How do you feel
 

To our Domincanos...here, when someone of a another/race/nationality/planet makes or stereo type a Dominicano as a bad man or husband/mate? Saying that your only out for one thing or are only good for...? There are so many comments here bashing Dominican men in general...I was just wondering how does it make you feel? Or does it not effect you at all?
The reason I ask I'm married to one....a damn good one in every aspect possible...and I know he would not have no one bad talking....and wont put up with. He is proud of his country and culture.....and acknowledge that there are some out there that makes the good ones look bad but defends his country where here on this board I see so many comments like.....another one has fallen as if there are no good Dominicanos out there!

The intent of this thread is not start a commotion but just really wondering....I know(or at least hope most of the men here on the board do not fit or match what..others may think of Dominicanos but even though it doesn't apply to you, do you get offened?

Again the intent is not to start a commotion or a huge dispute!!!

It's all generalizations. I am Dominican- born and raised and I do not fall into any of the stereotypes. I was raised to know better and have respect.

I have never met anyone that tried to pigeon-hold me into a stereotype. When someone finds out I am Dominican, I find they usually know very little about where I come from. Often times, I must educate them, and in a sense, that's a good thing.


Leo

I am also married to a Dominican and I do not get offended by the comments on this board. I know who and what my husband is all about.

People generalize everyday about everything in the world.

As a Sign Language Interpreter - I meet a lot of people who generalize about Deaf people and interpreters and make the most outrageous statements as to what they believe is true.

An example:

"I know a Deaf-Mute that can lip-read. Does that mean All Deaf people are mute and can lip read?"

WRONG - Deaf people are not mute - they have a voice they just do not use it. They use their hands to communicate in Sign Language and their voice(opinions) can be heard/understood by others. Depending on the upbringing and education some Deaf people can lip-read very well, where others do not rely on this method to communicate at all.

This gets frustrating to hear almost everyday but leo_DR is right when he says:

"I find they usually know very little about where I come from. Often times, I must educate them, and in a sense, that's a good thing."

Education and Awareness is the key! Having facts and knowledge lessens the chance of one making generalizations and offending others.

While not Dominican, I agree with leo_DR and Rosanie, its all about persons and not about stereotypes.

DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

To all you Domenicanos, not all 'gringos' believe the BS they hear! Don't believe all you hear about the 'gringos' either :classic:


MD

The traps that gringos fall in is taking the viewpoint of their significant other, and use that as the basis of how all Dominicans are without getting more objective opinions. Then also getting viewpoints about DR from people who cater to gringos in the bars, is really not the best place you will get quality info. You may now where Joe the drug dealer, or jimmy the pimp, or martha the street hooker did last night, but they won't know the goings on of your hardworking Dominicans in "El Campo" or in the cities.

There understanding of the island go no further than Trujillo without understanding fully the who history of the island except what they read in history books about Cristopher Colombus the Clown.

Then you get gringos who learn the language and read the local papers or watch the local news and make judgements and compare the people to how they lived in the states, Canada or Europe. And what do you get, I bunch of guys complaining in almost every post.

hehehe Bring it on ;)

Sancochojoe

LOL. Gringo's can't win can they :classic:. Luckily you've told me your definition of gringo's.....

I try to withold judgement on almost all cases, suggest some try this as well :classic:

MD

That's what I'm saying.....

While you may hear horror stories about Dominican men, Sankies, Putas etc of course when you hear all the whining you think that is all there is. While these stories happen to be true I am sure that there are other stories that can warm your heart.

I know a lot of Dominican men that fit the profiles you hear about on this board and I know a lot that do NOT.

I got a kick out of reading a womans diatribe about the US and how Roosevelt would be turning over in his grave yesterday on one of the threads. However it is just one persons opinion just as your opinions are just one persons opinion.

Take generalities with the preverbial grain of salt and you will be less offended and feel less of a need to offend in kind.

Escott

I'm not sooo much offended......you know the good outway the bad(so they say) but if I were a person that had never been to DR or have been around Dominicans in the US...then I would think twice about going because of all the generalization and stereotyping.....and negativity that is posted here....beleive me I know I have been around them all (have family in Washington Heights).... and I am related to men who do fit the stereotype. It just would be nice for let say a "newcomer" to see some positive things as well. Don't get me wrong it is good that we are honest....and can give advise to people who might be naive or overwhelmed by the "love" that poor out from these men.......and women.

