Anyone care to comment on this?

Musicqueen · #1 09-20-2003, 08:57 AM

"My observation was, quite simply, that women your age that are not married have obviously missed the "true love" boat. If you could trust another with your entire life and future, you'd know what I mean."

This is a direct quote from bobnoxious in response to another thread I started.

My response is that if I "could trust another human being with my entire life and future"...I would have done it by now!!!

(By the way, I was married for 15 years...have three wonderful children and a beautiful granddaughter who's 10 months old already, just in case someone didn't already know...I think I not only didn't miss the 'true love boat'...my life is a transatlantic!)

Unfortunately, there is no such human being on earth! Most of the men I meet are plain 'peleles'...we just try to make the 'best lemonade' possible with the lemons we are given!

There is only one being I trust with my entire life and future, and that's GOD!

Do you ladies think that we need to be married to be truly happy?

I don't!!!

Chopical · #2 09-20-2003, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Musicqueen
Do you ladies think that we need to be married to be truly happy?

I don't!!!

Wow! This thread appears to be out of nowhere. Anyways, people reffer to their spouces often as "their better half" but no I don't think you need to be married to be truely happy. Though married men live longer than single man, usually that's because their wives nag them to go to their doctors and keep on them about taking care of their health. Men live shorter lives, women get sick more often in life. Damn! Who did I turn this into a medical health bit-I've been doing too much studying. Oh well...

Dominican Babe · #3 09-20-2003, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Musicqueen
[IUnfortunately, there is no such human being on earth! Most of the men I meet are plain 'peleles'...we just try to make the 'best lemonade' possible with the lemons we are given!

There is only one being I trust with my entire life and future, and that's GOD!

Do you ladies think that we need to be married to be truly happy?

I don't!!!

[/I]

MQ - I lurrrve the reference to lemonade - it's truly inspirational!

But, no, we certainly DO NOT need to be married tobe truly happy. As most of you will know, I recently got married. It is my first marriage and I am 46 years old (No, surely not!

). However, prior to my marriage, I was certainly NOT unhappy. There are different degrees of happiness, and "happiness" means different things at different times in your life. I can honestly say that I have never been very unhappy regardless of my marital status. If I don;t like something in my life, I change it! Simple!

And now that I am married, I am still happy, although part of me sometimes is sad because we have to live apart for the time being - him in DR, me in England. Not an ideal start to a marriage, I know. But hey, I'm happy nonetheless! It's just that if we were together, I would be even more happy!

(Sorry if I'm a bit rambly tonite, I'm a little drunk!)

Chopical · #4 09-21-2003, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dominican Babe
I am 46 years old (No, surely not! ).

Oh my gosh! I always thought of you as in your late teens or early twenties. O_O

bobnoxious · #5 09-21-2003, 03:50 AM

Nobody said that to be happy is to be married...but for some reason, the two seem to go together when it works right. And you made my point. You can't find a person that you could trust with your life and future (or you would have done it by now). I find that sad.

Let me give you an example. A close friend of mine came down with a terrible sickness and was hospitalized (at the age of 34). He was there for months. The doctors couldn't diagnose it, but he was dying. Who was at his side every day...his wife...making sure he was treated properly. When the end was near, they put a respirator and feeding tube into him. The doctors said they could keep him alive indefinitely this way. His family couldn't come to grips with this condition and clung to a belief that some miracle would fix him. He continued to waste away (3 months on machines). His wife stepped in and said "enough". "This is not the way he would want to live". She made arrangements to have the equipment removed. The family went to court, to stop her from "killing" him. She stood her ground and convinced the court that her path was the one he would desire. She was finally allowed to let him slip away. She is now a widow with a toddler and a big empty space in her life.

The point is...who do you have in your life that you would entrust with this decision? Who could you call on to preserve your dignity and prevent your pain? Who would be at your side every day till the end?

