Question for all you men

[sunshine_79]

Hola, hope all is well. Still trying to learn as much as I can about the culture of the DR before I arrive next month and hope you can help me out with a question I have.
I've noticed that the attitude of American men seems to be changing as far as ideal body type. Back in the 90's when the heroin chic look was all the rage then it seemed like any woman above a size 0 was considered a fatty. But in recent years, after people like J Lo have entered the scene, I've noticed that men are much more accepting of a curvier figure and a lot of them actually prefer a woman with " a little meat on their bones".
I was just curious what the attitude in general seems to be of the men in the DR.
I started thinking about this after seeing one of my friends yesterday that has put on about 15 pounds. She wasn't thin to begin with but was not big by any means. I was shocked when I saw her because she looked absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Her face looked like it was glowing and her clothes just seemed to fit her so much better. Of course the first thing she did was mention the dreaded weight she had put on. I couldn't convince her that she looked beautiful, it was so sad.
I guess seeing her just piqued my curiousity a bit. Any input?

[Berzin]

There are some latin men who prefer women with meat on their bones. Having said that, I would be very offended as a women that society places rules on how I should look, especially when the men making the rules are for the most part not all that attractive to begin with.

I ran into a friend in Santo Domingo whom I had'nt seen in months. She had gained weight and gotten some sun, which made her india skin just glow. She looked absolutely stunning, and she was pretty nice looking to begin with. She had issues with her weight and her skin color because she said she was getting fat and looking too dark. Go figure.

I told her not to worry about society putting more value on skinny white girls. If this was set in stone there would'nt be so many of us looking for dominican girlfriends!!!

[sunshine_79]

Originally Posted by Berzin

There are some latin men who prefer women with meat on their bones. Having said that, I would be very offended as a women that society places rules on how I should look, especially when the men making the rules are for the most part not all that attractive to begin with.

I ran into a friend in Santo Domingo whom I had'nt seen in months. She had gained weight and gotten some sun, which made her india skin just glow. She looked absolutely stunning, and she was pretty nice looking to begin with. She had issues with her weight and her skin color because she said she was getting fat and looking too dark. Go figure.

I told her not to worry about society putting more value on skinny white girls. If this was set in stone there would'nt be so many of us looking for dominican girlfriends!!!

Interesting point. How prevalent are eating disorders amongst women in the DR I wonder?

I know here in the states that a lot of the eating disorders that strike young women are from the result of the media, especially programming such as MTV, that make it seem like if you're not 5'10, blonde and 95 pounds then you're fat. It's really sad! My ex boyfriend told me when we broke up last month that I needed to lose weight. I'm 5'4 and weigh 130 soaking wet. And all of this coming from someone that I went out with because I liked his personality, not his looks.

And you mentioned your friend was bemoaning her skin getting dark? Is this a concern for a lot of the women down there?

[stewart]

Dominican men, in general prefer a more substantial woman. They like them a little hippy.
The women worry a lot more about getting too dark from the sun. And avoid exposure to sunshine as much as possible.
These are generalities of course.

[Chirimoya]

Higher up the social scale there is more pressure to be thin, although rarely western style stick-thin. Many of my slimmer friends, considered attractive in Europe, would be looked upon with pity in the DR.

Most ordinary Dominicans still admire curves and a little more flesh. I have seen men gaze with reverence upon women who whose bodies would be covered in tent-like garments in northern Europe, and presumably also the US. It's also to do with attitude and confidence. Even women with less than perfect bodies dress and carry themselves as if they look like a million dollars, and often they manage to look good.

If you look at models in Dominican magazines and advertisement and compare them to what you see in the US they will be a good couple of sizes larger.

The typical British woman's paranoid "does my bum (butt) look big in this" is an alien concept in the DR!

It is true that most people do not actively seek suntans, either.

[Jersey Devil]

I have found many Dominican men who liked a girl with, as someone typed above, more in the hips. On one of my trips my taxi driver and I were discussing just this subject. At first I didn't pick out the ones that he liked. After a little while though it became apparent what he said Dominican men wanted.

JD

[Shelley]

Originally Posted by Chirimoya

Most ordinary Dominicans still admire curves and a little more flesh.

why I love the DR

[Mr.Mark]

I think most of Dominican men live to the standard "Variety is the spice of life", although many don't like black women, morenitas, etc. There's a bit of racism in that matter in the DR.

I know your concern is about the weight of the girl. It's true Dominican guys in general like some meat, but I think it's just one of the many variants that the sexual fantasizing takes. For instance, in Arabs countries "fat" women are very appreciated, because they are women who can fill the bed. Women that are a bit chubby tend to be more affectionate and have very sweet voices. Because many of them have been mistreated and misvalued by society when they're finally in a relationship they're very devotioned and they really make the man feel like a king. Sometimes the component of not having a caring father adds up to the feelings of these women and KABOOM!, you have a woman that really wants to love someone and wants the relationship to work.

Dominican men really like curviness and that doesn't depend on how thin or fat you are -well, if you're too thin maybe one cannot notice that, so a few pounds can make you look better-. About the sexual fantasizing thing: sometimes men think "that flaca (thing woman) has to be a great sexual partner" and they also think "that chubby girl must be great in bed". So it's like they (we) like both things, but we're concerned on how we're looked by society and for that reason end up selecting thinner women.

According to a survey carried out for Dove (the brand of soap produced by Unilever) by the London School of Economics and Harvard University, only two percent of women describe themselves as beautiful. The study revealed that in Brazil, 6 percent of women consider themselves to be beautiful, the double of Argentina, the Netherlands and the U.S. I think it's interesting that the Garotinhas have the highest proportion of women that consider themselves to be beautiful. It has a lot to do with how developed the soap operas industries is in Brazil, and also that brazilians celebrate brazilian beauty.

I wonder what the outcome of that survey would be if it were carried out in the Dominican Republic.

You can see it detailed here:
http://www.dove.com/real_beauty/news.asp?id=566

[rellosk]

Originally Posted by sunshine_79

And you mentioned your friend was bemoaning her skin getting dark? Is this a concern for a lot of the women down there?

Skin color seems to be very important. You constantly hear people saying I'm not as dark as that person. Darker skinned people are often referred to as Haitiano. Occasionally someone who would be clearly considered African American in the US, will ask me if they look black. I would respond yes and they would get insulted and argue that they are not black.

Here are some recent threads that have discussed the issue ad nauseam:

Haiti is not DR's Responsibility

Identity of Latinos

"Real" Dominicans

[sunshine_79]

[quote=rellosk]Skin color seems to be very important. You constantly hear people saying I'm not as dark as that person. Darker skinned people are often referred to as Haitiano. Occasionally someone who would be clearly considered African American in the US, will ask me if they look black. I would respond yes and they would get insulted and argue that they are not black.

QUOTE]


Go figure. I wonder how many millions (or perhaps billions?) of dollars women spend in the states every year on artificial tans? I guess it's true that most of us women are never satisfied!

I served with a few Dominican women in the Army and thought they were beautiful and exotic but all they wanted to do was become more "American-ized". I hope that the impossibly high standards of beauty that the US holds doesn't rub off too much down there. Personally, I think the most beautiful woman in the world is Salma Hayek (I think she's Mexican?) but to a lot of Americans, she's considered fat or too big.