taking a closer look at the actual count

MerengueDutchie · #1 12-18-2003, 06:37 AM

To all the people who have been posting here re relationships between Dominicans and foreigners. How many have actually had a succesful relationship and how many failed?

By succesful I mean for a period longer than 1 holiday

I've read the unnumerable posts re this subject but I would be interested in doing an actual count. I realise that this does not constitute a true census, since participation is non-random but it would still yield some interesting data, with which we could possibly shed some actual light on the everlasting debate.

I will start off. I had a nice Domenican girlfriend, who now lives in NY with her family. No money, help or expensive presents changed hands, we are still in contact, but I don't know when I will see her again so for now I consider this a write-off.

Regards,

MD

MrMike · #2 12-18-2003, 09:06 AM

I married one. It has not been easy, probably cultural differences have been the cause of our biggest problems, but I never had a successful relationship with an American girl so I don't really have a reference point.

We dated for over a year befiore getting marrieed, and have now been married over a year as well. That's quite a few holidays, but maybe still too soon to label "successful". The way I feel right now I wouldn't trade her for anybody, but I wouldn't recommend foreigners rushing headlong into long term relationships with locals either, certainly not before they have a really clear idea what they are getting into - most of the ones posting questions about this on this board seem very naive.

carl ericson70 · #3 12-18-2003, 10:06 AM

MD,
I'm in a relationship with a dominican woman that I met right here in the states.The biggest hurdle has been simply-adjusting to the way that others respond to a couple of two different skin colors.Not to mention cultural differences!

I'm of a scandinavian/american background and I was always taught to be frugal and save for a rainy day.My gal(like many dominicans)on the other hand has been brought-up to live life on a day-to-day basis and let god take care of the future.So,she has some bad spending habits,that contrast my own and complicate our relationship somewhat.Other than that I would say it's a healthy relationship.

Carl e

Dominican Babe · #4 12-18-2003, 10:10 AM

"Successful" is too hard to define. I married my Dominican man in 6 months ago after having known him for over 4 years, and I consider our relationship to be successful. But who knows what the future will bring?

I know a lady who was married for 42 years then her husband left her for a younger model - so was that a successful relationship or not? In the end you have to say it wasn't because they are no longer together, but on the other hand I certainly don't know anyone else who has been happily married for that long!

IMHO "success" has to be measured "now" because you never know what is round the corner.

maggiemay · #5 12-18-2003, 11:42 AM

I've been together with my husband for almost 11 years...married 8 and lived together 3 before that...education and upbringing are very important when you marry a Dominican I think, somehow I don't think if I'd married an illiterate motoconcho driver we'd still be together.!??!

sancochojoe · #6 12-18-2003, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carl ericson70
MD,
I'm in a relationship with a dominican woman that I met right here in the states.The biggest hurdle has been simply-adjusting to the way that others respond to a couple of two different skin colors.Not to mention cultural differences!

I'm of a scandinavian/american background and I was always taught to be frugal and save for a rainy day.My gal(like many dominicans)on the other hand has been brought-up to live life on a day-to-day basis and let god take care of the future.So,she has some bad spending habits,that contrast my own and complicate our relationship somewhat.Other than that I would say it's a healthy relationship.

Carl e

I think that might be a woman that just like to shop and spend money

I havn't met too many frugal woman. I think thats a male trait

XanaduRanch · #7 12-18-2003, 01:30 PM

Alba and I have been (mostly!) happily together for 2-1/2 years. Our 2nd wedding anniversay is coming in early March. And that's with fighting age, cultural, and language barriers the whole time.

Still, neither of us could imagine life without the other. She doesn't know it yet but I have a dozen roses waiting for her here right now ... :: smile ::

Tom (aka XR)

P.S.
Alba, for one, is not a spend thrift. She's one Dominicana that knows how to manage her money to take care of the family.

papillon · #8 12-18-2003, 01:38 PM

We had our 34th wedding anniversary in August. I am Dominican and my wife is American. We are both profesionals and have always been employed. We have two kids (both college grads) and a grandson. We lived in the states for a while, lived in the DR for a while, and now are living in the states again. When we retire we plan to go back to the DR. I would say our relationship is successful.
Greetings from Michigan

dwntwn22 · #9 12-19-2003, 12:36 PM

Well I hope you will consider this a success...I married my dominican man after being together for a year and have been married almost a year also...my biggest adjustment has been getting used to his food and the smell of fried foods in my house and his has been learning to shovel snow here in Pittsburgh, and that its actually quiet at night.
This could also be a sucess for a second reason...he used to work in annimation....so for everyone that believes all resort workers are sankies, there are a few that are not. But I will let you know in a few years if things change..

MerengueDutchie · #10 12-26-2003, 12:09 PM

who have responded so kindly..

Thank you.

The current score is then 7 good, 1 write-off..

From the posts on this forum I must say I would expect a different balance, but then again maybe the non-succesfull ones aren't posting anymore?

My write-off experience certainly hasn't put me off the DR!

MD