A true love bond of marriage to a person you cherish is an incredible and powerful thing. It gives you strength and piece of mind. God has given all of us an opportunity to experience this. And he has given each person the power to destroy it. Those who are unable to find or maintain this treasure are unfortunate.

I hope that you have a long and wonderful life. I hope you never find yourself in a place where you need that certain "someone" and they are not there. And I hope that your quest for happiness is fulfilled.

So sayeth Sir Bob of Noxious to the Queen!

Musicqueen · #6 09-21-2003, 07:47 AM

I'm gonna quote myself, because apparently you didn't read my post completely:

Quote:

Originally posted by Musicqueen

(By the way, I was married for 15 years...have three wonderful children and a beautiful granddaughter who's 10 months old already, just in case someone didn't already know...I think I not only didn't miss the 'true love boat'...my life is a transatlantic!)

Unfortunately, there is no such human being on earth! Most of the men I meet are plain 'peleles'...we just try to make the 'best lemonade' possible with the lemons we are given!

There is only one being I trust with my entire life and future, and that's GOD!

I DON'T NEED A MAN TO TAKE CARE OF ME...!!!

I would love to find someone I can SHARE the rest of my life with, but I don't necessarily NEED a man to be happy!

Read again: I HAVE THREE WONDERFUL KIDS AND A GRANDCHILD ALREADY...

I think I raised them right, and they will surely be by my side if I ever needed it.

Besides, I also have 2 sisters and 3 brothers, lots of nephews, and friends...people I know, love and trust...

I don't think having a man by my side would guarantee that he would be there if I ever really NEEDED him!

It's because of guys with your way of thinking that I'm single...we live in the 21st Century...when are you gonna get it???

MaineGirl · #7 09-21-2003, 08:56 AM

"Truly happy" is a relative term.

I love what Bob said. I am married. Am I truly happy? Half the time I want to scream, but the other half of the time it'spretty glorious.

Whether you are married or not, it is the attitude that you form about your relationships that will make the difference.

As for me and my man, we both know that even when things are rocky, no one is going anywhere. We've picked each other for life companions and we are in it for the long haul.

That is comforting!

goatfarmnga · #8 09-21-2003, 09:52 AM

That was a touching story! My sister lost her 33 yr old husband almost two years ago in a helicopter crash and she still can not look at another man "that way".. Now a widow with a toddler...True love is hard to find and it is truly happiness when you find that one..
As MQ said she was married 15 yrs..that in itself is a long time in this day and age! Kudos to the grandbaby.

What a great world we live in where you can find another human being to cherish you until old age and death. That is the ideal situation I think. BUT not all people are unhappy because they are not married. I have a 38 yr old friend that was a stripper in her college years so she is no slacker! She is just as pretty as a picture and smart. Lives in a 1/2 million dollar home she paid for herself and raised a 19 yr old son by herself..She is a prominent realtor and could have any man she wants..But chooses to remain single as she finds herself happiest that way. Different strokes for different folks!

What makes someone happy may make someone else miserable. I am just happy to have someone to cook breakfast for me!

Sometimes it is the little things that make you happiest! Pam

Danny W · #9 09-21-2003, 09:58 AM

And the answer is:

Happiness is an inner state. Neither being married or single is the decisive factor. I've been both, with a great family. Now I'm single. When my head is together (or the planets are favorable) I'm happy. When I'm not, it's because I'm too stupid to see the beauty all around me. - D

Musicqueen · #10 09-21-2003, 10:19 AM

Apparently, there are still reasonable men out there...my search must continue!

I wake up with a prayer everyday to thank God for all the beautiful things I have all around me... my family, health, job, money to pay my debts, and a whole lot more...

And for the chance to do with a new canvas anything I want...I know right from wrong and I try to make the best choices...which is the only thing we CAN do in this life...

If love ever finds me again, then it will be MORE THAN WELCOMED into my life...in the meantime, I'm having fun! No regrets!