How do you safeguard your heart?

Talldrink · #1 04-04-2005, 11:17 AM

With all the stories about sankies and how 'charming' (AKA Mueleros) Dominican men are, how do you keep from falling in love with one of them?

This is what I mean and BTW this is NOT directed at the foreigner that took her first trip there yesterday and now is in love with Pedro from Casa Dorada. This is directed more to the Dominican (born there or from Dominican parents) that go back and forth throughout the year (or only in December like most) and KNOW firsthand about the Dominican culture and the men.

So OK, lets suppose you are single, you work, you can afford to rent a car, have property there and like to go out. There are some guys that do not appear to be a Sankie Criollo (Sankie that lives outside of a resort - new word for DR1). This guy works and goes to school, but still at the end of the trip, you are here and he is there. My feelings have always been not to actually fall for a guy that cannot come see me in the US. I'm always saying that I will not be with anyone that I would have to 'do papers for' and I'm certainly not ready to move back - so why bother.

How do you safeguard yourself from what can appear to be love but is so far away? The possibility of a far away love affair actually functioning are so slim and costly! Isnt the saying: Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos really true? If so, why is it sooo hard to not to fall in love with one of them after all. Don't/Shouldn't we know better?

To those of you Dominican ladies (and yes, I am really only directing this to you) that have fallen in love in DR and live outside of the country (outcome good or bad as of today) please give me your feelings on this...

Small print: this comes from a conversation I had with some Dominican girlfriends this weekend, with this thread I am in no way admitting to being in love in DR ;o)

ricktoronto · #2 04-04-2005, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Talldrink

[SIZE=3][SIZE=2]With all the stories about sankies and how 'charming' (AKA Mueleros) Dominican men are, how do you keep from falling in love with one of them?

Don't drink so much.

badpiece33 · #3 04-04-2005, 07:08 PM

Relax TallDrink I can come to US or visit you in DR. I promise I won't break your heart

Badpiece

Talldrink · #4 04-05-2005, 10:16 AM

I'm sorry Rick, does my post sound drunk?

marliejaneca · #5 04-05-2005, 11:28 AM

I think what Rick meant was because people tend to overdrink in the DR while on holidays, a lot of their feelings are results of being tipsy,too much sunshine, too much music, etc. I don't think he meant that you were drunk while writing your post!! LOL
Unfortunately, when they sober up and are back in their own countries, they don't snap out of it!
Marlie

Larry · #6 04-05-2005, 11:48 AM

TD, you know I love ya but your post is a perfect example of how a womans thought process is so different from a mans and why women will forever have their emotions trampled upon by conniving men. While you are trying to figure out how to keep from "falling in love" with one of these guys, all those "Sankie Criollos" are trying to figure out how to "land" one of you. Your purpose in his life would be for sex and money....or eventually as you said "papers". His purpose in your life would be someone to "love" and who loves you back unconditionally. This is the last thing one of these guys wants, but he will be as charming as possible so he can masquerade as someone who sincerely loves you just so he can keep draining you of some money and screwing you whenever you fly down. The trick for him is to keep as many of you going simultaneously as possible. It is quite simple and the strange thing is that I KNOW most of you girls understand this on some level but seem to quickly dismiss it in some fog of emotion brought upon by a little romance.

Too bad you can't shut off emotions as easily as men can. Your lives would be so much easier.

Larry

rellosk · #7 04-05-2005, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Talldrink

To those of you Dominican ladies (and yes, I am really only directing this to you) that have fallen in love in DR and live outside of the country (outcome good or bad as of today) please give me your feelings on this...

I didn't realize that ricktoronto, badpice33, and Larry were Dominican ladies; or is this just a bit of role playing?

Talldrink · #8 04-05-2005, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Larry

... It is quite simple and the strange thing is that I KNOW most of you girls understand this on some level but seem to quickly dismiss it in some fog of emotion brought upon by a little romance...

This is very true.

Rellosk, is fine. as long as they are not deviating from the point of thread I welcome their replies.

Music · #9 04-05-2005, 12:10 PM

Go on vacaton to the DR with this in your head.

You are not going to the DR to find the love of your life.
Your going to have fun, nothing serious. Yes the men are good looking so some eye candy and have as much fun as you want.
Know that these guys sweet talk all women who visit so just smile, flirt have fun but KNOW THAT THIS FUN STAYS AT YOUR VACATION ONLY!
To really avoid falling for a sankie don't spend too much time with one guy

Do not give your phone number to anyone!
A tip just sit back a watch the men(sankies), you will see how they prey on women and smooth talk them.

When I go on vacation I go to relax, have fun and meet some people. I do not go to find the love of my life. I also love to dance so I never stay with one guy I dance with lots and they soon get the hint I cannot be played. Besides I tell them I know all about sankies and I've been to the DR enough times to know what they are after and they won't get it with me. They usually smile and laugh. Some will dance with you and be cool but some will disappear as they realize they have no chance to use you and that's fine with me! I dont' want the headache of some guy trying to hang all over me as if I'm his girl while all he's thinking about is how much he can get out of me.

I know there have been some successful relationships with men from the DR and not all men are sankies.
But beware especially in tourist areas there are a lot of sankies around.

sorry if it was a little long

chuckuindy · #10 04-05-2005, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Talldrink

How do you safeguard yourself from what can appear to be love but is so far away? The possibility of a far away love affair actually functioning are so slim and costly! Isnt the saying: Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos really true? If so, why is it sooo hard to not to fall in love with one of them after all. Don't/Shouldn't we know better?

Yes we should know better, however, there are certain times in our lives that we are more likely to be smitten than others. We all need to love and be loved, for what ever reason.

All relationships take their toll on us emotionally, physically, and financially. Long distance relationships simply create additional burdens.

I have tried to put my LD relationship behind me but I can not, so I will do what I can to make it last.

Chuckuindy