Do Dominican Women Believe Marriage Is Necessary for Happiness?

[Ken]

We have had several threads recently about differences and similarities between Dominican women and their counterparts in first -world countries. A statement in a post in a different section has got me wondering if there are differences between the attitude toward marriage of Dominican women approaching middle age and those in other countries.

Originally posted by bobnoxious
My observation was, quite simply, that women your age that are not married have obviously missed the "true love" boat. If you could trust another with your entire life and future, you'd know what I mean.

If I interpret the statement correctly, "true love" in the first world countries is found only by married women. Is this also the case in the Dominican Republic?

[AnnaC]

Thanks Ken.

This should be an interesting subject. I'm sure in the Dominican Republic as anywhere in the world some of us did find true love at one point in our lives. But when the love turns sour better to be alone and happy then "married" and miserable.



A little reminder: If I hear anything that sounds political, it's gone.

[Pib]

I can't speak for Dominican women, or women for that matter. I can only speak for myself. Marriage is a legal institution, it has nothing whatsoever to do with love. There are things that make marriage advantageous and it can make life easier for a couple because governments and institutions just don't cave in to "but we really love each other!". They want to see papers, and I can understand that, how can they know you are trully a couple? They can't guess it from looking at one's face.

I don't know about DR, but I know a gazillion couples in the campos that have been together since the beginning of time and never got around to getting married. In Spanish we have the words "marido" and "mujer", they imply that the other person is your spouse with all rights and duties but not necessarily that you're married. I am sure it is more so in the campos where getting married is too expensive for the majority.

Did marriage make me happier? Well, it made both our lives much easier.

[Criss Colon]

Making it "Legal" is a sign of commitment that just "living together" can never equal.Especially to a man! We value our money,and our "STUFF" more than a woman will ever know!We can tell you how many hours we worked to buy the car,boat,motorcycle,or any other of our "Toys"! So if we give the lady of our dreams a legal right to half our "treasures" we mean business!To those who say that being married is just a "Piece Of Paper!",I say,"Then why not get married?"

Since I have reach the stage in my life where I realize that anything you can BUY,is not really a big deal anyway,I don't mind being married,because I really don't need my "Stuff" anyway!I can always get more!

That said,
"Do you know the difference between "Herpes",and "True Love?"

......."HERPES" is FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Lee-Lee]

comparing dominican vs. 1st-world/whatever/non-dominican women is like comparing two different fruits dude...... apples and oranges might both be fruits, but they look, smell, and taste different.

same as the ladies.... they look, think, and taste different

different cultures/life experiences/conditioning processes would obviously have shaped these two groups of women into holding different cultural values.... and hence, different attitudes towards the institution of marriage

attitudes towards love is obviously universal in a sense, but what it means 'to love' and to further complicate it and link it to marriage would most likely be a difficult approach at analyzing the two groups of women

if there's anything i've taken from a caribbean studies i once took not too long ago..... i do recognize a dichotomy between the two when it comes to marriage in which 1) north american women link marriage more to love (over security) and 2) caribbean women (again this is a generalization so don't bark at me) tend to associate marriage more with security rather than love

thought i'd throw in my two cents worth
ken.... you're welcome to rebuttle/ridicule anything i said since you seem to be good at attacking me

[Indie]

Well hello, Lee-Lee! Welcome back! Where have you been?

[suarezn]

I have to agree with Lee-Lee here to a certain extent. I think it happens in any country, not just the DR. The level of economic stability is what drives these women to look for security more than love. In other words a woman who's financially secure is unlikely to go for a man just because he has money, if there's no love. On the other hand a girl in the DR who's not educated, has no hopes of ever becoming financially independent, is a lot more likely to forgo love for the security she may get from a well-to-do man. What ends up occurring a lot of times is that they try to get both. They will marry the foreigner, older man, etc...for the money while still seeing their true love behind their husband's backs. There's also a matter of culture. For whatever reason, marriage is a much bigger deal here in the US and definitely viewed as a lifelong committment. As such people are very leery of marrying someone who they're not in love with. I would say in general (stereotype) in the DR marriage is not viewed like that at all. It's more like...Well, let's get married and see how long this lasts. For that same reason, almost nobody nowdays gets married by the church. I also think that the "making it legal" part is not viewed as important. In the campos it is extremely common for people to just elope and live together as marido y mujer (as stated earlier by PIB). My parents, for instance have lived together for 40 years, have 6 kids together and have never married.

[Timex]

1st I am a guy.
2nd My thoughts don't go to your question.

But.......

My thoughts on the, importance of being married.
Looking at my parents, which I have been directly responsible for, the last 15 years.

Things that I would have never thought of like-
Retirement benefits.
Health benefits.
SURVIVOR benefits, including money and property.

Certain things, are due the other, because they were in fact married. If they had chosen to live together, some of these benefits, would not be extended to the other partner.
In some areas, the world this starting to change, but mostly, I think it's still in the dark ages.

Pick which couple, you would want to be.
Take 2 couples, filled with a life time of love and commitment.
1 is married, the other not, they live next door to each other. The husbands work in the same office, the wives both work as school teacher's. As they start a life together, raise a family, go into the golden years, 1 partner, for each couple, has serious health problems for many years, and then, passes away.
You are the surviving spouse. Which one would you want to be?

I had a small family to begin with. I've buried 2, and I'm starting to really worry about the last 2, my mom and dad.

I have always lived my life as an adventure.
We only get 1 ticket to ride, no refunds, no 2nd chances.
My 8 years in the Navy, allowed me to fullfil every single fantasy, I could think up.
I’m glade I got all that stuff out of my system, when I was younger.

I was lucky that I found a woman, who wanted to be my partner for life, through all the up's, down's, happy, sad, excitement, disappointment, that we all must go through. My wife, who just flew to NY, and spent every day of 3 months, going to visit my dad in the hospital. When she wasn't at the hospital, she was taking care of my mother, and came home in time for my birthday.
There are no guarantees in life, but this one is a keeper.

As CrissColon said, I want my partner to have full rights to everything, WE have.

I am not advocating, for/against marriage. Some people, are better flying solo, and others with a co-pilot. I am the latter.

Is Marriage required for Happiness, definatly not.
Thats a state of mind, just like the big O.

Forgive me for straying..

Thanks
Tim H.

[Timex]

So many views!!!
Allot of people read the ???????????????
I thought at least some would have the guts to post, which 1 they would want to be!!!!!!!!!

Tim H.

[rubio]

In my opinion, Dominican women (as do women of other ethnicities) marry in order to better themselves as much as possible, i.e. finding a man with more money than they have alone.

Money + Prosperity + Romance(love) = the perfect marriage

It depends on what the woman values more. So it varies.