moms do in the DR even though the dad does not pay for anything. If her mother could afford to bring her other child to Boston and do all the 'forged' legal paperwork I am assuming she could of asked her mom to take her other son to the doctor for a check up and shots.

Based on what the OP posted, and the fact that his childs development is delayed, I see his concerns for his child.