But some people might be taken aback and totally change their minds about the country and people....I'm sure we can agree that there is no place like Quisqueya la Bella.....
And missing out on it is missing out on a lot

You said it yourself, "the good outweighs the bad" There is a lot of solid, constructive information that is given here about the DR. If a reader is only going to focus on the negative things that are said, then I'd say that person is either very immature or wants to visit a perfect place, and where would that be? People are the same the world over. I sincerely don't get where you're going with this.

I think it's clear where I was going....how the Dominican men feel when they read....all the bashing that goes on here about "dominican men" in general and put them in one catergory....unless I'm not reading something you are...I've heard postive comments about the country...yes but I yet to hear a positive remark about a Domincan man...unless it's a women married to one and that's defending him......all they say is how he spends his money on alcohol...and ask for handouts ...... yadayadayada.....
We don't here how they break they're backs...to try and put meat on the table...para no comer platano vacio...

I just don't get it....
 

I was responding mostly to this section of your post. Again, why would people not visit a country because of some negativity they here about the men of that particular country? Unless you're going there to find a husband, I dont think they should care about that when there is so much more good information generated here.

Re: I just don't get it....
 

Let's say a young innocent women...about 19-23 single....was planning on visiting the country, but heard that the resort workers are all womenizers (majority but not all)....looking for money who take advantage of females blazae blazae....she might want to make a U turn before even getting there. Maybe she may not be going to look for a man......but just to avoid being targeted...or being prey avoids the country all togerther.
(this is just my opinion)

That really wasn't where I was going with it...though I may have veered off the path a little..........

I really just wanted input from Dominican men born in DR or not.....how they felt about people sterotyping them.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lissy
[B]Let's say a young innocent women...about 19-23 single....was planning on visiting the country, but heard that the resort workers are all womenizers (majority but not all)....looking for money who take advantage of females blazae blazae....she might want to make a U turn before even getting there. Maybe she may not be going to look for a man......but just to avoid being targeted...or being prey avoids the country all togerther.
(this is just my opinion)


Wrong. They should be told what awaits them.

Lissy a very smart Dominican woman on this board had this to say when I complained about the negative things being said.

" Consider the source" and move on. Did you see the Thanksgiving Day pictures? It didn't stop anyone from coming down and enjoying the country and it's people. It's like the newpapers, people love to write and read the crap. Go have a look at the stickies in this forum. The positive stories about Dominicans
click here to read

You're making generalizations about me and I am offended. I am a real person not a stereotype damnit! When are you going to get over this "all whities are ..." bullship and just learn to get along? You spend all your time in DC with the darkies and have no real knowledge of us white folks from the midwest. Shame on you, you hypocrite, bigoted, white bread hating, stereotyping race-monger!

Can't we stop the stereotyping and all just get along? I have a dream, of a day when all people of color stop their war against honkies like me, open their eyes, and judge us by the content of my character, not the lack of melanin in my skin. It's not my fault I was born this way! It's not my fault I was born to succeed just because I'm pale! You know it was preordained! You know I can slack off all day, drink, party, and still I couldn't fail if I wanted to thanks to this damn pale skin! So, stop picking on me for God's sake man!

Tom (aka XR)

Ok let's not turn this into a race thing. The question was how do Dominicans in particular men feel about the things being said on this board. I'm back you know and ready to hit that delete button. ;)

This is what I'm getting at....he's make generalizations of you as most people due on this board of all Dominican men...you never here them say except fulanito de tal...or the guys who does this or that...they are all lumped into one catergory, and I get offended...one because I'm married to one...two because my son is one (or half).....so Dominican men in general are looked down on and got forbid you get a visa and go to NY.....

Anna- thanks....as stated the good out weighs the bad (so they say) but you have to go digging for the good.....and if you go into just about any topic in the General forum all the negativity is there...and the source it's coming from....well I'll stay quiet on that one cause I don't know anyone except for what I read.....and I'm smart enough to beleive half of what I read.......

Forbeca.....last I knew someone's opinion could not be right nor wrong....that's why it's called an opinion!

Oh, Anna, you know it would be getting around to that sooner or later. Just thought I'd save the time and bandwidth by making the shortcut.

