One week to go...dreading this ecounter...

Berzin · #1 04-15-2005, 03:33 PM

I have to sit down and tell a particular young lady that I happen to like very much that there is no future for us. I am not looking forward to it, but these long-distance relationships are just too much of a joke. If you look down the road and wonder what will you be getting yourself into trust your instincts. A little cynicism would'nt hurt here.

So I decided from the start not to blind her with false promises of the Shangri-La that awaits her here in the US. I tried to paint life here as realistic as possible but the dominican fantasy seems to be "Alto Manhattan with a rich gringo" or bust. Well, it's going to be bust with this particular cat right here.

Would I change my mind? Probably not, only because as I am not sending her money and she does'nt work I am wondering what exactly she is doing to get paid...I have a funny feeling I know what it is and I am pretty sure she won't admit it, of course. But it won't stop me from trying to get it out of her.

Too bad, she IS a very nice person and great to be around. But like the song says, "you cant' turn a ho into a housewife".

Ricardo900 · #2 04-15-2005, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzin

I have to sit down and tell a particular young lady that I happen to like very much that there is no future for us. I am not looking forward to it, but these long-distance relationships are just too much of a joke. If you look down the road and wonder what will you be getting yourself into trust your instincts. A little cynicism would'nt hurt here.

So I decided from the start not to blind her with false promises of the Shangri-La that awaits her here in the US. I tried to paint life here as realistic as possible but the dominican fantasy seems to be "Alto Manhattan with a rich gringo" or bust. Well, it's going to be bust with this particular cat right here.

Would I change my mind? Probably not, only because as I am not sending her money and she does'nt work I am wondering what exactly she is doing to get paid...I have a funny feeling I know what it is and I am pretty sure she won't admit it, of course. But it won't stop me from trying to get it out of her.

Too bad, she IS a very nice person and great to be around. But like the song says, "you cant' turn a ho into a housewife".

I myself is going thru a "not on my visa" relationship, I will let my novia

know not this time(because I'll be in SANTIAGO)

but the my next time when I am in the Capital. She is a sweet girl, but she have a child and her job at the hair salon does not pay well. The cost facing me trying to bring her and her kid in the U.S. is quite long and expensive. There are tons of Dominican chicas in NYC, to choose from, Drop Dead Gorgeous!! So if I bring any chicas on K-1 or K-3 Visa, she must have:
1. Good Job
2. Good Looks
3. No KIDS!!!
4. EDUCATED!!

The problem is that like myself, going to the DR numerous times, hanging out in the barrios all the barrio chicas are on chasing after you for a way out!!
I am educated and middle-classed, so why am I hanging with non-educated (of their own choice) and lower-classed people in the barrio. I have nothing against poor people, its the poor attitude in life that I don't like.

So Berzin, next time hang with people who are of your "equal or better".
Steak or Hamburger??

Mi dos centavos

jrf · #3 04-15-2005, 08:56 PM

Intersting state of affairs. I feel for ya.
Not easy being away and wondering what is going on and what to do.
May not be an easy visit but you obviously feel that it has to end.
Hope all goes well.

Hillbilly · #4 04-15-2005, 10:06 PM

Hillbilly's Three Golden Rules for Dating a Dominican strike again.....

Well thought out Berzin and you, too Ricardo....

HB

A real Dominican grandfather!!!!

RHM · #5 04-15-2005, 10:20 PM

[QUOTE=Hillbilly]Hillbilly's Three Golden Rules for Dating a Dominican strike again.....

Amen Hillbilly. I was thinking that too...your rules are timeless.... But even more so I was wondering why so many people share their lives on the internet...call me stupid...and I'm not bashing the dude who started this thread but I have always played my cards a little bit closer to my vest...go figure...anyway...good luck and go read Hillbilly's rules before you proceed

chuckuindy · #6 04-16-2005, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzin

I have to sit down and tell a particular young lady that I happen to like very much that there is no future for us. I am not looking forward to it, but these long-distance relationships are just too much of a joke. If you look down the road and wonder what will you be getting yourself into trust your instincts. A little cynicism would'nt hurt here.

So I decided from the start not to blind her with false promises of the Shangri-La that awaits her here in the US. I tried to paint life here as realistic as possible but the dominican fantasy seems to be "Alto Manhattan with a rich gringo" or bust. Well, it's going to be bust with this particular cat right here.

Would I change my mind? Probably not, only because as I am not sending her money and she does'nt work I am wondering what exactly she is doing to get paid...I have a funny feeling I know what it is and I am pretty sure she won't admit it, of course. But it won't stop me from trying to get it out of her.

Too bad, she IS a very nice person and great to be around. But like the song says, "you cant' turn a ho into a housewife".

I am sure that you have thought this out and feel that you are doing the right thing, but are you? I know exactly where you are coming from and have had the same thought on several occasions.

Yes, you are right, LD relationships are a pain in the a$$, and are very expensive. They can break your heart, bring you to tears, and make your mind run wild with mistrust. On the other hand they also can bring endless hours of joy. It’s all a matter of trust.

Screw HB’s rules, the odds of finding a woman who fits this criteria are a million to one. I don’t care if my novia is poor and will never get a visa ( I will not pay for one), or that she is lazy and undereducated. It makes no difference to me that she makes her living in a bar, is 30+ years younger than me, and has no real domestic skills. I could care less that she has no money in the bank, is black as the ace of spades, and brings a lot of baggage with her.

All I know is how she makes me feel, and I like that feeling. I trust her until I am proven wrong.

Chuckuindy

RHM · #7 04-16-2005, 09:45 AM

Screw Hillbilly's rules?....that is blasphemy!

OK...maybe not...but there is a hardcore common sense vibe that screams out from the sacred "Hillbilly Rules"...violate them at your own risk...just promise to post here when you ignore them and end up getting the short end of the stick...

the rules may sound harsh to the uninitiated...but they are tested and true...

AnnaC · #8 04-16-2005, 10:13 AM

yeah chucky what do you mean screw HB's rules? How many of your relationships have worked out? If you're going to spend a ton of money on someone you can't trust in return for a few weeks a year worth of fun there's cheaper ways of doing it.

The "Pay as you go" plan comes to mind

Bartolomeo67 · #9 04-16-2005, 10:44 AM

Hi Berzin, I feel for you. It's going to be hard but you have to do it for your own good (that is unless you are planning to live in the DR anytime soon).
I did the same thing 3 years ago with my Santiago novia and recalling that break-up phone-call still makes me feel sad. The poor girl was speachless. I was her only way out of her miserable barrio and I cut that lifeline. She was also a very nice girl, genuinely in love with me, under strict control of her mommy but so undereducated, knowing nothing about the real world outside her barrio, not someone to take away from her family and to live in the hard '1st world'.
As for not working, this doesn't necessarily mean she is a 'working girl'. My gf lived with her humble family and most of the time didn't have a job, someone in the family always has money to pay for the basics in life.
Bartolomeo

Bartolomeo67 · #10 04-16-2005, 10:55 AM

[QUOTE=Ricardo900] ... her job at the hair salon does not pay well.../QUOTE]

Ricardo, I have to disagree with you here.
You can take a dominican hairdresser to any country in the world and she will almost immediately find a job in her line of business and help you get extra income. The same cannot be said of dominican lawyers, doctors, engineers etc who will, certainly in the first years abroad, always end up working way below their dominican degree's level in any western country and feel frustrated about it.
my two eurocents
Bartolomeo