Blending in - tips for foreign residents

[Vacara]

Originally Posted by nikke

These tips are general but worth reviewing. I have some to add as well:

When you walk into a room acknowledge people and say 'Saludos' or 'Buenos Dias/Tardes/Noches' and make eye contact with people. You will be surprised how often you will bump into the same people sometimes and it just shows that you are respectful.

Along that line if you go to someone's house make sure you greet everyone, try to shake hands or if you feel comfortable give the women a kiss on the cheek. A Dominican told me that if you are the one entering the room or passing someone in their gate on the street you should be the one saying hello. It can't hurt.

Use Usted when first meeting someone you don't know, whether they are old or young, or you can call an older man woman Don or Dona for respect.

Don't use "Usted" for young people, it looks stupid, and never, never use the word "Don" without following it with the name of the person you are talking to or about, otherwise it becomes a disgusting slang or at best sound confusing.

[Vacara]

Originally Posted by Pib

I live in Punta Cana. It also depends where you are going, nobody picks up their kids at school wearing shorts.

I bought half a dozen capri pants (they all look the same, people must think I wear the same pants all the time). Capris can get you anywhere here (at least in daytime situations). Sandals are OK.

Absolutely. If you try to pass as Dominican you'd be the laughingstock, but that's not the point. The point is to respect local culture, something any smart traveler does wherever they go. Just like you don't show up at an UAE airport carrying porn and booze.

In return you will be minimally bothered, and gain the support and respect of the people that surround you.

Other tips of my own:
-Men, wear shirts. We do not wish to see your moobs. Never go into an establishment without shirt, even more so if they serve food. (I am looking at you, moron at the Basking Robins in Punta Cana). It's OK for men to go bare-chested only in the same situation it would be OK for a woman to wear a bikini.

-Do not discuss your political or religious views with people that are not of your immediate circle. This is specially important if your views are not that common here.

- Learn how to use "a buen tiempo" and "buen provecho".

- Drug use, even if only the "youthful experimentation" kind, is looked down upon. Avoid mentioning it, or in any way suggesting it is an ongoing thing. As a matter of fact, refrain from mingling with people who might be users, abusers, or traffickers. Under no circumstances get caught with drugs.

-Avoid Spanish curse words. It's possible that you have not yet mastered the finer points of the language and will use it in a completely inappropriate place or time. Avoid using words if you have no idea what they mean, discreetly ask a trusted person if you don't know.

- I know it's archaic in most languages, and that some other posters have mentioned it, but this bears repeating: use Usted when addressing people you just met (except for children/teenagers). They will let you know if they wish to be addressed with the less formal "tu", or you'll figure out by watching how other Dominicans interact with this person how you should address them in the future.

- Make a habit of listening, and observing more than you speak/do.

Best post in this thread and the most insightful poster I've seen in DR1 on Dominican issues.

[Pib]

Thanks Vacara.

Something I don't remember seeing mentioned is smoking. Here's the deal: very few Dominicans smoke, the rest generally disapproves of smoking, and a great deal of those find it disgusting.

Smoking at somebody's home is disrespectful. Do you see an ashtray anywhere? No? Take the hint. And even so, step out to smoke, or better yet, refrain from doing it entirely. If you ask if you can smoke the person will be almost obligated to say yes, even smilingly (the other choice is being a lousy host, nobody wants to be that), and resent you all the time you are "stinking up" the place.

Smoking in public establishments is not welcome unless there is an specific smokers' area. And I have news for you, even when everybody is smiling at you and treat you with kid's gloves, we'll still hate having you smoking around us. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[jrhartley]

why do so many people ask for a cigarette if no-one smokes ?

[Pib]

I didn't say no one smokes. And, if you smoke, chances are you are going to connect with other smokers. I've never been asked for a cigarette in 39 years. Wonder why?

[MikeFisher]

right Pib,
nobody would kick you out of his/her house because you want to smoke, those non smokers here would even send one of the kids to the neighbours house or the colmado to borrow a ashtrey for you, but it would be a bad move of a smoker smoking in a non smokers house.
dominicans are much less smokers than other nationalities i lived with.
i get asked for a smoke quiet often, mostly by the boys working around the boats down here, but most of them do not smoke.
same for local colmados at my 'hood, everybody knows me, so there are the usual 'neighbours' who ask for a smoke, it's a usual long time game, but most don't smoke. sure there are no marked smoking areas at a colmadon or such, but as a heavy smoker myself i always spot my seat where others smike nearby and do not sit right aside a non smokers dominoes table. even that they would most likely not complain about their wellknown neighbour smoking there, but it would not be a nice move from me to do so.
i also agree on the point with connecting with people by sharing the bad habbit of smoking, at a new place you get into conversations quiet often just starting with sharing a smoke or only offerring a light to a bar-neighbour.
Mike

[Vacara]

Originally Posted by MikeFisher

right Pib,
nobody would kick you out of his/her house because you want to smoke, those non smokers here would even send one of the kids to the neighbours house or the colmado to borrow a ashtrey for you, but it would be a bad move of a smoker smoking in a non smokers house.
dominicans are much less smokers than other nationalities i lived with.
i get asked for a smoke quiet often, mostly by the boys working around the boats down here, but most of them do not smoke.
same for local colmados at my 'hood, everybody knows me, so there are the usual 'neighbours' who ask for a smoke, it's a usual long time game, but most don't smoke. sure there are no marked smoking areas at a colmadon or such, but as a heavy smoker myself i always spot my seat where others smike nearby and do not sit right aside a non smokers dominoes table. even that they would most likely not complain about their wellknown neighbour smoking there, but it would not be a nice move from me to do so.
i also agree on the point with connecting with people by sharing the bad habbit of smoking, at a new place you get into conversations quiet often just starting with sharing a smoke or only offerring a light to a bar-neighbour.
Mike

Mike what other nationalities you say smoke more regularly than Dominicans, also; smoking in a non smoking house isn't bad all around the world?

[bob saunders]

Originally Posted by Vacara

Mike what other nationalities you say smoke more regularly than Dominicans, also; smoking in a non smoking house isn't bad all around the world?

Pretty well any eastern European nation, Chinese, many Arab nations, ...etc. I would say from my observations in about 35 countries that Dominican are not heavy smokers as a nation.

[jrhartley]

you wouldnt be too popular in anyones home anywhere in the world if you light up without asking first

[MikeFisher]

Vacara,
of course it would be bad habbit to smoke at a non smoker's house anywhere on the planet.
i meant that towards the point that a non smoking dominican family very much more likely would allow you to smoke there, even get an asher for you, in other countries you would just be told to not smoke at this place.
i see it always when in the house of my mechanic friend Frank,typical dominican family, he is mechanic for boat engines, we are close friends since over a decade.
he and his Gal are not smoking,
but even after that long time of friendship with me never ever smoking not even once in his house nor on his veranda, the moment i arrive and take my seat his Gal comes with a cold presidente light and an asher on my table aside my seat.
they would see it as a bad habbit from their side to not offer me as their guest the commodity of my own bad habbits.
if i smoke there i even leave the veanda, take a 3minutes walk around the place and use the asher to put the butt out.
such would not very likely happen in a german non smoking home.
in europe i would name the french much more heavy smokers by passion and tradition than the DR, and all the Asian part of the globe anyways, also germans and italians.
Mike