The point that I was trying to make is that the vast majority of people who post opinions on Dominican behavior actually live here, have lived here for many years, have families, friends, and plenty of experiences well beyond the stereotypical gringo posited by Joe. It's not fair to dismiss those experiences as being stereotyped by the thinly vieled cover he offered for his racially baiting post.

It's also, as usual, quite amusing to see opinions and experiences of people who actually live with, in, and among Dominicans dismissed as a 'stereotype' by a Dominican living in the United States who steadfastly refuses to back up his 'opinions' with any documentation at all of his background so others could judge whether they have any validity or not.

When reading Joe's posts on life in the Dominican Republic, as you said, Anna, it would be best to consider the source. Carefully.

Tom (aka XR)

I'm still looking back at my post where I mentioned Race or whity on this post and I can't seem to find it.

Xanaduranch stop taking things so personal, is it hitting at home. .;)

The topic was stereotypes of Dominicans and now Xanaduranch is upset he is stereotyped. Gee, at least Xandu can defend himself

Well, that's exactly my point!!!
 

Those readers you mentioned should apply this as well!!!

I am not in the least bit upset. Posts such as these lay bare the bigoted biases of the writer without my assistance.

The subject was stereotyping of Dominican men by non-Dominicans on this board.

I expect such stereotyping of me, as your posts clearly do, but rarely complain about it because the source of the comments, and the idiocy of the comments themselves generally don't warrant a reply. I would suggest to my Dominican friends when faced with some ignorant stereotypical comment to do the same. Set them right, then consider the source and ignore it. If you keep protesting then my opinion would be that there was enough truth in the remark that it hit a little to close to home.

Your stereotyping of 'Gringo's' as above can only be considered as racially motivated. If you lived here you might have the thin cover of explaining that you were referring to all foreigners, black or white, but since you yourself would fall under the category of 'gringo' since you don't live in the Dominican Republic ignorance of the difference can not be used as an excuse.

But, since this went flying right over your head, let me explain it to you one more time: My post was intended to point out in a humorous way, using parody, that it is hypocritcal to complain about being stereotyped while doing it yourself at the very same time.

Tom (aka XR)

I see more bashing of Dominicans, especially dominican men. This is how I look at it, Gringos look at Dominican men as their competition to the single prize. Whats that you may ask?

Dominican woman.

So what do you get, Dominincan men are this and dominican men are that. They are Chopos, or "I'm the better than the best Dominican man". It goes on and on. I'm going back and reading old post of my opponents and I swear to you it is nothing but bashing of Dominican Males. Some guys even put the Dominican Hooker over a Dominican Male.

I might just take the time to gather all the quotes said negative about Dominican men just to prove my point.

Its the simple Divide and Conquer mentality.

Parrotty?
 

I think you need to lower your sights al ittle, Tom. Your parrotty was flying too high, obviously.

C'mon people, lighten up. Stan.

Can we hear from some REAL Dominican men out there please. I know you're there reading. These two boys aren't and one of them (correct me if I'm wrong) has never even been to the DR.


Thank you

Only if you new where I was from, who my parents are and where I've been and where I go you would say different. I personally would not even waste my time joining DR1 if I've never been, lived or was born or had parents or grandparents born on the island. Thats all I have to say. Of course if your referring to me. ;)

Defender of the Defenseless!!!

Whatever.
 

You've been taking lessons at moving your lips while saying nothing from LTSnyder apparently. Consider the source. Since we can obviously count out me and ol' Joe, any Dominican men here that care to comment? Preferably someone who admits to actually living here?

I've heard that opinions are the lowest form of human intellect, but that just my opinion.

it would seem, Sancochojoe that you are a glass half empty type person with a chip on your shoulder. I've met and know many Dominican men that do not meet the stereotype that you profess us 'gringo" group all Dominicans in. It would seem that your definition of a gringo is a white person. This is a very racist attitude you convey, and since you obviously take umbridge at others having racist attitudes, perhaps you shoul "' Walk the walk, and talk the talk.
Thats all this Gringo married to a Dominicana has to say.

So what's the big secret Joe. Why don't you tell us? I was sure you told me that you've been to the Caribbean but not the DR itself. But I could be wrong.

