New words to an old song

[Hillbilly]

Saw this, thought it apropos of this section....


New Words To An Old Dylan Song


How many roads must a man drive down
Before he admits he is lost
Why when a man becomes married is he
unable to find his own socks.

How many times will it take 'til he knows
he has seen the three stooges enough

The answer my friend, I cannot comprehend
The answer, I cannot comprehend

How many shows can a man surf through
before the remote burns out
Why does he think that an intimate gift
is a Dustbuster Plus for the house

How many sounds can a man's body make
before he sleeps on the couch

The answer my friend, is take two aspirin
The answer is take two aspirin

Why when we go for a romantic drive
do we wind up at Builder's Square again
How many nights will he leave the seat up
so I land on cold porcelain

How men really feel is mystery to me
and probably a mystery to them

The answer girlfriend is driving me to gin
The answer is driving me to gin.


HB

[Pib]

How many nights will he leave the seat up
so I land on cold porcelain

My Insignificant Other and I analyzed it and arrived to this conclusion:
*When he left the sit up I had to take it down.
*When I left the sit down he had to put it up.
Therefore we both were working the same. Sounds like a good compromise to me, and we got along just fine and dandy.

[Hillbilly]

And now he is the "insignificant other"... oh well..

BTW: sit= seat? And "arrived to = arrived at"

"HB

[Pib]

That was très duh!

I guess that now, as a disgraced member of the Grammar Gestapo I will be shot.

And by the way, since I don't like "ex" I think that Insignificant Other sounds, er, appropriate.

[Hillbilly]

You were writing with the Dominican "inner ear" and I do it all the time, but backwards....

"gas compresado"= gas comprimido
"uepones" = weapons

Are two of my grand moments...

Oh yes, and "bartoa" trees???

HB

[Pib]

I like being head of The Ñ Squad. I can go around shooting buñiga at perpetrators of crimes against grammar?

[Jane J.]

HB, I'll see you your uepones and raise you a cal-CU-lo - instead of cálculo...

[Hillbilly]

I also managed:
LU ter o in stead of Lu TER o

Great one to pull in a History Depatment...

all my sins....bless me Ditz...for I have sinned..

HB

[Pib]

There's a story in my family similar to Jane's. My grandmother, a devout Catholic and unapologetic clown, went to all the religious activities in their small community. Once the official rezadora (the one who "reads" the rosary prayers) was sick, they found a new lady, but she was semi-illiterate. When she reached the part about " his soul entering the holy tabernacle" the lady read: "que entre en el santo TabernaCUlo. From the back my grandma shouted "que culo ni culo, taberNÁculo". Yeah, it runs in the family.

Now Jane, you know why I had a flashback reading about things entering your vernacular. Hihi.

Yeah, and there was this time when my little bro said in English class that the pregnant lady was "embarrased".

[Hillbilly]

That he pronounced it: em bare assed???

HB