Acceptable Behavior?

[Suzie]

I have a question about an incident that I witnessed while in the DR recently, and I was wondering if any Dominicans, or those who have lived there long enough to understand the culture, can give me some insight.

A cousin of my friend was joking around with his mother, with whom he is close ( a self proclaimed total mama's boy), and in jest, to get a rise out of her, he reached out to grab her crotch and she smacked his hands away as it was about an inch away. I was completely shocked as I think this is one of the rudest and most disrespectful move a man can make on a woman...and his mother especially!! But she reacted like it was a normal thing for her 19 year old son to do, akin to reaching for a cookie jar. I expressed my shock to my friend and he said that his cousin does it all the time, and he does it to his sister (17) too. No big deal, it's just all jokes. I didn't venture to ask if my friend does this as well because frankly, I'm afraid of the answer. I am wondering if this is acceptable behavior among certain classes in the DR, because I find it really disturbing.

Also, it was noted in some threads that Dominicans are less sexually conservative than North Americans ... is this just inside the bedroom, or does it extend to other areas so as to normalize other behaviors that North Americans might disagree with?

[Mirador]

Suzie, you have a right to be appalled. Obscene gestures are crass in any environment. What you witnessed was obviously extreme low class. Keep in mind that obscene gestures exist in every culture, and are learned behavior. I remember the first time I watched a respectable woman clutch her crotch and gesture loudly: "Yo seré loca, pero a mi nadie me lo toca"...

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[trina]

Honestly, I don't know if I would consider this extremely low class, or some form of abuse. It makes one think that there is a huge amount of sexual abuse and/or incest in this family. It's unfortunately more common than one would imagine. Sick, and no, definitely not acceptable in any culture.

[AZB]

I am with mirador, what you have witnessed was dominican trailer trash behavior. This sort of behavor is not tolerated among the educated class dominicans.
AZB

[bienamor]

Originally Posted by AZB

I am with mirador, what you have witnessed was dominican trailer trash behavior. This sort of behavor is not tolerated among the educated class dominicans.
AZB

AZB this type of behavior has nothing to do with the educated class dominican!!! of the allegations that the rich educated upperclass from Santiago have a corner on how to act properly!


It would not be tolerated by any of the the Dominicans I know and work with. These are not doctors, lawyers, etc. Some come from the barrio's, some are upperclass, and most are what would be considered middleclass (upper and lower). none of them would tolerate this type of behavior.

[miguel]

Originally Posted by Suzie

.A cousin of my friend was joking around with his mother, with whom he is close ( a self proclaimed total mama's boy), and in jest, to get a rise out of her, he reached out to grab her crotch and she smacked his hands away as it was about an inch away. I was completely shocked as I think this is one of the rudest and most disrespectful move a man can make on a woman...and his mother especially!! But she reacted like it was a normal thing for her 19 year old son to do, akin to reaching for a cookie jar. I expressed my shock to my friend and he said that his cousin does it all the time, and he does it to his sister (17) too. No big deal, it's just all jokes. I didn't venture to ask if my friend does this as well because frankly, I'm afraid of the answer. I am wondering if this is acceptable behavior among certain classes in the DR, because I find it really disturbing.

Also, it was noted in some threads that Dominicans are less sexually conservative than North Americans ... is this just inside the bedroom, or does it extend to other areas so as to normalize other behaviors that North Americans might disagree with?

I have a few things to tell you because this behavior is just sickening!. Please, read very carefully!

1- This has nothing to do with ANY class. There are lowlives in ALL classes. That guy IS a lowlife.

2- No, that is NOT acceptable in the Dominican culture, only on the lowlife culture.

3- To put your hand on a female's, ANY female, crotch just to get a "rise out of her", is not only sick but also very stupid and infantile. Only an inmature and lowlife prick would do such a thing.

And, read the below a few times or until it sinks in:

4- Run as fast as you can from your friend. Why?, because if he thinks that "it's no big deal" and "it's just all jokes", that means that he sees nothing wrong with it and when one sees nothing wrong in something that IS wrong, he, also, would not hesitate to do it too. In a way, from his reaction, he is condoning(?) it.

What a sick pig!!

Please, AZB, spare us the "this does not happen... blah blah blah". Guess what, when the Dominican elite take a crap, a perfume aroma does not comes out. Caviar crap smells the same as chimichurry crap!!.

This happens in ALL classes.

[Chirimoya]

A friend's primary school age sons have longish hair. One of them in particular is frequently mistaken for a girl, and on a couple of occasions complete strangers - old women - have grabbed him in the crotch to see if it's true that he really is a boy. I saw this for myself one time - we were in a comedor and the Doña in charge did this. The child was outraged and upset. We as foreigners were not sure how to handle it. WTF can you say!?

[M.A.R.]

Originally Posted by AZB

I am with mirador, what you have witnessed was dominican trailer trash behavior. This sort of behavor is not tolerated among the educated class dominicans.
AZB

ay chus. There are sickos in every society. this guys just has no class or education whatsover

[trina]

Originally Posted by Chirimoya

WTF can you say!?

Hi Chiri.
I'd probably start with the Spanish equivalent of WTF. And if they did it to one of my boys, I'd probably say a whole lot more than that and maybe even end up in jail.

[AZB]

Oh my dear programmed robots. Did I mention elite? Lets make one thing clear, I don't hang with elite class, they want nothing to do with me. Why does it have to be always elite? There is nothing in between the elite and low class? All I have said was that this type of behavior is tolerated in the dominican trailer trash type community (like the american trailer trash community). So please dummies, where is the word "elite" listed in my post? One guy mentions the "elite" word and the rest of the blind followers simply follow. You guys would make great slaves, too bad its blind leading the blind.
Now I said, the "educated" types will not tolerate it. I have seen this bahavior in the barrio setting and only in barrio setting. Now if you know some engineer or some other rich chopo acting the same way, guess what, he is still a chopo but now with a SUV and some money.
AZB