Actually you are wrong. There is no secret, and I've never seen bios of anybody else on this forum except where they live at this current time and there mug shots on DR1. I've followed the same protocol so I don't see why I should overextend myself. But just know that my blood does flow in the caribbean.

whoo boyy its pick on Sancochojoe day. Can I cut the cake.
If i'm referring to a white person, I will say white people and not ashamed to say it. The topic appears to be the otherway around.
The life of a Gringo is half full and the life of a Dominican man is half empty in your eyes on the island. I don't live my life as a pesimist and I'm not the angry one posting here. I only rebut the anger you and others lash out toward the way and life of dominicans, especially dominican men.

Its ashame you can't see that but o' well, no sweat off my back.

Stereo XR?
 

That is sure not what I met in the Dominican. I met a former gringo who has learned to live with all races of people in the DR. He had no competition in getting his prize, a beautiful dominican bride.



My 2 cents worth

My Last Word.
 

That's B.S. and you know it.

I and many others in other threads have posted our qualifications on numerous occasions to allow readers to have some idea of the validity of our beliefs. You have no right to be taken seriously, and indeed will not be, if you can't answer a simple straight forward question about the background that led you to believe what you believe.

Frankly all this whining about you're being picked on just from being asked a simple "Where do you live" has become very tiresome. Find another tune, or bow out of the discussion.

Tom (aka XR)

Re: My Last Word.
 

Xan, most people know where I live, my picture is on DR1 of the party we had at my home and under the post Northern VA where I advertised for a large party in Virginia. Where we had over 40 Dominicans at my home and a couple of DR1 members.

I'm not being secretive at all, but where I live definately does not dictate my beliefs. I'm a worldly man, my beliefs is not relegated behind borders.

And Xan, I still don't know your qualifications. The only qualifications I know about you is that you don't like me ::bored:
But I like you ;)

ohh boy, this is getting good:

I will ask you straight out Joe. Besides your bunch of Dominican friends that you always refer to what is your connection to the Republica Dominicana? I don't want to hear how you've been all over the Caribbean I only want to know your connection to the DR.

Straight answer please.

Hope you're having fun...
 

It seems to me you, and a few others (you know who you are)like to bait people. It's all a game to you people.

Ana, what it yours? I don't know yours.

I just know you live in Canada, so what does that tell me.

Forbeca

I'm not baiting anybody, I simply don't agree with some of you guys. Some of you have this one world view thats a bunch of crap. Now you are angry because you are being challanged.

You're avoiding the question figers! I've been on this board for 4 years and everyone knows everything about me. Born in Sicily from Sicilian parents. We came to Canada when I was 7 years old. I married a Sicilian. Was married for 20 years. Have three great kids and three grandkids. Been coming to the DR since 88 and if I didn't love my kids so much I would be living in the DR right now.

Now your turn

ok

1. Wife is Dominican who is an Agricultural Engineer her brother is a preacher and a sister who is a Doctor. Her mother had land stripped from her during the Trujillo reign, but later was given a home by Baleguer.
2. Have a distant great aunt who is Dominican but that does not classify me, nor do I claim to be, nor do I know her, just know she existed based on my grandma.
3. My immediate family is Cuban/Jamiacan where we hold 100 acres in Montego Bay, actually 95, but great grandma gave 5 acres to her doctor before she died. Some of my family migrated from Cuba and Jamaica to work on the Panama Canal before moving up to the states.
4. My wife and I own a small home in Santo Domingo in Honduras where her mom and brother and sister currently live
5. We've adopted a Dominincan baby girl who was abandoned by a Hooker and she is 8 months old staying with my Brother-in-law in La Vega, until the US processes the paperwork. We named her Annabelle Pena
6. duh- I frequent the island quite often so I don't need to say that.
7. The only reason I hang out in DR because its the closest thing to Cuba that I'm not allowed to go to, due to who I work for.
8. I may plan to live in DR but if the US ever open the borders in Cuba, thats where I choose to grow old and die and return by body to its birth right, if not Jamaica or DR is where I will grow old and die.
9. We live in VA on 7 acres in a log home, where we raise goats.
10. we are registerrd Foster Parents in the State of VA and we take care of Teenage abused or single Latin Mothers in a program called (Host Homes)

Thats all your going to get from me.

Thank you so much for your answer Joe. Now we can back to Topic.