How do you feel

Lissy · #1 12-11-2003, 04:58 PM

To our Domincanos...here, when someone of a another/race/nationality/planet makes or stereo type a Dominicano as a bad man or husband/mate? Saying that your only out for one thing or are only good for...? There are so many comments here bashing Dominican men in general...I was just wondering how does it make you feel? Or does it not effect you at all?
The reason I ask I'm married to one....a damn good one in every aspect possible...and I know he would not have no one bad talking....and wont put up with. He is proud of his country and culture.....and acknowledge that there are some out there that makes the good ones look bad but defends his country where here on this board I see so many comments like.....another one has fallen as if there are no good Dominicanos out there!

The intent of this thread is not start a commotion but just really wondering....I know(or at least hope most of the men here on the board do not fit or match what..others may think of Dominicanos but even though it doesn't apply to you, do you get offened?

Again the intent is not to start a commotion or a huge dispute!!!

leo_DR · #2 12-11-2003, 06:03 PM

It's all generalizations. I am Dominican- born and raised and I do not fall into any of the stereotypes. I was raised to know better and have respect.

I have never met anyone that tried to pigeon-hold me into a stereotype. When someone finds out I am Dominican, I find they usually know very little about where I come from. Often times, I must educate them, and in a sense, that's a good thing.

Leo

Rosanie · #3 12-12-2003, 08:23 AM

I am also married to a Dominican and I do not get offended by the comments on this board. I know who and what my husband is all about.

People generalize everyday about everything in the world.

As a Sign Language Interpreter - I meet a lot of people who generalize about Deaf people and interpreters and make the most outrageous statements as to what they believe is true.

An example:

"I know a Deaf-Mute that can lip-read. Does that mean All Deaf people are mute and can lip read?"

WRONG - Deaf people are not mute - they have a voice they just do not use it. They use their hands to communicate in Sign Language and their voice(opinions) can be heard/understood by others. Depending on the upbringing and education some Deaf people can lip-read very well, where others do not rely on this method to communicate at all.

This gets frustrating to hear almost everyday but leo_DR is right when he says:

"I find they usually know very little about where I come from. Often times, I must educate them, and in a sense, that's a good thing."

Education and Awareness is the key! Having facts and knowledge lessens the chance of one making generalizations and offending others.

MerengueDutchie · #4 12-12-2003, 08:35 AM

While not Dominican, I agree with leo_DR and Rosanie, its all about persons and not about stereotypes.

DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

To all you Domenicanos, not all 'gringos' believe the BS they hear! Don't believe all you hear about the 'gringos' either

MD

sancochojoe · #5 12-12-2003, 10:16 AM

The traps that gringos fall in is taking the viewpoint of their significant other, and use that as the basis of how all Dominicans are without getting more objective opinions. Then also getting viewpoints about DR from people who cater to gringos in the bars, is really not the best place you will get quality info. You may now where Joe the drug dealer, or jimmy the pimp, or martha the street hooker did last night, but they won't know the goings on of your hardworking Dominicans in "El Campo" or in the cities.

There understanding of the island go no further than Trujillo without understanding fully the who history of the island except what they read in history books about Cristopher Colombus the Clown.

Then you get gringos who learn the language and read the local papers or watch the local news and make judgements and compare the people to how they lived in the states, Canada or Europe. And what do you get, I bunch of guys complaining in almost every post.

hehehe Bring it on

MerengueDutchie · #6 12-12-2003, 10:39 AM

Sancochojoe

LOL. Gringo's can't win can they

. Luckily you've told me your definition of gringo's.....

I try to withold judgement on almost all cases, suggest some try this as well

MD

Lissy · #7 12-12-2003, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sancochojoe
The traps that gringos fall in is taking the viewpoint of their significant other, and use that as the basis of how all Dominicans are without getting more objective opinions. Then also getting viewpoints about DR from people who cater to gringos in the bars, is really not the best place you will get quality info. You may now where Joe the drug dealer, or jimmy the pimp, or martha the street hooker did last night, but they won't know the goings on of your hardworking Dominicans in "El Campo" or in the cities.

There understanding of the island go no further than Trujillo without understanding fully the who history of the island except what they read in history books about Cristopher Colombus the Clown.

Then you get gringos who learn the language and read the local papers or watch the local news and make judgements and compare the people to how they lived in the states, Canada or Europe. And what do you get, I bunch of guys complaining in almost every post.

hehehe Bring it on

That's what I'm saying.....

Escott · #8 12-12-2003, 11:28 AM

While you may hear horror stories about Dominican men, Sankies, Putas etc of course when you hear all the whining you think that is all there is. While these stories happen to be true I am sure that there are other stories that can warm your heart.

I know a lot of Dominican men that fit the profiles you hear about on this board and I know a lot that do NOT.

I got a kick out of reading a womans diatribe about the US and how Roosevelt would be turning over in his grave yesterday on one of the threads. However it is just one persons opinion just as your opinions are just one persons opinion.

Take generalities with the preverbial grain of salt and you will be less offended and feel less of a need to offend in kind.

Escott

Lissy · #9 12-12-2003, 11:48 AM

I'm not sooo much offended......you know the good outway the bad(so they say) but if I were a person that had never been to DR or have been around Dominicans in the US...then I would think twice about going because of all the generalization and stereotyping.....and negativity that is posted here....beleive me I know I have been around them all (have family in Washington Heights).... and I am related to men who do fit the stereotype. It just would be nice for let say a "newcomer" to see some positive things as well. Don't get me wrong it is good that we are honest....and can give advise to people who might be naive or overwhelmed by the "love" that poor out from these men.......and women.

But some people might be taken aback and totally change their minds about the country and people....I'm sure we can agree that there is no place like Quisqueya la Bella.....
And missing out on it is missing out on a lot

Forbeca · #10 12-12-2003, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lissy
I'm not sooo much offended......you know the good outway the bad(so they say) but if I were a person that had never been to DR or have been around Dominicans in the US...then I would think twice about going because of all the generalization and stereotyping.....and negativity that is posted here....beleive me I know I have been around them all (have family in Washington Heights).... and I am related to men who do fit the stereotype. It just would be nice for let say a "newcomer" to see some positive things as well. Don't get me wrong it is good that we are honest....and can give advise to people who might be naive or overwhelmed by the "love" that poor out from these men.......and women.

You said it yourself, "the good outweighs the bad" There is a lot of solid, constructive information that is given here about the DR. If a reader is only going to focus on the negative things that are said, then I'd say that person is either very immature or wants to visit a perfect place, and where would that be? People are the same the world over. I sincerely don't get where you're going with this.