Players... getting into their minds

[Lee-Lee]

I need some help here on this topic...
please, if anyone chooses to respond lets stick to the rule of no fighting or ridiculing others ideas... lets stick to expression of opinions, and if rebuttals do arise, may they arise in peace and harmony.

amen!

what is the point of playing a person? if you are a man for example, and you know you can be with one woman (or woman playing a man).... why play her?

what are the thoughts running through a person's head when he/she is a cheater. if sex is just sex... and if it can be fun and recreational as an extra-curricular activity... why do players resort to multiple partners and hurt others in the procesS?

if anyone here has ever played a person... you are the one i'd love to hear from.

and one more note: who's the smoothest (most successful) player? the north american, european, or dominican player man?

just wondering

[Jersey Devil]

Lee-Lee,

Good question.

M

[leja]

Lee Lee...
I just wrote a post called "Polygamy, Cheating, and the Dominican Man" in this same forum - it's about one of my ideas regarding why Dominican men may be "players"...be warned though, it's really, really lengthy (but worth the read, I think). As for why people are players in general...that's a huge question. There are tons of reasons for and degrees of being a player. Coming from a psychology backround though, I can say that some of the extremely hard core players, users, and charismatic liers (the ones who have no understanding or empathy for others' feelings and thus no remorse over hurting or manipulating people) may have a psychological condition called "antisocial personality disorder." If you think your Benji guy may fit this pattern...or at least some of the tendencies that go along with it, it might be somewhat healing for you to do a little bit of research into the disorder. Being burned is awful, and it might help to get a better understanding of where he may have been coming from. Just a thought...

~Leja

[Jersey Devil]

Originally posted by Lee-Lee
[what is the point of playing a person? what are the thoughts running through a person's head when he/she is a cheater.

just wondering [/B]

I think it all depends on what the "playa" wants. If the person
just wants sex as soon and easy as possible he might want
to compartmentalize his life into different sections.
A) A marriage or LTR, B) "amante" C) Booty call
To the player the important thing is to have "it"
as easily as possible. Some people just may not feel
guilt cheating, or they bury it.

Also from Lee-Lee:
"if sex is just sex... and if it can be fun and recreational as an extra-curricular activity...

why do players resort to multiple partners and hurt others in the procesS?"

The problem that I see with sex as a recreational and fun
activity is that if you have A, (see abc's above) the sex
may only be C to the cheater. An amusement that
passes the time but does not threaten A.
I think that B comes when a man gets blown
away by the new relationship and can't make up his mind
on whether to stay with the person in A, continue both A
and B, or to leave A for B. I once worked with a true player
and he gave me a few glimpses into his relationships. It
sounded much like he was committed to his wife, but he
was definately going to continue his cheating ways. In
some cases he said he carried on LTRs with his lovers.
He worked on mostly stable women with no, or mostly
grown, children. He would spend time with them but
they both knew that no strings were attached.
In other cases he said he lied. He would turn on
the charm, get laid, and then later reveal the truth that
he was married. Another type is the single guy who is
just looking to try as many "flavors of the month" as
possible. He just feels that he needs the sex, since he
has no regular partner and may or may not be ready
for a "real relationship". To him he is not a player but
just another horny guy.
Players don't worry about anyone but themselves
first and foremost. To them another person feelings
are not as important as getting what they want.

Part I

[Jane J.]

My thoughts on players and people who get played is that *most often* people who get played are not so *played* but rather blissfully ignorant. They are lacking something, or have some need unfulfilled, and are willing to put up with certain indignities in order to keep whatever it is about the relationship that they cherish.

Maybe a teeny weeny small percentage are the hopelessly romantically kind who really and *truly* fall for all the lame excuses and constant BS, but I think even THEY are slightly suspicious.

I have seen many women actively PURSUE relationships with so-called "players", sometimes ending up with players who have the added bonus of being physically abusive.

My feeling is that the player is a degenerate who lacks basic respect for human relationships.

What a player might say in answer to your question:

"You know, I just like other women! It takes nothing away from what I feel for my girlfriend/wife - I just can't help myself! So what?"

Right?

[Jersey Devil]

Originally posted by Lee-Lee


what are the thoughts running through a person's head when he/she is a cheater.

I know that some rationalize their cheating.
Tipico "I'm not getting what I want at home"
Science "I never did an Indian chick"
Altruistic "She really needs it and I'm going to give it to her,
I'm actually doing her a favor"

[Sapphire&Pearl]

if anyone here has ever played a person... you are the one i'd love to hear from.

I play boys because I can......don't hate the player...hate the game

[x_man]

with no regard for conventional rules of engagement.

So therefore all the above is just brainy after thought.

Players at work is like watching courtship in the animal kingdom.

hahaha X.

[trina]

There is a man from Sosua I know who owns a condo and a motorcycle. He always has endless money to spend on booze and drugs and he supports his whole family. Yet he has never worked a day in his life. I am told some of his money came from playing baseball (called up to the minors under the Texas Rangers, sent back), but I am positive the majority of his money comes from his "girlfriends", women from all over the world who send him money. Many of these girlfriends have tried to get a visa for him, (I think he's been married a couple of times) which I am sure is a big joke to him, because he knows he will never get approved. (But he will take any money that he "needs" to go through the process...he probably gets a "new passport" every six months) He has a drug offense list so long, he can't even buy his way into a clean record.
What I just don't get is
(1) How can these women meet a man, know him for a week, fall crazily in love, and then send him money every month. (Can you not smell a rat the first time he asks???)
(2) How this man can accept this money from total strangers (women, none-the-less) without guilt.

[Ken]

Originally posted by trina
How can these women meet a man, know him for a week, fall crazily in love, and then send him money every month. (Can you not smell a rat the first time he asks??

There are a number of threads in the archives with evidence that there women who who are unwilling or unable to "smell a rat."